Kissed By The Boss

Dear Divine Man,

I am a 25 year old male, professional who respects others, minds my own business, always goes above and beyond the call of duty, the extra mile at work and in life.

A few days ago, while I was finishing up a long day at work(it was about 8pm) and I was getting ready to leave, everyone else had left a few hours before. My boss came in (my boss is a female) wearing a black cocktail dress and heels. She seemed rather happy, giddy, and walked up to me and said: Oh I am so, so happy you are here late tonight! You see after leaving the wine bar, I realized that my zipper(as she slowly turns around) is stuck and I need to get out of this dress. Could you help me with this?

I told her I was not any good with zippers on dresses and that I was late for a dinner meeting. She turned around in a furry and grabbed my face and pressed her lips on mine. I pulled back and grabbed my coat and ran out the back door.

What should I do? Do I report this? And to who? The boss happens to be the owner of the company. Or should I just quit my job, that I am really dam good at, and love?
　
Kissed by the Boss.
　
　
Hello, Kissed by the Boss!

Well Moi does declare…even Moi has never been in that position. I have been in a few others, but never that one. I have been pondering my divine thoughts, searching my golden rolodex of opinions and advice!

Let me tell you a story Kissed.

Many moons ago, Moi was offered a position in management. Which Moi is dam good at, infact Moi is do dam good that the President calls upon Moi from time to time to seek out my management advice. Anywho, I start this job with passion, strength, professionalism, and above all else self respect. Moi was working under the supervision of a man that was 20 years older then Moi. He was experienced in his career, had the respect of the staff, colleagues, and other business professionals. He was strikingly handsome, had a boyish charm, a little salt & pepper at his temples starting, and was married with a family of 4.

“The Boss Man” asked to meet me for a dinner meeting one night. When I arrived at the restaurant and took a seat at the bar, I was approached by a host who was told to give me a certain envelope. Inside it was a room key. And a note that read: Divine Man, show me just how divine you really are! It was signed “The Boss”

Well naturally being the super sleuth Moi is, I hurried along to gather all the right information I needed to put this slime ball in his place. Like making sure his wife was on speed dial, made sure I got a copy of the room reservation with his signature, new batteries for my hand held recorder and bought a fresh tube of caramel flavored lip gloss.

Let’s just say this, that night Moi brought a whole new meaning to the phrase “pig on a stick.”
Now, I am not saying to blackmail your boss, heavens no, but what I am saying is: you are smart, resourceful, and professional. Imagine if this was your daughter or son, what would you tell them to do? You need to look at this situation objectively and gauge how much you value your job, but really how much you value your morals and ethics. Your boss sexually harassed you on the job. Most likely there are other men, ex male employees that left for the same reason, because like Moi always says “where there is a crumb, there is a trail-all need to do is follow it.”

Or you can do nothing, and see how it plays out.

Keep it professional, make sure you are never alone with her. And do not communicate outside of the office.

Most likely she will not approach the topic with you, for fear that you could spill the beans, let her think you might. Or won’t. You need to regain control of your position. I would like to know how this plays out. And if Moi can help more, I am only a click away.

Divine Man