Tropical Paradise FOR SALE!

                  Tropical Paradise For Sale in Clearwater, Florida!Open to best offer!  

COMPLETELY RENOVATED 2 bedrm/2 bath, Great Rm, walk thru kitchen with counter, dining rm. car port for 2 midsized cars, NEW enclosed patio/Florida Rm, All appliances. UPDATES: freshly painted with tropical colors, earth tones, new carpet both bedrms , new vinyl in updated bathrms, fixtures/fans, new flooring thru out, ALL NEW energy efficient vinyl windows from Home Depot.
Double wide home 24x44 with 12x16 add on, Central Air/Heat two yrs young, Underneath just recently insulated and vapor sealed, roof recoated in white elasomeric roof coating, private back yard (no one behind you) or directly across from you in front. In PET FRIENDLY SECTION if you have one.
La Plaza Community Park--email for more info. Quiet, with pool, clubhouse etc. Close to Hwy 19 and off East Bay Dr., less than 20 mins to Tampa and St Pete...theater, Publix, dining close by.
OPEN TO BEST OFFER. most furniture included with options available. More Pics available!!!!! 

Black Draught, makes you smile from the inside out!

What does one do when he/she is experiencing a draught with their sex life?  Some people buy a dildo, some buy gummy bears, while others take cold showers.  Not Moi, no sir, I decided to get a Colonoscopy!  That’s right my draught was so dry that I thought…why not?

I realized the only way to get to the “bottom” of this was to take it “head on!”

After a number of months constantly running to the throne I finally pushed my fears aside and decided that it was time to go see Dr. Feel Good again.  I should have known that something was not right the night of The Explosive Date, but no Moi just thought I was eating to much cabbage or something?

So I hobble on in to see Dr. Feel Good.  He puts me under and while he does so, I dream of wondrous things.  Of sugar plums and faeries, or was it chiseled bare chested nurses?  Not really sure, everything is a bit hairy…no pun intended!

As I start to awaken and as my beautiful blue eyes begin to flutter open, I realize that maybe it was not a dream after all, because sitting upright in the bed next to me was the most perfect man Moi has ever seen.  He had dark wavy hair, a killer smile, muscled and chiseled abs.  His arms were huge and bulging, as was his….legs, yeah that’s it, his legs!  As I tried to move in my bed and sit up as I starred at him and felt my face smile, and then I noticed water dripping and sliding down my chin.  He was still sitting there starring towards me, smiling and obviously happy to see me.  That’s when I heard the noise from behind me.  I turned my head to see what it was, to my surprise and shock, there stood a very sexy woman in a rather short and revealing nurse’s uniform.

It turns out that while Moi was sedated during the procedure that Brady and Tulips volunteered Moi to be in a commercial.  I guess all the crew needed was a sleeping bloated body that looked like road kill to complete their shoot.

It was a commercial called:  “Black Draught” makes you smile from the inside out!

Black Draught is a freakin’ laxative, as if Moi needs one of those!
Just remember, when you find yourself with a scope up your ass and down your throat, things will get better.  After all it could be worse, the scope could get lost up there!

Dating And Being Single!

I have straight friends and I have Gay/Lesbian friends.  Most of my friends are married, dating someone, partnered and then there are a few that mingle single.

Recently one of my mingle single friends asked me if I thought the dating world was the same for straight people?  So I got thinking...

I have seen and held many of my straight pals hands while they date, mingle single, breakup, marry, date, breakup, marry, etc...

Also I have held many hands, purses, feather boas, and hair up while my Gay/Lesbian pals date, 
mingle single,breakup, marry, date, breakup, marry, etc...
So really dating is the same, regardless of your sexual preference.

My brother and his wife dated, brokeup, disliked each other, screwed around, had an STD, dated each other, brokeup and got pregnant.  Then they got married and now have 3 boys.  They have their share of ups and downs.

As for one of my Gay friends, he and his BF have been "together" for 20 years.  They live together, yet sleep in seperate beds, share finances, bills, etc... they have had their disagreements, ups and downs and are still together.  Which this tale needs to be shared at another time.

My point is, dating and being single is rather the same for everyone, the rules really are not all that different.  Every person and every couple experience pain, love, and everything in between.

Go forth, date, love, hurt, laugh and cry!

Embarrassing Moment, my ass!

I was recently asked what Divine Man’s most embarrassing moment was?
This was asked in front of a classroom full of writing students.

My reply was:  Moi has had so many of them!  But let me see…which one do I share with you first?

“Picture It” it is 1998, a cold night in November.  I am watching Melrose Place and as you know, there is nothing more sinful then watching MP while eating cheesecake!  I decide that during the commercials I would go slip into my PJ‘s(which is a night shirt).  After that I go and get myself a bottle of water from the refridge.  I then go back to the TV and sit down on the floor.  As I continue to watch MP another commercial is on.  All I remember is that it is funny, and I start laughing.  As my laughter gains momentum…it happens so fast-gas is released from my perfectly shaped ass.  What a buzz kill!  But I figure oh well, no one heard this indiscretion but Moi!  MP starts and I continue to sit there and watch all the scandal, sex and lies unfold in front of my eyes.

It is about 8:40pm and I have another 20 minutes to go.  I realize that my water is gone and need a night cap!  So I get up and I notice an odor…I start sniffing and think it must be from the fart.  I brush it off and get some bathroom air freshener.  I do so carefully as I like to watch TV in the dark, Moi comes back into the family room and sprays the air.  I think get a night cap and return to my spot on the floor.

Five, ten minutes pass and again I can smell the odor.  So I spray more freshener.  I don’t remember the ending of the episode.  All I remember is waking up to all these bright lights and my parents, my brother and his GF all standing around me.  I immediately smell that awful odor and start looking at my legs, my night shirt, and that’s when I touch it.  As I pull my fingers away from my booty and where I was sitting…I am mortified to discover poop on my fingers.

It turns out that when I laughed so hard earlier, my fart was a wet one.  It came out so easy and fast.  I never noticed it.  Now it was smeared all over my ass, PJ’s, the carpet, etc…

So whenever you think you have just done something embarrassing…unless you have crapped yourself in front of others, just know it could be worse.

Good Ole' Charlie...R.I.P. 2012

On thursday August 9th, 2012 the County of Fond du Lac, WI and various parts of the world lost one hell of a great man!  He was driving home from the State Fair with two friends, and his two Grand-Daughters(whom he took there everyyear) as he drove them all back home, he suffered a massive heart attack and did not survive.
Moi was very fortunate to know him.  His name is Charlie, Charlie Burnett.  He was...is a very talented man, with mechanics, computers and much much more.  He was... is a very loving father, grandparent, friend...
It's no secret that I did not always approve of some of Big Daddies friends' but Charlie was the exception.
My earliest memories of him take me back to when I was a teenager.  For a number of years he would take me to his country acreage each November so that I could cut down a fresh pine tree for the Holidays.
I never told him this, but one summer when I was 19, maybe 20...I suffered a bout with depression, he took my parents and I to his cabin, and we stayed there over-night.  The next day he presented me with a purpose.  I got onto the thatched roof and removed every single pine needle from it.  It was layered a few inches thick with needles.  For some unknown reason that gave me a sense of purpose, challenge, it was rewarding when I finished.  So I thank you for that.  Thank You Charlie.
Charlie has been a very good friend to my Dad(since they were young men) and to my Mother.   Whatever he could do for them, he did.
Every single time I have ever seen him, whether in his Auto Garage business, under a car, or at a social function...his eyes always have had a sparkle in them.  Not many people have that, but he did.
I always thought of him as "Doc in Back To The Future" -he somehow always reminded me of that character.
His wife, Nancy was ill for many years, and he basically raised their daughter, Holly- on his own.   I have always held much respect for him.  He raised her, and loved her and her children like mad.  He spoke of them alot.  I also respect him for remaining faithful to his ailing wife.  Most men would not.  He was one of the good guys.
Rest Peacefully, You WILL always be in our thoughts and memories!

Mingle Single Events

For those of you that do not know, Moi has been diligently working with beads of perspiration streaming down my flawless head and dripping between my ….fingers as I have been typing away like a chicken on the rag!  The past few months I have been creating and polishing my new business venture!

After attempting to work for a matchmaking firm in the Tampa Bay area I got thinking…Seeing as how this firm can not get it together, I might as well as do it on my own, Moi style!  And so the conception of Mingle Single Events was created.

I was called “home” to tend to some family business and thought …”hey maybe I should start MSE there?”

Divine Man has been busy as a wet beaver trying to build a new home, all the while the currents are pushing me down stream.  It as if a unknown force is telling me…go back to hence you came from!  Which really is in Wisconsin.  So here I am folks feeling like a drowning beaver.  But, never the less Moi shall prevail, I might be a wet beaver, but this beaver is divine!  The most divine one you will ever have the pleasure of meeting!

So if you are single, new to Wisconsin, fresh out of a relationship, a single professional, looking to socialize with other fabulous singles…look no further…

www.minglesingleevents.com   is the place to go…and MEMBERSHIP IS FREE!!!

Also you can find more stories there that will surely make you smile!

Talk About Your Quickie!

When there is a spark, instant chemistry between 2 people and you mistakenly think that an evening of wild sexual erotica is the basis for  a happy and long marriage…well chances are you are wrong!

I recently took on a side gig doing flowers for a wedding.  I am not really sure why these two people were entering into a lifelong commitment exactly?  The wedding was all planned in a matter of 3 weeks.  Talk about your quickie!  Whew!  So I went to the wedding site with all the fresh floral arrangements.  The Bride and Groom emerged looking hung-over, and all she could say was…”how pretty” “Oh it looks soooo pretty!”  I do not think she knew any other vocabulary.  He(the Groom) was smoking and enjoying a glass of beer at 10am.

The father of the Bride was outside in his garage enjoying a home made and rolled joint!  This all added to the ambiance to the backyard wedding!  I was instructed to cover the chairs with white chair covers, they were VERY wrinkled.  As I was doing this, I stepped in dog poop!  This was the breaking point for me.  Between the joint in the garage, the hung-over couple, the wrinkled lines, the dog poop and the food fit for a cookout….well I left!   I later learned that the wedding party ended at 8:45pm so that they could go bar hopping.

The lesson I have learned and want to share with you is:  if you want a quickie, that is fine, but do not turn it into a marriage.  Because before the pregnancy test can be read, the marriage will be over.

Take you time when you meet another person, date, talk, court him/her.  Go out and explore life together, enjoy the romance and make sure not to step in dog poop along the way!