Happy Halloween!

Halloween, All Saints Day, All Hallows Eve or Day....

Cultures all around the world celebrate this day with many different traditions, ideas, etc.  For example: The turnip was carved to honor the lost souls that were held captive in purgatory(in Ireland and Scottland)

We here in America, celebrate with wearing costumes, attending parties, movies, festivals, trick-or-treating, etc.

Moi as you know is a Major Halloween Fan.  I will start planning next years costume tomorrow.  Actually I have already been considering options for a month. 

But for Moi Halloween is not just about costumes and candy and parties.  It is about the power of this day.  Some believe it is the one day that Spirits can roam the Earth freely.  I have experienced many supernatural events on Oct.31 through the years. 

I embrace each All Hallows Eve, I get out my broom, my cauldron, candles, Ouija Board, wine...ok lots of wine!

Enjoy the day, the power, the magic!


Origin of name:

The word Halloween is first attested in the 16th century and represents a Scottish variant of the fuller All-Hallows-Even ("evening"), that is, the night before All Hallows Day.^[11] Although the phrase All Hallows is found in Old English (ealra hālgena mæssedæg, mass-day of all saints), All-Hallows-Even is itself not attested until 1556.^[

Halloween 2010...with Mimi, Cubes, Moi, and Brady

The Misadventures Of A Divine Man!: Maleficent: The Mistress Of All Evil, Green Faced...

The Misadventures Of A Divine Man!: Maleficent: The Mistress Of All Evil, Green Faced...: From the Moment Maleficent stepped outside of her dungeon where she was keeping King Stefan locked in chains to make him her “slave” she wa...

Maleficent: The Mistress Of All Evil, Green Faced And ALL!

From the Moment Maleficent stepped outside of her dungeon where she was keeping King Stefan locked in chains to make him her “slave” she was cornered by peasants, villagers, tourists, housekeeping staff, paparazzi, cameras flashing uncontrollably in Moi’s face!

The crowds only got bigger as I glided through the court yard, around the pool where swimmers stopping splashing and looked in awe. Others clapped loudly, photo opps galore, autograph signings, and then my entourage which consisted of Moi as Maleficent, Brady as King Stefan, McNamara-the photographer and her BF Rodney-who is an excellent guide. The escorted us in style to the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World to attend the event of the season: “Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party.”

We got into the lobby and people everywhere just stopped and looked, admired my flawless green skin, perky ruby lips, and flowing black satin gown with sharp accents of star dusted purple, and raspberry gussets with glittered purple overlays. As we reached the front, the red carpet, men laid face down on the ground for Moi to walk over as not to touch the ground. Women were “green with envy” and kids were enchanted, yet scared. Who was this lovely creature?

As we rode the monorail to the Magic Kingdom, more photo opps, more autograph signings, and more applauses! We were at our magical destination. As Maleficent walked ahead toward the gates, the crowds would part like the Red Sea so Moi would pass through. We made our way to the masses of people on Main St. and just stood there as if everyone was in slow motion all turning to look at us! At that moment, security, and staff quickly approached Moi and asked why I was breaking protocol? In my Maleficent voice I said: Why, my poor dears, I am the Mistress Of All EVIL, and surely you would be more then ecstatic to accompany me back to my chambers? It was not until half way there that the real Maleficent was spotted and they all stopped, turned in astonishment and just gazed at Moi. They were speechless.

Throughout the evening, I met Princess Aurora, and Merriweather, Lady Tremain and the Ugly Stepsisters, Jafar, many, many Jack Sparrows-some with teeth and some without.

Finally the moment of truth had arrived, Moi would come face to face with his look-alike! She knew I had up-staged her, as I saw her lip quiver and she tried to smile but I could tell it hurt. After numerous photos were taken by staff, guests, etc… we parted ways, but not until we did the ole’ kiss kiss like the true divas we are!

Again, Disney does make dreams come true! A night of villains, the headless horseman, whispers and shadows, and lots and lots of cameras flashing at Divine Man!

A truly perfectly magical evening!

　

Deep Undercover: Inside the Tree

Do you ever wonder where and how people get those “Funny Wal~Mart Pictures?”

Well Moi also discovered another place for the best sightings! At Dollar Tree.

While I was in the Great Midwest for my summer hiatus I decided to go undercover and work at the Dollar Tree. Like those funny walmart pictures that are all the rage online, Moi was surprised each day at what I saw walk in off the street. In fact sometimes it was dragged in off the streets as well! Like the singing fool, the toothless ex-beauty queen, the man with the oozing toe nails, the shemale or the fat bearded lady from the circus.

I was mostly amazed at the wide range of products that are sold there, such as: rib-eye steaks, hot dogs, microwaveable French Fries, Mexican Jumping Beans(what makes them Mexican?) 8 varieties of Tampons, roach killer, shredded cheese that does not melt, enemas, and my favorite items:
Pregnancy Tests, Ovulation Predictors, Vagi-Itch, Warming Jelly, and now Home Drug Tests. So tell me this why do they not sell condoms? I mean think about it, the only reason they sell these items is because you have an itchy va-jj, and so you feel the need to warm it with some lube while partaking in something of a sexual nature, while stoned, and then a few days later you think…gee maybe I am ovulating? And realize you might be preggers? So again I ask of you, why no condoms? If they sold condoms there would be no need for each of those $1.00 items. So I guess it makes more sense to spend $5.00 then $1.00?

On a serious note, it is truly sad that the American people have no other choice then to buy their groceries, and home entertainment for a dollar. Oh wait, it is not the general public, it is a select population of people that once were the average hard working people whom now have no job, live on Food Stamps, and government aid, unlike the rich who only seem to get richer.

Moi learned a few lessons while working under-cover there. I also lost 20 pounds while unloading freight and stocking shelves.

If you need something and you can not find it elsewhere….go to your local Dollar Tree, they sell it all, except for the condoms. Try the gas station next door.

Oh Rats!

Why do rodents find it necessary to make your house their home?
　
“Picture It” a lovely fall day, it is early evening and Moi, along with Diva Girl, and my ever so faithful sidekick Brady, arrive back in paradise. It is about 6:30pm and after 2 days in a limo, drinking free large Diet Cokes and inhaling McNuggets from none other then The Golden Arches, well lets just say that I will not be eating those again anytime soon. Do you know that you can use McNuggets for a variety of things, such as: cushion under the legs of a chair, a pin cushion, protection for the car antenna while in a car wash, a place to hide pain killers and if they are cooked in a Microwave they bounce like a ball on the pavement.

Anywho…

We arrive in the driveway of my paradise retreat, the sun is setting, the air is breezy, the smell of flowers is filtering in and out of my perfect nostrils, and finally my ass can breathe from the past 2 days on the seat. It is now so flat, one can serve tea and crumpets on it. As I extend my beautiful legs out of the car, people from everywhere appear, running towards us, screaming, throwing roses, snapping pictures, trying to get a piece of Moi! Brady and Diva Girl hide in the limo, and Moi braves the masses. Luckily for us, the local boys in blue are afoot on horses and are now controlling the crowds. My galpal Jordanna, that resides across the street from us escorts me inside my pad.
I love my fans, but all I wanted to do was massage my ass cheeks, fluff them up a bit!

As I look around, I am stopped dead in my tracks as I am shocked, shocked with horror as to what is displayed all over my kitchen floor. Rodent Shit! Yes folks, Rodent Droppings, crap, little black pieces of shit.

It brings a new meaning to the words: Oh Rats!

As I walk through the house I come to the master bathroom, where something has made a nest in the empty and dry toilet bowl out of a one of my lace teddies and pair of my see-thru undies. And if that is not enough I find a feather boa under the mantle, a towel under the dishwasher and one of Brady’s adult diapers stuffed under a dresser in his room!

As Brady stands in my bathroom staring at the toilet which is covered in mud from the recent rat runnings, in that moment one of those nasty creepy rodents climbs out of the toilet and scurries to hide under the dishwasher and proceeds to escape out of a hole that he/she made in the floor and flees for sanctuary in the wilds.

For the next 2 days Moi is terrified to sit upon the porcelain throne, so I now have to suspend myself in mid air above it hoping nothing will climb out and scratch my booty or anything else that is dangling!

Welcome Back To Paradise

A Fan Club Luncheon: A Dozen Silver Trays, A Utility Knife, and A Mother Lioness!

Moi has gotta say, Fan Club Luncheons are always a hoot, a great sense of joy, pride, and full of surprises. However the one I recently attended with Tulips and Brady was full of a bit more then usual.

It was the first night at the ever so lovely boutique hotel downtown the Twin Cities. The air was warm, the sun was setting with a brilliant array of hues ranging from lilac, teal, pink and orange. There were girls, young men, a few grannies, and a multitude of paparazzi flashing cameras, screaming my name, asking questions, trying to get a glimpse of Moi. As I made my way through the crowd outside to the front doors, I signed autographs, took a few photos, and then I was escorted inside.

The hotel staff was awaiting my arrival with roses in hand, petals on the floor guiding me to the front desk. There were candles flickering all around, a pianist playing a favorite tune of mine, and a dozen or more very attractive concierge all in black tuxedos with their hair slicked back, each one caring a silver covered tray. But what was under each tray…?

To Be Continued…