Him or Them, A Guy In Love with Him...

Dear Divine Man,


I am a 25 year old male, a professional(teacher) and jewish.  My family is small, Father, Mother and a older sister who is married.  I have always been a religious person.  My faith has always been steadfast, and family is vital to my existence.  


However I have been living a lie for many years, and I feel compelled to free my life of such a lie and be free, to be who… what I am.  


I am gay, and I recently met this beautiful man whom has awaken me as if for the first time.  He has made me come alive and allows me to feel the freedom I so desperately desire.  On our first date I showed him the college I attended and played him a song on the piano in the music room.  After a few dates, I gathered the courage and kissed him.  It was pure magic!  Each kiss has only gotten more intense with each passing day, night, and date.  


Recently I took him to dinner to meet my very best friends.  It was a great evening.  There is something magical about him, he is so magnetic, so full of warmth and charisma.  He is what I call a “unique gem” in this life.  


Sadly, I am torn by my true love for him and by my love for my parents.  They expect me to be “their straight jewish boy.”  Whereas he loves me for me, for who… what I am. I am a gay male who is in love with a very special guy.  My parents are pressuring me, I am no longer welcomed at temple, and feel as if I am being crucified for being happy and in love.  What do I do?


I feel as if I have to choose them or him.


Help me.


So “Gay Teacher in Need of Help”…………

As for Moi who knows all about love, life and well did I say love?  Moi knows you love him in your mind, maybe in your heart.  But, if you truly love him then be with him.  Don’t think you are going to spare him a lifetime of this pain.  Guess what, if he loves you like you love him, the pain of not being together will be far more damaging.  Give him some credit.  Is he religious?

Have your parents met him and have you given them time to understand your love for him?  To get to know the real you and him?  This is no longer about you and your folks, this is now about another person…him.  He is innocent in this, he loves you for you.

Do you really love him, or do you just love the idea of him and that he is letting you be you?  If you love him, be honest to him, to you, and then your parents.

You need to truly love yourself for who…what you are(as you put it) before you can love another.  Take time to learn about you, him, your feelings, beliefs, what is important in the big picture and what you are willing to sacrifice.  Which no one should ever have to sacrifice one love for another love.

It is called love after all.  Let it go around.