Dating And Being Single!

I have straight friends and I have Gay/Lesbian friends.  Most of my friends are married, dating someone, partnered and then there are a few that mingle single.

Recently one of my mingle single friends asked me if I thought the dating world was the same for straight people?  So I got thinking...

I have seen and held many of my straight pals hands while they date, mingle single, breakup, marry, date, breakup, marry, etc...

Also I have held many hands, purses, feather boas, and hair up while my Gay/Lesbian pals date, 
mingle single,breakup, marry, date, breakup, marry, etc...
So really dating is the same, regardless of your sexual preference.

My brother and his wife dated, brokeup, disliked each other, screwed around, had an STD, dated each other, brokeup and got pregnant.  Then they got married and now have 3 boys.  They have their share of ups and downs.

As for one of my Gay friends, he and his BF have been "together" for 20 years.  They live together, yet sleep in seperate beds, share finances, bills, etc... they have had their disagreements, ups and downs and are still together.  Which this tale needs to be shared at another time.

My point is, dating and being single is rather the same for everyone, the rules really are not all that different.  Every person and every couple experience pain, love, and everything in between.

Go forth, date, love, hurt, laugh and cry!

Embarrassing Moment, my ass!

I was recently asked what Divine Man’s most embarrassing moment was?
This was asked in front of a classroom full of writing students.

My reply was:  Moi has had so many of them!  But let me see…which one do I share with you first?

“Picture It” it is 1998, a cold night in November.  I am watching Melrose Place and as you know, there is nothing more sinful then watching MP while eating cheesecake!  I decide that during the commercials I would go slip into my PJ‘s(which is a night shirt).  After that I go and get myself a bottle of water from the refridge.  I then go back to the TV and sit down on the floor.  As I continue to watch MP another commercial is on.  All I remember is that it is funny, and I start laughing.  As my laughter gains momentum…it happens so fast-gas is released from my perfectly shaped ass.  What a buzz kill!  But I figure oh well, no one heard this indiscretion but Moi!  MP starts and I continue to sit there and watch all the scandal, sex and lies unfold in front of my eyes.

It is about 8:40pm and I have another 20 minutes to go.  I realize that my water is gone and need a night cap!  So I get up and I notice an odor…I start sniffing and think it must be from the fart.  I brush it off and get some bathroom air freshener.  I do so carefully as I like to watch TV in the dark, Moi comes back into the family room and sprays the air.  I think get a night cap and return to my spot on the floor.

Five, ten minutes pass and again I can smell the odor.  So I spray more freshener.  I don’t remember the ending of the episode.  All I remember is waking up to all these bright lights and my parents, my brother and his GF all standing around me.  I immediately smell that awful odor and start looking at my legs, my night shirt, and that’s when I touch it.  As I pull my fingers away from my booty and where I was sitting…I am mortified to discover poop on my fingers.

It turns out that when I laughed so hard earlier, my fart was a wet one.  It came out so easy and fast.  I never noticed it.  Now it was smeared all over my ass, PJ’s, the carpet, etc…

So whenever you think you have just done something embarrassing…unless you have crapped yourself in front of others, just know it could be worse.

Good Ole' Charlie...R.I.P. 2012

On thursday August 9th, 2012 the County of Fond du Lac, WI and various parts of the world lost one hell of a great man!  He was driving home from the State Fair with two friends, and his two Grand-Daughters(whom he took there everyyear) as he drove them all back home, he suffered a massive heart attack and did not survive.
Moi was very fortunate to know him.  His name is Charlie, Charlie Burnett.  He was...is a very talented man, with mechanics, computers and much much more.  He was... is a very loving father, grandparent, friend...
It's no secret that I did not always approve of some of Big Daddies friends' but Charlie was the exception.
My earliest memories of him take me back to when I was a teenager.  For a number of years he would take me to his country acreage each November so that I could cut down a fresh pine tree for the Holidays.
I never told him this, but one summer when I was 19, maybe 20...I suffered a bout with depression, he took my parents and I to his cabin, and we stayed there over-night.  The next day he presented me with a purpose.  I got onto the thatched roof and removed every single pine needle from it.  It was layered a few inches thick with needles.  For some unknown reason that gave me a sense of purpose, challenge, it was rewarding when I finished.  So I thank you for that.  Thank You Charlie.
Charlie has been a very good friend to my Dad(since they were young men) and to my Mother.   Whatever he could do for them, he did.
Every single time I have ever seen him, whether in his Auto Garage business, under a car, or at a social function...his eyes always have had a sparkle in them.  Not many people have that, but he did.
I always thought of him as "Doc in Back To The Future" -he somehow always reminded me of that character.
His wife, Nancy was ill for many years, and he basically raised their daughter, Holly- on his own.   I have always held much respect for him.  He raised her, and loved her and her children like mad.  He spoke of them alot.  I also respect him for remaining faithful to his ailing wife.  Most men would not.  He was one of the good guys.
Rest Peacefully, You WILL always be in our thoughts and memories!

Mingle Single Events

For those of you that do not know, Moi has been diligently working with beads of perspiration streaming down my flawless head and dripping between my ….fingers as I have been typing away like a chicken on the rag!  The past few months I have been creating and polishing my new business venture!

After attempting to work for a matchmaking firm in the Tampa Bay area I got thinking…Seeing as how this firm can not get it together, I might as well as do it on my own, Moi style!  And so the conception of Mingle Single Events was created.

I was called “home” to tend to some family business and thought …”hey maybe I should start MSE there?”

Divine Man has been busy as a wet beaver trying to build a new home, all the while the currents are pushing me down stream.  It as if a unknown force is telling me…go back to hence you came from!  Which really is in Wisconsin.  So here I am folks feeling like a drowning beaver.  But, never the less Moi shall prevail, I might be a wet beaver, but this beaver is divine!  The most divine one you will ever have the pleasure of meeting!

So if you are single, new to Wisconsin, fresh out of a relationship, a single professional, looking to socialize with other fabulous singles…look no further…

www.minglesingleevents.com   is the place to go…and MEMBERSHIP IS FREE!!!

Also you can find more stories there that will surely make you smile!

Talk About Your Quickie!

When there is a spark, instant chemistry between 2 people and you mistakenly think that an evening of wild sexual erotica is the basis for  a happy and long marriage…well chances are you are wrong!

I recently took on a side gig doing flowers for a wedding.  I am not really sure why these two people were entering into a lifelong commitment exactly?  The wedding was all planned in a matter of 3 weeks.  Talk about your quickie!  Whew!  So I went to the wedding site with all the fresh floral arrangements.  The Bride and Groom emerged looking hung-over, and all she could say was…”how pretty” “Oh it looks soooo pretty!”  I do not think she knew any other vocabulary.  He(the Groom) was smoking and enjoying a glass of beer at 10am.

The father of the Bride was outside in his garage enjoying a home made and rolled joint!  This all added to the ambiance to the backyard wedding!  I was instructed to cover the chairs with white chair covers, they were VERY wrinkled.  As I was doing this, I stepped in dog poop!  This was the breaking point for me.  Between the joint in the garage, the hung-over couple, the wrinkled lines, the dog poop and the food fit for a cookout….well I left!   I later learned that the wedding party ended at 8:45pm so that they could go bar hopping.

The lesson I have learned and want to share with you is:  if you want a quickie, that is fine, but do not turn it into a marriage.  Because before the pregnancy test can be read, the marriage will be over.

Take you time when you meet another person, date, talk, court him/her.  Go out and explore life together, enjoy the romance and make sure not to step in dog poop along the way!

Him or Them, A Guy In Love with Him...

Dear Divine Man,


I am a 25 year old male, a professional(teacher) and jewish.  My family is small, Father, Mother and a older sister who is married.  I have always been a religious person.  My faith has always been steadfast, and family is vital to my existence.  


However I have been living a lie for many years, and I feel compelled to free my life of such a lie and be free, to be who… what I am.  


I am gay, and I recently met this beautiful man whom has awaken me as if for the first time.  He has made me come alive and allows me to feel the freedom I so desperately desire.  On our first date I showed him the college I attended and played him a song on the piano in the music room.  After a few dates, I gathered the courage and kissed him.  It was pure magic!  Each kiss has only gotten more intense with each passing day, night, and date.  


Recently I took him to dinner to meet my very best friends.  It was a great evening.  There is something magical about him, he is so magnetic, so full of warmth and charisma.  He is what I call a “unique gem” in this life.  


Sadly, I am torn by my true love for him and by my love for my parents.  They expect me to be “their straight jewish boy.”  Whereas he loves me for me, for who… what I am. I am a gay male who is in love with a very special guy.  My parents are pressuring me, I am no longer welcomed at temple, and feel as if I am being crucified for being happy and in love.  What do I do?


I feel as if I have to choose them or him.


Help me.


So “Gay Teacher in Need of Help”…………

As for Moi who knows all about love, life and well did I say love?  Moi knows you love him in your mind, maybe in your heart.  But, if you truly love him then be with him.  Don’t think you are going to spare him a lifetime of this pain.  Guess what, if he loves you like you love him, the pain of not being together will be far more damaging.  Give him some credit.  Is he religious?

Have your parents met him and have you given them time to understand your love for him?  To get to know the real you and him?  This is no longer about you and your folks, this is now about another person…him.  He is innocent in this, he loves you for you.

Do you really love him, or do you just love the idea of him and that he is letting you be you?  If you love him, be honest to him, to you, and then your parents.

You need to truly love yourself for who…what you are(as you put it) before you can love another.  Take time to learn about you, him, your feelings, beliefs, what is important in the big picture and what you are willing to sacrifice.  Which no one should ever have to sacrifice one love for another love.

It is called love after all.  Let it go around.

Fleas Of A Thousand Camels!

Have you ever known someone that always seems to really piss you off?  No matter what they do, say, wear, they just always seem to be able to piss you off?

Have you ever gone to work or school or wherever it is that you go or do and your day is going along swimmingly perfect when all of a sudden…that one person decides to piss you off?  and they do this without thinking.  Without thinking about how their lack of respect will effect you?

“Picture It” a lovely spring day, the birds are chirping, the sky is clear and blue with not a cloud in it.  The sun is shining, as the warm breeze lazily blows around your neck and under your arms allowing the moisture to dry some before entering what has always been your favorite store.  You walk in and are greeted by smiles, waves, cameras flashing and everyone is happy with excitement because Moi has arrived!

Anyways…I am walking along and my phone rings…Hello Brady, what’s up?  Got your thumb up your ass?  Heheeheee!!!  No, Divine Man I do not…Brady replies with.  So what can Moi do for you?  Did my absentee ballot come yet?  NO!   As the proud American that Moi is, I look forward to election day!  Whether it be local, state, or national.  A few weeks ago I requested for an absentee ballot to be sent to Moi as I was feeling like a recluse lately(bloating, water retention, etc) and did not want to be seen.  So I sent the proper forms to my city clerk(this was in march).  It is now May 5th and today is election day.  And guess what, do you think Moi ever got the dam ballot?  NO.

This morning I wrote a letter to the evil city clerk that she is:

I mailed you my application for the absentee ballot for today’s election in early spring.  I never received it.  


On April 27th I called you. You did not ask for my name, nothing.  You dismissed me.  You were very rude.  All I simply wanted was to know why I have never received my ballot.  


As an American I have the right and the privilege to vote.   


I hope this does not continue to happen.  Please be sure that my future absentee ballots are mailed to me.    
Have a lovely day! 

I ask myself…what would Sofia(Golden Girls) do?  She would hex a Sicilian curse on her!   So this is what I say:

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch!