Have you ever wondered what your purpose is? Is it divine? Is it solitude? Is it helping others? Screwing people, lying, being an inspiration, entertaining the masses, or just living a quiet and simple life?
Moi has had a life full of drama, sadness, despair, happy moments, great love, turmoil, betrayal, laughter and death.
Have you really truly ever sat and looked into a mirror, or peered out the window at an open void pondering “What is my Divine Purpose?” “Am I deluding myself? Am I really something special? A person of great worth? Or am I just a nothing?
The great love I have experienced has come from my Mother Tulips, my Grams, Mother Rose, Brady, my Diva Girl, and even Big Daddy(in his ruff way) and my dearest friends.
Does one ever truly know their purpose?
Moi has always believed that Moi was destined for something great. Something special, big, and real. When Moi was a young child I was interviewed by the local paper and was asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Moi replied with: An actor in a Disney movie!
Well sadly, that has yet to happen. But since then I have had many dreams. Goals that I have met, and more I have yet to conquer.
I just one thing to say: “Chelsey Handler, Oprah, The View, Ellen, David and Jay….Oh and that orange haired guy Conan…..COME AND GET MOI!
Just know this, your life, IS your destiny! And only you can make it reality, unless you are Snookie with the big Ass! Or Kim, or Paris, or Lindsay Lo-ho-han…
Regardless of who you are, get out there and be your own divine self!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Dr. Harry P.P. And The Caesar Salad
There I was yesterday morning, looking radiant of course, Greek god like tanned body, my hair blonde, with my baby blues sparkling as I walked into the hospital where I was greeted by a candy-striper with a wheelchair for Moi to ride in, gift shop attendants carrying flowers, roses, dozens of bouquets, trays of chocolate covered caramels, frothy and bubbly sparkling drinks, and my new wardrobe that Moi would need to wear while there. My wardrobe consisted of a satin robe that opened in the back to reveal my perfectly shaped ass, and my dark tan lines!
After all the excitement in the lobby calmed down Moi was escorted upstairs to the 3rd floor(not 3 east) where I was taken into a room that was all surgically sterile and was lacking color. Everything looked cold and dead. I would say “Stiff” but that would be in poor taste, right?” or “would it be?”
Shortly after arriving in the room Moi was asked to strip down, peel my banana, show some skin, undress, get naked and put on my peek a boo robe. So I did, and soon after that my surgeon came in, Dr. Harry P.P. Handler(no relation to Chelsey Handler-or is it?). Dr. Harry PP is a man of great respect, brilliant surgeon and has touched my body inside and out more then once, ok 2 times, ok ok 4 times and this will make 5! Yup Dr. Harry PP has performed all my surgeries and will do another. But yesterday was a procedure to look up my perfect ass and make sure it was a-okay! That and to make sure my hat was on straight!
Seriously…Dr H needed to take some biopsies in order to screen for anything precancerous, or for colitis, and to make sure my 22 hemorrhoids were behaving and looking good. It turns out that my Caesar Salad from the night before had not passed through completely(ya know Caesar was a shitty guy!) and with that the test was done. Now Moi will have to wait almost a week to await the results. AHHHH!!!!!!
Remember, even when you are ass up in the hospital you are still divine, sometimes that is your better side! Keep your ass, I mean you head up!
Be happy! Be Divine!
After all the excitement in the lobby calmed down Moi was escorted upstairs to the 3rd floor(not 3 east) where I was taken into a room that was all surgically sterile and was lacking color. Everything looked cold and dead. I would say “Stiff” but that would be in poor taste, right?” or “would it be?”
Shortly after arriving in the room Moi was asked to strip down, peel my banana, show some skin, undress, get naked and put on my peek a boo robe. So I did, and soon after that my surgeon came in, Dr. Harry P.P. Handler(no relation to Chelsey Handler-or is it?). Dr. Harry PP is a man of great respect, brilliant surgeon and has touched my body inside and out more then once, ok 2 times, ok ok 4 times and this will make 5! Yup Dr. Harry PP has performed all my surgeries and will do another. But yesterday was a procedure to look up my perfect ass and make sure it was a-okay! That and to make sure my hat was on straight!
Seriously…Dr H needed to take some biopsies in order to screen for anything precancerous, or for colitis, and to make sure my 22 hemorrhoids were behaving and looking good. It turns out that my Caesar Salad from the night before had not passed through completely(ya know Caesar was a shitty guy!) and with that the test was done. Now Moi will have to wait almost a week to await the results. AHHHH!!!!!!
Remember, even when you are ass up in the hospital you are still divine, sometimes that is your better side! Keep your ass, I mean you head up!
Be happy! Be Divine!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Kissed By The Boss
Dear Divine Man,
I am a 25 year old male, professional who respects others, minds my own business, always goes above and beyond the call of duty, the extra mile at work and in life.
A few days ago, while I was finishing up a long day at work(it was about 8pm) and I was getting ready to leave, everyone else had left a few hours before. My boss came in (my boss is a female) wearing a black cocktail dress and heels. She seemed rather happy, giddy, and walked up to me and said: Oh I am so, so happy you are here late tonight! You see after leaving the wine bar, I realized that my zipper(as she slowly turns around) is stuck and I need to get out of this dress. Could you help me with this?
I told her I was not any good with zippers on dresses and that I was late for a dinner meeting. She turned around in a furry and grabbed my face and pressed her lips on mine. I pulled back and grabbed my coat and ran out the back door.
What should I do? Do I report this? And to who? The boss happens to be the owner of the company. Or should I just quit my job, that I am really dam good at, and love?
Kissed by the Boss.
Hello, Kissed by the Boss!
Well Moi does declare…even Moi has never been in that position. I have been in a few others, but never that one. I have been pondering my divine thoughts, searching my golden rolodex of opinions and advice!
Let me tell you a story Kissed.
Many moons ago, Moi was offered a position in management. Which Moi is dam good at, infact Moi is do dam good that the President calls upon Moi from time to time to seek out my management advice. Anywho, I start this job with passion, strength, professionalism, and above all else self respect. Moi was working under the supervision of a man that was 20 years older then Moi. He was experienced in his career, had the respect of the staff, colleagues, and other business professionals. He was strikingly handsome, had a boyish charm, a little salt & pepper at his temples starting, and was married with a family of 4.
“The Boss Man” asked to meet me for a dinner meeting one night. When I arrived at the restaurant and took a seat at the bar, I was approached by a host who was told to give me a certain envelope. Inside it was a room key. And a note that read: Divine Man, show me just how divine you really are! It was signed “The Boss”
Well naturally being the super sleuth Moi is, I hurried along to gather all the right information I needed to put this slime ball in his place. Like making sure his wife was on speed dial, made sure I got a copy of the room reservation with his signature, new batteries for my hand held recorder and bought a fresh tube of caramel flavored lip gloss.
Let’s just say this, that night Moi brought a whole new meaning to the phrase “pig on a stick.”
Now, I am not saying to blackmail your boss, heavens no, but what I am saying is: you are smart, resourceful, and professional. Imagine if this was your daughter or son, what would you tell them to do? You need to look at this situation objectively and gauge how much you value your job, but really how much you value your morals and ethics. Your boss sexually harassed you on the job. Most likely there are other men, ex male employees that left for the same reason, because like Moi always says “where there is a crumb, there is a trail-all need to do is follow it.”
Or you can do nothing, and see how it plays out.
Keep it professional, make sure you are never alone with her. And do not communicate outside of the office.
Most likely she will not approach the topic with you, for fear that you could spill the beans, let her think you might. Or won’t. You need to regain control of your position. I would like to know how this plays out. And if Moi can help more, I am only a click away.
Divine Man
I am a 25 year old male, professional who respects others, minds my own business, always goes above and beyond the call of duty, the extra mile at work and in life.
A few days ago, while I was finishing up a long day at work(it was about 8pm) and I was getting ready to leave, everyone else had left a few hours before. My boss came in (my boss is a female) wearing a black cocktail dress and heels. She seemed rather happy, giddy, and walked up to me and said: Oh I am so, so happy you are here late tonight! You see after leaving the wine bar, I realized that my zipper(as she slowly turns around) is stuck and I need to get out of this dress. Could you help me with this?
I told her I was not any good with zippers on dresses and that I was late for a dinner meeting. She turned around in a furry and grabbed my face and pressed her lips on mine. I pulled back and grabbed my coat and ran out the back door.
What should I do? Do I report this? And to who? The boss happens to be the owner of the company. Or should I just quit my job, that I am really dam good at, and love?
Kissed by the Boss.
Hello, Kissed by the Boss!
Well Moi does declare…even Moi has never been in that position. I have been in a few others, but never that one. I have been pondering my divine thoughts, searching my golden rolodex of opinions and advice!
Let me tell you a story Kissed.
Many moons ago, Moi was offered a position in management. Which Moi is dam good at, infact Moi is do dam good that the President calls upon Moi from time to time to seek out my management advice. Anywho, I start this job with passion, strength, professionalism, and above all else self respect. Moi was working under the supervision of a man that was 20 years older then Moi. He was experienced in his career, had the respect of the staff, colleagues, and other business professionals. He was strikingly handsome, had a boyish charm, a little salt & pepper at his temples starting, and was married with a family of 4.
“The Boss Man” asked to meet me for a dinner meeting one night. When I arrived at the restaurant and took a seat at the bar, I was approached by a host who was told to give me a certain envelope. Inside it was a room key. And a note that read: Divine Man, show me just how divine you really are! It was signed “The Boss”
Well naturally being the super sleuth Moi is, I hurried along to gather all the right information I needed to put this slime ball in his place. Like making sure his wife was on speed dial, made sure I got a copy of the room reservation with his signature, new batteries for my hand held recorder and bought a fresh tube of caramel flavored lip gloss.
Let’s just say this, that night Moi brought a whole new meaning to the phrase “pig on a stick.”
Now, I am not saying to blackmail your boss, heavens no, but what I am saying is: you are smart, resourceful, and professional. Imagine if this was your daughter or son, what would you tell them to do? You need to look at this situation objectively and gauge how much you value your job, but really how much you value your morals and ethics. Your boss sexually harassed you on the job. Most likely there are other men, ex male employees that left for the same reason, because like Moi always says “where there is a crumb, there is a trail-all need to do is follow it.”
Or you can do nothing, and see how it plays out.
Keep it professional, make sure you are never alone with her. And do not communicate outside of the office.
Most likely she will not approach the topic with you, for fear that you could spill the beans, let her think you might. Or won’t. You need to regain control of your position. I would like to know how this plays out. And if Moi can help more, I am only a click away.
Divine Man
Monday, July 18, 2011
The Misadventures Of A Divine Man!: A Bistro With Personality: Friar Tuck's
The Misadventures Of A Divine Man!: A Bistro With Personality: Friar Tuck's: "So Moi is walking along minding my OWN business somewhere in the Midwest, somewhere like Fond du Lac, WI(where no one knows me) of all plac..."
A Bistro With Personality: Friar Tuck's
So Moi is walking along minding my OWN business somewhere in the Midwest, somewhere like Fond du Lac, WI(where no one knows me) of all places, when naturally someone asks Moi for a photo. Brady, Diva Girl and Moi are here for a summer lay-over, and will be in the area for a few weeks, ok maybe more like 2 months. There is not much here so far, but…there are always a few really excellent local establishments for dining here, believe it or not. And so far, Moi has not been recognized, thus far. Anywho…
There is the local place called Friar Tucks, it is a dimly lit bistro that resembles the inside of a wine barrel(one of Moi’s fav places) from Sherwood Forest, minus Robin Hood in his tights! But alas, it is a bistro with sandwiches of massive proportions, Moi always fares the “SUB” with the side of mayo, onion, and toasted with melted REAL WISCONSIN CHEESE. Happy Cows, Come From WISCONSIN!!!
Anywho, Moi has enjoyed more then one entrée at Friar Tuck’s, infact Moi has flown in friends from all over the world as of late to come and experience the fabulous, memorizing, and pristine Christine! She has been working there for…well many years shall we say. She takes your order, memorizes it, even when she has a table of 15, 20 etc…
If you want to experience a Diva Waitress without an attitude then you need to hit Friar Tuck’s in FDL, WI and ask for Chris! She will deliver the goods with a freshness of spunk, realism, a twist of sultriness, and the food itself is so delightful with it’s many layers of orgasmic pleasure, bite by bite.
This one time in band camp, Moi ordered FT’s for everyone, and it was explosive as if there were fireworks in my mouth, the taste, the texture and the flavor was out of this world.
Make a stop, make it a trip to…
Friar Tuck’s
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There is the local place called Friar Tucks, it is a dimly lit bistro that resembles the inside of a wine barrel(one of Moi’s fav places) from Sherwood Forest, minus Robin Hood in his tights! But alas, it is a bistro with sandwiches of massive proportions, Moi always fares the “SUB” with the side of mayo, onion, and toasted with melted REAL WISCONSIN CHEESE. Happy Cows, Come From WISCONSIN!!!
Anywho, Moi has enjoyed more then one entrée at Friar Tuck’s, infact Moi has flown in friends from all over the world as of late to come and experience the fabulous, memorizing, and pristine Christine! She has been working there for…well many years shall we say. She takes your order, memorizes it, even when she has a table of 15, 20 etc…
If you want to experience a Diva Waitress without an attitude then you need to hit Friar Tuck’s in FDL, WI and ask for Chris! She will deliver the goods with a freshness of spunk, realism, a twist of sultriness, and the food itself is so delightful with it’s many layers of orgasmic pleasure, bite by bite.
This one time in band camp, Moi ordered FT’s for everyone, and it was explosive as if there were fireworks in my mouth, the taste, the texture and the flavor was out of this world.
Make a stop, make it a trip to…
Friar Tuck’s
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Crashing Through Life, Intoxicated
When does life go from easy, playful, innocent fun where we have no worries to turning into an existence of intoxication?
When really does that happen? Is it when we reach puberty? Turn 13, or maybe 16 or 18? Perhaps it happens when we are even younger, like at 4 years old? Or when we are 23, and life is good. You just graduated college, have been offered the job of a lifetime, got your first apartment, and have met the love of your life.
But in one sharp fast second everything changes. Forever. You and your other half are driving home from going out for dinner and seeing a movie when a SUV comes crashing into your car, glass is flying, ripping into your flesh, blood is flowing, all you hear is screams and cries of pain, fear and panic.
The driver of the SUV was intoxicated, she claimed she never saw the car. Imagine that, what a shock that is? It turns out the female driver is a mother of one, and a business owner. Which raises the question: why was she intoxicated? And why was she behind the wheel? She has what others can only dream of, and she just drinks it away.
Because she is addicted to alcohol, she loves the bottle far more then she loves her life, or the lives of her children and has no respect for the safety of others. That is an addict.
I am sure we all have known or know an addict. Moi has known a few people, relatives, friends, and acquaintances. Experts say it is an illness, a disease, others feel it is a choice that one makes about their life.
The two people in the car, well one barely survived, and the other person spent 9 months in a coma. To this day, the drunk driver is still out there doing what she does best, drinking.
Tell me this…why is she driving, and why is she a mother?
When really does that happen? Is it when we reach puberty? Turn 13, or maybe 16 or 18? Perhaps it happens when we are even younger, like at 4 years old? Or when we are 23, and life is good. You just graduated college, have been offered the job of a lifetime, got your first apartment, and have met the love of your life.
But in one sharp fast second everything changes. Forever. You and your other half are driving home from going out for dinner and seeing a movie when a SUV comes crashing into your car, glass is flying, ripping into your flesh, blood is flowing, all you hear is screams and cries of pain, fear and panic.
The driver of the SUV was intoxicated, she claimed she never saw the car. Imagine that, what a shock that is? It turns out the female driver is a mother of one, and a business owner. Which raises the question: why was she intoxicated? And why was she behind the wheel? She has what others can only dream of, and she just drinks it away.
Because she is addicted to alcohol, she loves the bottle far more then she loves her life, or the lives of her children and has no respect for the safety of others. That is an addict.
I am sure we all have known or know an addict. Moi has known a few people, relatives, friends, and acquaintances. Experts say it is an illness, a disease, others feel it is a choice that one makes about their life.
The two people in the car, well one barely survived, and the other person spent 9 months in a coma. To this day, the drunk driver is still out there doing what she does best, drinking.
Tell me this…why is she driving, and why is she a mother?
Friday, July 8, 2011
Fireworks In The Cabin Of Naked Love 2
Standing before us was 7 little men(little people, dwarfs) and as we stood there in total shock just looking at them and then at each other thinking “what in the hell is this? The Fairest One Of All-The Live Action Version?
Each one of them were covered, or at least most of their bodies/parts were covered with leaves, some big, some not so big, one even had acorns hanging from a rather comically placed leaf! HAHAHA!
They simultaneously announced themselves as “Seven Shorties, Of Seven Hills, Of Seven Delights!”
They told Moi they had heard of my possible arrival to their neck of the woods and wanted desperately to meet Moi and get my John Hancock!
Well as you can imagine, Moi was just so flattered and freaked out all at the same time! I mean men have desired this temple of perfectness, women have chased it, kissed it, but never have there been 7 little men all wanting Moi in a cabin, in the woods! I mean, what are the insane chances of all these little men gathering from across the meadows, the rivers, the hills and the forests full of wonder?
From that point on, the shorties were at my beck and call. They set up camp nearby outside, preparing meals, hot spring bathes, massages, and entertainment.
Size is not everything, it helps, but it can surprise you!
Each one of them were covered, or at least most of their bodies/parts were covered with leaves, some big, some not so big, one even had acorns hanging from a rather comically placed leaf! HAHAHA!
They simultaneously announced themselves as “Seven Shorties, Of Seven Hills, Of Seven Delights!”
They told Moi they had heard of my possible arrival to their neck of the woods and wanted desperately to meet Moi and get my John Hancock!
Well as you can imagine, Moi was just so flattered and freaked out all at the same time! I mean men have desired this temple of perfectness, women have chased it, kissed it, but never have there been 7 little men all wanting Moi in a cabin, in the woods! I mean, what are the insane chances of all these little men gathering from across the meadows, the rivers, the hills and the forests full of wonder?
From that point on, the shorties were at my beck and call. They set up camp nearby outside, preparing meals, hot spring bathes, massages, and entertainment.
Size is not everything, it helps, but it can surprise you!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Fireworks In The Cabin Of Naked Love!
Wow what a long holiday weekend that was? Moi’s weekend started Thursday with the enjoyment of good company, great food and even better martini’s.
On Friday afternoon, Brady, Diva Girl and Moi all packed into the white limo and headed out for the woods, where we would relax, grill out, hike, drink and be merry for 3 days! Moi had discovered this cute cabin that was erected on a hilltop in the middle of the great forest. It had all the amenities that Moi likes: A full bathroom with a lovely view of the great outdoors, a fireplace in case we got chilled, a full bar, gourmet kitchen, a pillow top Queen sized bed, fit for…well…a Queen! And a very private deck with a Jacuzzi! How much better can it get?
As I explored the cabin, I discovered a secret panel in the floor, as I pushed on it a trap door began to open and provided us with a staircase that led to another level underneath the cabin. As we fumbled for lights, Moi felt something hanging next to Moi and thought “maybe I should give it a pull and see what pops up?” With one nice yank of the what seemed to be a very large tassel, one by one all these flickering like candle-lites started to radiate the space and as our eyes adjusted we were shocked at what we saw…
The floor was green marble, that shined like glass, there was 1,2, 3, 4 gold chandeliers with crystals that danced in merriment, beautiful red velvet kidney bean shaped sofas, an ornate wood round cocktail table in the center of the room, a full bar off to the left, the walls appeared to be golden with a red flocked pattern and long flowing red velvet drapes that opened up to reveal a master suite, even more stunning then the main room.
Once inside the suite, Moi and Brady soon discovered all kinds of treasures. In one highboy dresser, I found myself starring at what must have been hundreds of vibrators with a look of shock, delight and surprise on my perfect face! We had hit the jack pot, the mother lode! Not only were there all these vibrators, but there were jellies, oils, creams, ropes, feathers, paddles, chains, and over to the right corner was this particular swing of sorts. Well Moi and Brady were wondering why there would be a swing in the midst of all this sex stuff? Brady found an instruction book, it was titled “How to Swing into Great Love Making.”
Moi and Brady decided we needed time to absorb our shocking discovery, and so we retreated back upstairs where we were stunned, just so stunned to find what we saw standing in the middle of the cabin great room!
To Be Continued…
On Friday afternoon, Brady, Diva Girl and Moi all packed into the white limo and headed out for the woods, where we would relax, grill out, hike, drink and be merry for 3 days! Moi had discovered this cute cabin that was erected on a hilltop in the middle of the great forest. It had all the amenities that Moi likes: A full bathroom with a lovely view of the great outdoors, a fireplace in case we got chilled, a full bar, gourmet kitchen, a pillow top Queen sized bed, fit for…well…a Queen! And a very private deck with a Jacuzzi! How much better can it get?
As I explored the cabin, I discovered a secret panel in the floor, as I pushed on it a trap door began to open and provided us with a staircase that led to another level underneath the cabin. As we fumbled for lights, Moi felt something hanging next to Moi and thought “maybe I should give it a pull and see what pops up?” With one nice yank of the what seemed to be a very large tassel, one by one all these flickering like candle-lites started to radiate the space and as our eyes adjusted we were shocked at what we saw…
The floor was green marble, that shined like glass, there was 1,2, 3, 4 gold chandeliers with crystals that danced in merriment, beautiful red velvet kidney bean shaped sofas, an ornate wood round cocktail table in the center of the room, a full bar off to the left, the walls appeared to be golden with a red flocked pattern and long flowing red velvet drapes that opened up to reveal a master suite, even more stunning then the main room.
Once inside the suite, Moi and Brady soon discovered all kinds of treasures. In one highboy dresser, I found myself starring at what must have been hundreds of vibrators with a look of shock, delight and surprise on my perfect face! We had hit the jack pot, the mother lode! Not only were there all these vibrators, but there were jellies, oils, creams, ropes, feathers, paddles, chains, and over to the right corner was this particular swing of sorts. Well Moi and Brady were wondering why there would be a swing in the midst of all this sex stuff? Brady found an instruction book, it was titled “How to Swing into Great Love Making.”
Moi and Brady decided we needed time to absorb our shocking discovery, and so we retreated back upstairs where we were stunned, just so stunned to find what we saw standing in the middle of the cabin great room!
To Be Continued…
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