Gray Hairs BE GONE!

Moi has noticed a few gray hairs on various parts of my perfect body!  Can you imagine the horror, the disgust and shame I am experiencing?

Moi has seen some gray hairs, but never on my head or my body!  At this very moment I am drinking right from the box of wine.  I think I will install a shelf on the wall next to my desk that is higher so that I can attach a tube to the end of the nozzle and stick in my mouth.  That way my hands are free to type!  

Anywho...a few days ago I was giving myself a "trim" and that is when the horror began!  So I thought if I remove all the hair, then I will not have to deal with this embarrassing situation.  But then I thought...when it grows back I will either have to shave it all off again or it will grow in with more gray.  So I decided I would color it and that way it would look natural, without the gray.  So I got out my bag of tricks, colored my hair on my head(the one on my shoulders) and then the rest of it as well all the way down to my toes!

After the 45 minute processing time, I stepped into the shower and washed it out.  As I washed I realized that the color had now stained my skin.  The entire front of my body was now mocha brown!  I know I wanted a deep tan, but this was pure awful looking.  What am I to do now?  I will have to cancel my Playgirl photo session for sure! 

I scrubbed and scrubbed my body til it was raw!  I even used bleach, Lava soap, Spic and Span and Mineral Spirits!   Nothing was removing the stain from my once flawless skin.

Needless to say, I will not be out walking around in the buff anytime soon.  Perhaps I could turn this into a new trend?