The day begins to come to a close, and he asks me out to dinner.
Dinner turns into a lovely evening of conversation, which leads to another date, and another, and another. So far all systems are a go, and then he invites me to come to his home for dinner. Moi happily agrees and asks if I can bring anything? He simply states: just your Divine self! Well that is just to easy to do!
Anywho…. I arrive at his Condo and am greeted with a smile and a glass of my favorite wine. He ushers me into his abode. As I look around and take in the scene, I notice a porcelain banana on the entry way table. Just laying there all by itself. I think “that’s a bit unusual, but I guess it can be classy.” He walks me into the living room/dining room/kitchen area. My eyes look to the left and spot second banana, and then to the right and again I see another banana. He walks me into the guest room where I find myself trying not to laugh at the display in front of my eyes. On the bed there is about 2 dozen stuffed monkeys all sitting perfectly placed with… guess what… little bananas tied around their necks. Obviously this guy has an obsession with the banana. Which has me curious and nervous as to why? I guess there could be worse obsessions to have! As we make our way through the condo, we come upon the master bedroom. My eyes are now beginning to dart quickly back and forth, side to side and my head is spinning as I am becoming consumed with f#@*ing bananas!
It’s like a scene in a movie, and I find yet more bananas.
We sit down to eat, the meal is delish, and he offers Moi dessert. Banana’s Foster no less! HAAAAAAAAAA!
I am trying to work up my nerve to ask about his obsession with the banana. Instead I excuse myself to go powder my perfect little nose. Just as I enter the bathroom and close the door behind me, I stop dead in my tracks. I just stand there and look at the marble banana that is laying on the ledge that wraps around the Jacuzzi tub. Next to the banana is a little gem encrusted bottle. It has something in it. My heart is pounding in my chest like wild fire spreading, my hands are shaking, and beads of perspiration are gathering at my brow. I open the bottle and pour some of the liquid onto my hands. It is oil, with an aroma that I know… it is banana scented with a hint of cinnamon.
It then hit’s me like a brick wall smack in the face!
OMG! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Talk about giving new meaning to the words “ banana split.”
I am rather mortified, astonished and a bit turned on as I stand there realizing what he does with all these bananas. Unbeknownst to Moi, my hands have been rubbing together with the scented oil and I rush to the sink.
He calls for me and asks if I am ok? I reply with…. Yes I am just going Bananas in here looking for a hand towel!!!!!!
Needless to say, I leave that night with a few lessons learned yet again.
I always say: When life hands you lemons, make lemon drop martini’s, and then there are a rare few, or in this case I suspect only one person….
When life hands you a banana, make a dildo out of it!
People always amaze Moi, surprise, shock and enlighten.
