Do you ever wonder where the phrase “he’s got his thumb up his ass” came from? Or what it really means?
Well let Moi here tell you what it really means, in only the divine way that I possibly can!
“Picture It” Thursday afternoon at 3pm, the day has been busy, full of excitement, the sun is out, and I am walking out to the white limo. Moi is heading to a fan event! As I step into the limo and sit down I realize I forgot my white Jackie-o’s inside the house. So I open the door and stepped out not realizing my right thumb was dragging behind and decided it would rather be stuck in the door! It happened so fast, one minute my thumb is up my ass, the next minute it is in the door being smashed until the blood is oozing out from under the nail. The pain was not instant, it was more like a delayed reaction.
As I pull it out slowly I starting chanting and praying that the nail is still attached. As I stand there in a slow motion moment as the music from “The Six Million Dollar Man & The Bionic Woman echoed in my head” I stare at my thumb. The nail is still attached.
It is then I start screaming “Brady, where the hell are you?” Why are you not holding the door open for Moi? This would not of happened if I had kept my thumb up my ass! But noooo, I had to open my own dam door!
Can you believe it? Open my own dam door? HA! Well needless to say, this is and will be the only time Moi opens my own door! EVVVER!
Moi thinks that the phrase “he’s got his thumb up his ass” has strong meaning and should not be laughed at or ridiculed so easy. Infact had I left my thumb up my ass it would not have been smashed in the door and I would still be able to have it up my ass or be able to use it. Instead it is wrapped in a bandage slowly healing. The nail is now black and blue with a strange hue of red mixed in there.
So just remember, it is ok to have your thumb up your ass, at least there no harm can come to it!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Bologna, Egg on the face, and Moi's Fat A_ _!
You all must be thinking that Divine Man is dead! Or that I got stuck on my toilet, not the case…in fact Moi has been very, very, very busy!
It seems as if each winter my ass blows up like a balloon! And before I know it I am sitting taller!
I started drinking 3 quarts of water each day, sometimes 4! However, Moi must make sure that I am close to the powder room or there is warm water all over! In addition to that, Moi is simply eating beef bologna, light mayo and whole wheat bread. This is a sure fire way to drop those pesky winter pounds(speaking from past experience)!
Aside from my fat ass, I must say my skin has never looked better, tanner and more radiant then it does after slapping egg whites on it for an hour a day!
In between my egg treatments and bologna sandwiches Moi has been lending a hand to www.mytampadating.com
Life has been full of parties, events, holidays and lots of mirror time as of late! I mean…St. Patty’s Day! Moi cooked and prepared Corned Beef Brisket, an all green salad, sauerkraut, boiled cabbage, potato croquets, and green punch with a kick!
On Easter Moi decided to stay home and do the whole 9 yards! In the morning I stuffed a 8 pound chicken with homemade wild mushroom dressing, and covered the bird with my own special “rub” which is: Cinnamon, Curry, Thyme, Cracked Peppercorn, Garlic, Basil. Rub the bird top and bottom! Then into the oven it goes. Next Moi prepared a 7 pound Ham and soaked it in ginger ale and beer for 2 hours in the crock pot. I decided to add a salad to the list of sides. Moi made Apple Waldorf Salad for the first time! It was sinful! Then I made glazed carrots, and “my special sweat trailer park potato au gratin layered casserole!”
It was a lovely day! My 84 year old neighbor, Karl came, he is very perky! And my Lesbian neighbor, Dee Delicious came! With a bag of wine!
Moi has missed you, and is back in action!
It seems as if each winter my ass blows up like a balloon! And before I know it I am sitting taller!
I started drinking 3 quarts of water each day, sometimes 4! However, Moi must make sure that I am close to the powder room or there is warm water all over! In addition to that, Moi is simply eating beef bologna, light mayo and whole wheat bread. This is a sure fire way to drop those pesky winter pounds(speaking from past experience)!
Aside from my fat ass, I must say my skin has never looked better, tanner and more radiant then it does after slapping egg whites on it for an hour a day!
In between my egg treatments and bologna sandwiches Moi has been lending a hand to www.mytampadating.com
Life has been full of parties, events, holidays and lots of mirror time as of late! I mean…St. Patty’s Day! Moi cooked and prepared Corned Beef Brisket, an all green salad, sauerkraut, boiled cabbage, potato croquets, and green punch with a kick!
On Easter Moi decided to stay home and do the whole 9 yards! In the morning I stuffed a 8 pound chicken with homemade wild mushroom dressing, and covered the bird with my own special “rub” which is: Cinnamon, Curry, Thyme, Cracked Peppercorn, Garlic, Basil. Rub the bird top and bottom! Then into the oven it goes. Next Moi prepared a 7 pound Ham and soaked it in ginger ale and beer for 2 hours in the crock pot. I decided to add a salad to the list of sides. Moi made Apple Waldorf Salad for the first time! It was sinful! Then I made glazed carrots, and “my special sweat trailer park potato au gratin layered casserole!”
It was a lovely day! My 84 year old neighbor, Karl came, he is very perky! And my Lesbian neighbor, Dee Delicious came! With a bag of wine!
Moi has missed you, and is back in action!
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