Moi is not sure if it was all the excitement of celebrating my 1st Anniversary of “The Misadventures Of A Divine Man” last Friday, or if it was just simply one of the worst cases of Diarrhea known to man kind?
From the moment I fluttered my baby blues open until late afternoon I spent most of the day on the porcelain throne. The shitter, the poop pot, the hershey home, you get my point, right? Anyways, Moi ran to the bathroom many, many time. So many times that I was literally “pooped out” when all was said and done, and flushed!
No one at my “surprise” Anniversary Dinner knew what I had been through all day. No one knew my booty was sore, and that my booty was dragging. For I held it all together as I always do. As you know the show must go on.
I wore a red satin suit with a black boa, and of course my famous and infamous white Jackie-O’s! I was smashing, simply smashing. There must have been hundreds of people gathered awaiting my arrival. Hundreds of fans, friends and family all gathered there for me. Each of them held a white or a red rose in one hand, and in the other, something that was special to them for Moi to autograph.
Once the opening speeches were made, the toasts were shared, the laughs began, the tears flew, that is when the martini’s appeared! Moi just loves a good stiff one or two.
The menu consisted of Nachos, Pico Shrimp, Zesty Wings, Artichoke Dip, Cheesecake Squares, Soup, Steak Ala Divine and a few other sides. Moi was unable to eat certain items for fear of recapturing the shits again. Regardless though, Moi could not help but enjoy a few bites.
The evening concluded with hugs, congrats, kisses, lots and lots of pictures and well-wishes.
It wasn’t until Moi got home later that night, that I spent the night on the throne, being awakened by the pressure building from inside and the those old familiar pains that can only mean one thing, like a blast from the past, it blew like Mt. Saint Helens all over again!
Even when you think your life is the shits, it is then that you need to rise to the occasion and let the world know just how divine you are!
No comments:
Post a Comment