An EBT Card, Fire Starters and 2 Teeth!

There I was, standing the checkout line at the grocery store when a man’s voice from behind started, as I turned around I realized he was talking to Moi… he asked if I could give him my $20.00 bill I held in my hands in exchange for the use of his shiny new EBT card. I looked at him for a second and replied with…no, as my nostrils began to take in the odor that seemed to permeate from his clothing. His clothes and breath reeked of cigarettes and booze. He began to tell me he had a sick girlfriend and baby. So I asked him “if your EBT card had money on it, then why would you need my cold hard cash?” He did not answer. Then began to get vulgar with me as if HIS issues were my fault. The cashier and bagger stood there, said and did nothing to help contain this situation.

I left the store minding my own business and went to the car. As I put the bags into the back seat and closed the door I then looked up and saw the vulgar man standing there. He again started yelling at Moi for not helping him. When he finally stopped his tantrum fit, I looked him in the eye and simply told him “perhaps you should look in the mirror at yourself for about 7 days straight, without smoking…because maybe then you will have the money you need for more important things like getting your girlfriend and baby the proper medical attention…if they even are really sick? Tell me, do I look like I was born yesterday? And with that I got in the car and left.

As I was driving along I notice a woman standing against a wall and in one hand she was holding up a sign that read “Please Help-Need Money, My house burned down!” and in the other hand she was holding onto a lit cigarette! Really, really? All I could think was “did the cigarette burn it down, she might want to stop that habit, or maybe not be smoking while trying to get free money for her burned down house” I had to giggle at the contradiction of the scene before me.

Soon after that I went into a bagel shop for some fresh lox and bagels. I approached the counter and saw a skinny attractive looking(until she opened her mouth) female clerk. She began to smile and ask if I needed anything. I noticed she only had 2 teeth, and then she wiped her nose with her bare hands. I decided it might be safer if I just left. I guess I now know why she was so thin…because she could not eat the bagels with only 2 teeth.

I can see it now…tomorrow’s bagel of the day…Boogie filled Bagels!

Gray Hairs BE GONE!

Moi has noticed a few gray hairs on various parts of my perfect body!  Can you imagine the horror, the disgust and shame I am experiencing?

Moi has seen some gray hairs, but never on my head or my body!  At this very moment I am drinking right from the box of wine.  I think I will install a shelf on the wall next to my desk that is higher so that I can attach a tube to the end of the nozzle and stick in my mouth.  That way my hands are free to type!  

Anywho...a few days ago I was giving myself a "trim" and that is when the horror began!  So I thought if I remove all the hair, then I will not have to deal with this embarrassing situation.  But then I thought...when it grows back I will either have to shave it all off again or it will grow in with more gray.  So I decided I would color it and that way it would look natural, without the gray.  So I got out my bag of tricks, colored my hair on my head(the one on my shoulders) and then the rest of it as well all the way down to my toes!

After the 45 minute processing time, I stepped into the shower and washed it out.  As I washed I realized that the color had now stained my skin.  The entire front of my body was now mocha brown!  I know I wanted a deep tan, but this was pure awful looking.  What am I to do now?  I will have to cancel my Playgirl photo session for sure! 

I scrubbed and scrubbed my body til it was raw!  I even used bleach, Lava soap, Spic and Span and Mineral Spirits!   Nothing was removing the stain from my once flawless skin.

Needless to say, I will not be out walking around in the buff anytime soon.  Perhaps I could turn this into a new trend? 

Greetings and Gossip from Paradise!

Over the past few weeks Moi has been dealing with a lot of shit! No really, I have had a bad case of diarrhea…and as you already know from “The Explosive Date” when it blows, it blows!

Anywho, recently I got a letter from a neighbor that is in Paradise, and she was filling me in on all the gossip! Apparently there is a woman that has taken up residence on 69^th St. She had lived there years ago with her frail mother. While she was there, she operated a revolving door business out of their home. Now she is back and God only knows what she plans to do this time? Oh, and then there is Jose’ who lives up the street about 2 doors, he is raising chickens in his domain…he is hoping to get the golden egg! He says he likes raising hens, but loves cocks!

Then there is Judith, who has started taking up walking her dog late at night, wearing pj’s, and a miners light strapped around her dam head…people have been complaining that she is using her “flood light” to shine for naked men or women in the trees?

OMG! I almost forgot, the “Paradise Community Managers” were terminated for embezzling, the wife was having sex with a resident and waived his monthly fees, the husband was engaging in sexual relations with minors(let me cut his balls off) and they had 5 other homes in the area that were pot farms.

One never knows who or what is living next to you.

Don’t let the white picket fence fool you, is it always the unexpected ones!

　

　

　

　

　

Hoops Of Fire, Part 2

We all have felt the impact of the fall of the American economy regardless where you are and who you are, unless perhaps you are Mitt Romney. Which is another story all together.

No I am talking about the middle class that seems to be disappearing at a steady clip right before our eyes. Maybe it is the economy, maybe it is just the way the world is now? Maybe it is because of politics and thee ole’ saying the rich get richer and the poor get poorer? There is nothing in there about the middle class? Maybe it never existed?

Moi has a tale to tell(what else is new?) about what the job market is REALLY like these days.

Picture It! A lovely fall day in November, the sun is shining high above Moi, and I find myself surfing the net for jobs(what a shock) and come across a job: Event/Party Coordinator, so I reply to the ad with my resume and the next day I get a reply. This all started on Nov. 9^th 2011. I went in for the interview on Nov. 10^th when I walked into Jazzy Jewels Parties, I was the only one there. The owner’s mother let me into wait for her daughter. When she finally arrived twenty minutes late(with her fast food) she was so casual about the whole thing. In fact, she was more worried about which sandwich was hers, her mother’s and her boyfriends, then she was with interviewing Moi. I started to see red flags, but thought I would give this a chance. Well needless to say she is unprofessional, talks to her staff like they are dirt beneath her wannabe diva heels. She can’t lift a finger, and has no clue about what it means to be organized, professional and honest. She (not to mention names-Alicia) asked me to come to an event with her so she could see Moi in action.

The day of the event comes and I am early, ready for the day and dressed to kill. She drags her feet because she has nothing organized, does not even have the proper tools and supplies for the day. Who does this? Any who…She arrives for the event 45 minutes late. She was suppose to be at least an hour early to do the hair and makeup for the guest of honor. Which means that she has now delayed the whole event, and the client has paid for this ballroom for 3 hours, including a buffet, a DJ, a candy buffet, pictures, and a cake table.

Our negotiations dragged out for a month and a half. I knew she was just a game playing unprofessional who has no remorse for others. Moi does not like to be played with, have my life hanging in the breeze waiting for her to finalize the details. She offered me a full time position at my terms. But then after a month of dragging this out she recanted her offer.

Tell me, how are people suppose to get work when there are people like this screwing with lives?

This is a serious offense, and needs to be addressed. This treatment needs to stop.

I feel compelled to share my experiences with you because if you or if know someone that is/has experienced the games that “professionals” play let Moi know and I will reply or expose the truth!


　
Who wouldn’t want someone like Moi on their team? Crazy I know. I mean all this passion waiting to explode into something...

When It Rains, It Pours!

Moi is very excited!  What a week indeed!  On tuesday I had a really terrific interview, and would love to showcase my talents there.  So I guess if it is meant to be, it will.  Then on thursday I got a call for another 2 interviews elsewhere. Then Friday came along and I attended a social mixer with a friend and did some serious networking.  You know they say, when it rains it pours!    And this morning I applied for Disney!  So somebody better snatch Moi up!

Last evening I attended a grand opening event for a bar/club.  It is called Norton's.  The place was packed like a college party!  Not really my scene, but I did meet a few single's, men and women!  So naturally I put in a plug for my pal Arlie!  Moi has always been a good matchmaker, and I must say I am seriously interested in it.  I can see it now...Divinely Dating!  HAHAHAAHAAAA!!!!

Anywho today I am preparing Chicken Curry Chili!  Moi's own recipe!  I will share with you all, don't fret!

Also making baked chicken wings, and fresh baked biscuits!  Then I will settle in for the long evening of The Oscar's and joining Moi will be none other then Redwood Creek Winery!

Chao!


Divine Man

Jumping Through Hoops Of Fire For A Job, Part 1

Moi is going to be down right honest, blunt, matter or fact. Not that I have not always been, but I am going to tell you the truth, the sad reality of what it is like for people that are just trying to get ahead. For those that want to get a job, to work, to feel worth something again. To know that tomorrow morning when I wake there is something there, something to wake up for. Some people are happy with waking up for food, drugs, alcohol, family, kids, a spouse, etc… But Moi needs more then that, I need to feel it in my soul, on my terms. I want to know I am making a difference, I have no kids, and I don’t do drugs, ok so I have some alcohol like wine once and a while. I have family and someone that knows when my heart is breaking into millions of tiny pieces because of someone else. Because no one will give me a chance. One little chance.

Like a lot of Americans, Moi has been looking for work. Seven days a week, and on average I apply for 10-30 jobs a day. What I have learned is that what you read online is not always true. The bulk of the jobs online that are posted on job banks, company websites and such are not even open, available jobs.

I have applied for the jobs that pay min. wage, I apply for jobs that I am most likely to qualified to do, but I have too. I have no choice. I NEED an income somehow. I will share with you examples of recent interviews and what happened, or lack of.

I will tell you this, I DO NOT APPLY for positions that I am unqualified for. I do not believe in wasting my time or anyone else’s.

The following postings are all REAL LIFE experiences…..

Follow my journey, tune in, I do this to warn you, and educate you, on the cold reality of what I have endured.

I encourage you to tune in to the next installments titled: Jumping through Hoops Of Fire.

　

In The Shower Trenches!

Now I know this will all be shocking to you....because Moi is sooooovery Divine and all, but Moi too does like to get in the trenches now and then and get dirt and paint under my perfectly manicured nails.....

Moi just finished re-bathing a shower!

It was mustard yellow, and now it is glistening Elephant Ivory Tusk!