Recently Moi here went on a blind date, only to find out that the “date” was actually blind. Really? Really? I mean what are the chances of that happening to Moi? A few days later I went on a date with someone that I had met online, spoke on the phone with numerous times and he suggested with meet at my favorite bistro for dinner. Moi of course thought “ like ok, I guess we can just meet there…
He did tell me he had his own wheels, so oh well. Moi arrives looking sexy, confident, and showing just enough of my ever so flawless skin. I tell the host that I am meeting someone and he tells me to follow him. As I follow Harry(the host) to an empty table I see that there is a dirty martini waiting for my perky lips to suck on. I am excited at the thought that “he” planned this. Impressive. A few minutes go by and I am sitting there enjoying my martini, when a very handsome man comes rolling up to me(in an electric scooter) and says to Moi: Good Evening you stunningly gorgeous creature! How is your martini?
Well Moi is stunned, just stunned, I mean when he said he had his own wheels, he was not fooling around. As he pulls in, Harry comes over and asks if he was ready for his libation? He answered with a firm YES. Moi chimes in and orders an even dirtier martini.
The evening was great, the conversation was full of laughs and intelligence. Eventually he approaches the “talk” about his “wheels” and what put him in the chair. It is a sad story…He was at a ever so crowded dance club, it was packed back to back. He and his friends were having a blast, all was great, the music was pumping, the drinks were flowing, and the phone numbers were flying! And just as the music got a little faster there was a bunch of loud nose, screaming and the sounds of metal shattering through the air. It happened so fast, the balcony above his was ripping away from the wall high above. Everyone looked up and starting running, pushing people to get out, he was tripped to the floor, In what seemed like a fast half a second he looked up and saw this big black darkness coming towards him. All went dark. When he regained consciousness, there were paramedics all around him, he had a air mask on his face, and they were trying to lift a 400 pound black woman off of his legs. Sadly to say, she was only bruised, he had broken her fall. But his legs were smashed. His legs had been smashed by a 400 pound woman. He would never walk again.
Another recent date I accepted was by someone I met online, again. Now I know agreeing to meet someone online is risky, so that is why I asked for a picture. He sent me a pic of himself, he seemed rather tall and attractive. He told me in an email that he would make a reservation at wherever I wanted to dine. He said his friends called him “Big.” I choose one of my fav places to dine: Guppy’s. I arrived early and told the host(Buzz) who I was meeting for dinner. He directed to the table and to my surprise there was a booster seat waiting on one of the seats. I thought to my divine self…maybe he has a kid? I only hope the kid is sedated!
Shortly after my arrival, I hear a soft and sexy spoken man’s voice from behind me saying…my, my ,my, you are even more divine in person! It seemed to be coming from below me almost. I turned slightly to the left and saw this short man standing there with roses. Not only was he short, but he was little, I mean a LITTLE MAN, a hobbit, a dwarf, a munchkin!
As they say, sometimes size does matter. And sometimes it is not how big the package is, it is what is inside that counts!
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