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Saturday, May 25, 2013

Memorials: Remembering those we have lost!

What is Memorial Day ?

It is a day we are suppose to remember and celebrate the people, lives, and the heroes that have fallen on our behalf in battle and at war.  But I think it also should be a day to celebrate what we have, and what we have lost.  When I think about it, it is rather bittersweet.

My Mother, Tulips’ Father- Caesar was in WWII and received the bronze star for his bravery.  According to legend, he was a strong man who sported curly dark brown hair, wore glasses and was lost to early in life.  In fact my Mother and the family lost him to a severe heart attack on Christmas Day 1975.  Somehow in all the pain of his passing my Mother Tulips, discovered she was with child.   You have to understand my Mother was unable to conceive and then she and Big Daddy got the news….

Almost a year to the date of Grandpa Caesar’s passing….the Divine One was born.  So I guess the saying “ When Someone Dies, another is born.”  Even though we never were able to meet, I have spent a good part of my life dreaming about him, what he must have been like, would he have loved me?  And then Moi thinks….of course he would silly, who doesn't!  I also had this recurring dream about him.  In the dream I was at the old homestead with Grams( Mother Rose) and we would be waiting with excitement as we watched the clock tick, 1:00, then 2:00, finally it was 3:00 and that meant Grandpa was coming home from work!  I would finally get to see him!  And just as the door knob would start to turn everything would go black and I would wake up.  Sometimes I would just be standing there waiting at the door waiting for him to appear….  It felt like it was hours, and hours and no Grandpa.  Finally after many years of having this dream…. 3:00 hit!  In walked Grandpa just like I always thought he would, he looked like the pictures!  He was so real, strong, handsome and had a twinkle in his eye, he made me feel like that twinkle was all for me!  As I sit here and type, my eyes are watering, I have goose bumps spreading all over my body thinking about that moment!  He hugged me tightly and called me “sparkle.”  After that last dream, in which we met and I got to feel the love that I was robbed of, the dream had come to it’s final chapter.

I saw him again a few years ago, this time he was coming to take my Grams home with him.  In fact I met him in the hallway of the rehab center that she was at.  He looked at me, put his hand on my left shoulder, and as I stood there with tears running down my face, my heart breaking he told me: “She is ok, she is going home with me finally.  You sparkle, are much stronger then you even realize,” We will always be here with you.  Then he walked down the hall and entered her room.

Later that morning, I asked my Tulips whom the white haired guy was that went into Grams’ room…. She asked what white haired man?  I said the man with the white curly hair and the twinkle in his eyes.

So this Memorial Day I am celebrating and honoring those people that I have lost, loved and will always be here in spirit with me!

“When one door closes, another one opens”

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