As I sit here in my penthouse, wrapped in my red feather boa, red satin shimmering robe as I sip on a glass of wine I poured out of a box I ponder this:
It's Gay Pride month.
And this is the St. Pete Pride Festival.... As in St.Petersburg, FL.
Naturally I normally go, however this year I felt no need to go, to attend. I sit here with a heavy heart, and sense of sadness in my beautiful heart, mind, and body.
My reasons for not attending this evenings parade are: Alot of things in my life changed during and after my coma. For example: Since I woke up, I have begun to slowly remember people, conversations and secrets that were told to me. Also since the coma, I have realized that there are/were people that I held very dear to me that are no longer in my world. In fact one person in particular is at the center of this pain, his name is Franklin Frankie. We met about 3 years ago when I had first arrived in Paradise via the Rainbow Connection.
He was involved in a toxic and tumultuous relationship with a young man that did not respect him, nor care, show/offer moral support or true love. FF and I slowly became friends, and inched our way closer to each other. I met his daughters, his bestie, and each time his ex would surface his slithery spineless head and wreak havoc on FF's life, FF would fall apart and I would always be there to help him pick up all the shattered pieces and re-assemble his life, and his heart.
After the last breakup, he seemed to bounce back quicker and we were attending parties, social events, gallery openings and other such things. His bestie Kelly, would often come with us, and we all got along famously. She was a lovely wild spirit with butterfly wings and a unicorn horn.
FF and I eventually began to hang out just he and I.
Things were good, no they were great. It was the Summer of 69! LOL!!
We became the 3 Musketeer's, and regardless of what we were doing it was fun, joyful and always laughing. I remember the night a group of us went roller skating(first time in 100 years) and then there was the Masquerade Ball, days spent at the pool, potluck's at the penthouse, nights out clubbing, and Costume parties galore!
FF and I were growing closer, not sexually but just closer.
And then nothing. He cut me out of his life.
What is puzzling to me is that the whole time I was in the coma, he never came to see me. There are so many things, unanswered questions I have. It's rather disturbing and not easy to move forward when there are things that remind you of someone on a daily or weekly basis. I just want to know why?
Was it just me? What did I do to make you hate me so much? Was the connection all in my head?
Happy Pride my pets!!
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