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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Bologna, Egg on the face, and Moi's Fat A_ _!

You all must be thinking that Divine Man is dead! Or that I got stuck on my toilet, not the case…in fact Moi has been very, very, very busy!

It seems as if each winter my ass blows up like a balloon! And before I know it I am sitting taller!

I started drinking 3 quarts of water each day, sometimes 4! However, Moi must make sure that I am close to the powder room or there is warm water all over! In addition to that, Moi is simply eating beef bologna, light mayo and whole wheat bread. This is a sure fire way to drop those pesky winter pounds(speaking from past experience)!

Aside from my fat ass, I must say my skin has never looked better, tanner and more radiant then it does after slapping egg whites on it for an hour a day!

In between my egg treatments and bologna sandwiches Moi has been lending a hand to
www.mytampadating.com

Life has been full of parties, events, holidays and lots of mirror time as of late! I mean…St. Patty’s Day! Moi cooked and prepared Corned Beef Brisket, an all green salad, sauerkraut, boiled cabbage, potato croquets, and green punch with a kick!

On Easter Moi decided to stay home and do the whole 9 yards! In the morning I stuffed a 8 pound chicken with homemade wild mushroom dressing, and covered the bird with my own special “rub” which is: Cinnamon, Curry, Thyme, Cracked Peppercorn, Garlic, Basil. Rub the bird top and bottom! Then into the oven it goes. Next Moi prepared a 7 pound Ham and soaked it in ginger ale and beer for 2 hours in the crock pot. I decided to add a salad to the list of sides. Moi made Apple Waldorf Salad for the first time! It was sinful! Then I made glazed carrots, and “my special sweat trailer park potato au gratin layered casserole!”

It was a lovely day! My 84 year old neighbor, Karl came, he is very perky! And my Lesbian neighbor, Dee Delicious came! With a bag of wine!

Moi has missed you, and is back in action!

 

 

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