Mandrake, Dog Shit and the Smiling Man!

"Picture It" ... it's a beautiful sunny morning, the skies are blue, the birds are chirping, there are cute little lizzard like geckos scurrying all around, and the flowers are in bloom!  As I skip along the sidewalk unaware that I have stepped off into the grass.  I realized this and thought ...why not take off my diamond studded flip flops off and go barefoot?  So I did.

I did this for a short while until I stepped in some wet and still warm, moist dog shit!  Great, just friggin great! I can imagine now how the rest of my day will go!

Thankfully, there was a Gardner working out in the upcoming yard and so I asked the nice man if he would assist me in cleaning off my perfectly shaped foot.  Of course he was more then happy to assist Moi!  I mean who wouldn't?

Once the dog shit is cleaned and removed from my delicate foot, I make my way to the marketplace where I begin to look for an assortment of items for a very special recipe!

The following ingredients:

Black Berry Root

Chicory

Hemlock

Henbane

Mandrake

As I make my way through the exotic market, trying to make conversation with the merchants from lands afar, which is not easy as one might think when you don't each speak the same tongue.
Regardless, I was offered samples of teas that possessed healing powers, and little cakes....breads...wines...and they gave Moi capes and magical slippers and a few other things.

As I took a minute from all the walking and mingling with the merchants, I sat down with a chalice filled with summer wine, and relaxed my feet.  Across the way, was a cute man, and at first I did not pay any attention to him, but I realized he was...well smiling at Moi... of course he was, I mean who doesn't?

As I sat there, I began to smile back, stir my wine with my left index finger so I could ever so slowly suck the wine from it in a seducing way...

This must have continued to go on for 2-3 hours... we just both sat there and smiled at each other.

Normally I would just approach...but thought I should just be coy and sweet today.

As I sat there smiling hoping and praying this handsome stranger would just get up and walk over to me... and before I know it, two large men in white coats approach the handsome man and as they do he stands up quickly and begins to fight them off.  They are big and strong and seem to restrain him.
I realize if I don't try and stop them I might never get to see him again... so I get up and run to his aid!

The men in white coats restrain him as I approach and quickly inform Moi that this handsome man is an escaped mental patient and has a condition called: Angelman Syndrome.  Which causes you to permanently smile forever.  So even if he did not want to smile or meant to....he was.

I learned a real lesson in life... just because someone smiles at you, find out why.... they maybe wincing from gas, or cramps or they might have Angelman Syndrome.  So the next time you step in warm moist dog shit, you should just turn around and go home!