Embarrassing Moment, my ass!

I was recently asked what Divine Man’s most embarrassing moment was?
This was asked in front of a classroom full of writing students.

My reply was:  Moi has had so many of them!  But let me see…which one do I share with you first?

“Picture It” it is 1998, a cold night in November.  I am watching Melrose Place and as you know, there is nothing more sinful then watching MP while eating cheesecake!  I decide that during the commercials I would go slip into my PJ‘s(which is a night shirt).  After that I go and get myself a bottle of water from the refridge.  I then go back to the TV and sit down on the floor.  As I continue to watch MP another commercial is on.  All I remember is that it is funny, and I start laughing.  As my laughter gains momentum…it happens so fast-gas is released from my perfectly shaped ass.  What a buzz kill!  But I figure oh well, no one heard this indiscretion but Moi!  MP starts and I continue to sit there and watch all the scandal, sex and lies unfold in front of my eyes.

It is about 8:40pm and I have another 20 minutes to go.  I realize that my water is gone and need a night cap!  So I get up and I notice an odor…I start sniffing and think it must be from the fart.  I brush it off and get some bathroom air freshener.  I do so carefully as I like to watch TV in the dark, Moi comes back into the family room and sprays the air.  I think get a night cap and return to my spot on the floor.

Five, ten minutes pass and again I can smell the odor.  So I spray more freshener.  I don’t remember the ending of the episode.  All I remember is waking up to all these bright lights and my parents, my brother and his GF all standing around me.  I immediately smell that awful odor and start looking at my legs, my night shirt, and that’s when I touch it.  As I pull my fingers away from my booty and where I was sitting…I am mortified to discover poop on my fingers.

It turns out that when I laughed so hard earlier, my fart was a wet one.  It came out so easy and fast.  I never noticed it.  Now it was smeared all over my ass, PJ’s, the carpet, etc…

So whenever you think you have just done something embarrassing…unless you have crapped yourself in front of others, just know it could be worse.

Good Ole' Charlie...R.I.P. 2012

On thursday August 9th, 2012 the County of Fond du Lac, WI and various parts of the world lost one hell of a great man!  He was driving home from the State Fair with two friends, and his two Grand-Daughters(whom he took there everyyear) as he drove them all back home, he suffered a massive heart attack and did not survive.
Moi was very fortunate to know him.  His name is Charlie, Charlie Burnett.  He was...is a very talented man, with mechanics, computers and much much more.  He was... is a very loving father, grandparent, friend...
It's no secret that I did not always approve of some of Big Daddies friends' but Charlie was the exception.
My earliest memories of him take me back to when I was a teenager.  For a number of years he would take me to his country acreage each November so that I could cut down a fresh pine tree for the Holidays.
I never told him this, but one summer when I was 19, maybe 20...I suffered a bout with depression, he took my parents and I to his cabin, and we stayed there over-night.  The next day he presented me with a purpose.  I got onto the thatched roof and removed every single pine needle from it.  It was layered a few inches thick with needles.  For some unknown reason that gave me a sense of purpose, challenge, it was rewarding when I finished.  So I thank you for that.  Thank You Charlie.
Charlie has been a very good friend to my Dad(since they were young men) and to my Mother.   Whatever he could do for them, he did.
Every single time I have ever seen him, whether in his Auto Garage business, under a car, or at a social function...his eyes always have had a sparkle in them.  Not many people have that, but he did.
I always thought of him as "Doc in Back To The Future" -he somehow always reminded me of that character.
His wife, Nancy was ill for many years, and he basically raised their daughter, Holly- on his own.   I have always held much respect for him.  He raised her, and loved her and her children like mad.  He spoke of them alot.  I also respect him for remaining faithful to his ailing wife.  Most men would not.  He was one of the good guys.
Rest Peacefully, You WILL always be in our thoughts and memories!

Mingle Single Events

For those of you that do not know, Moi has been diligently working with beads of perspiration streaming down my flawless head and dripping between my ….fingers as I have been typing away like a chicken on the rag!  The past few months I have been creating and polishing my new business venture!

After attempting to work for a matchmaking firm in the Tampa Bay area I got thinking…Seeing as how this firm can not get it together, I might as well as do it on my own, Moi style!  And so the conception of Mingle Single Events was created.

I was called “home” to tend to some family business and thought …”hey maybe I should start MSE there?”

Divine Man has been busy as a wet beaver trying to build a new home, all the while the currents are pushing me down stream.  It as if a unknown force is telling me…go back to hence you came from!  Which really is in Wisconsin.  So here I am folks feeling like a drowning beaver.  But, never the less Moi shall prevail, I might be a wet beaver, but this beaver is divine!  The most divine one you will ever have the pleasure of meeting!

So if you are single, new to Wisconsin, fresh out of a relationship, a single professional, looking to socialize with other fabulous singles…look no further…

www.minglesingleevents.com   is the place to go…and MEMBERSHIP IS FREE!!!

Also you can find more stories there that will surely make you smile!