Time Heals....The Coma

They say time heals all wounds.  I think whomever said that was either referring to a broken toe or a hangover.

As I lay here in this coma, I wonder if anyone can see my tears, or if one does not dry in a coma?

I have been heartbroken, my walls have crumbled around me, I have been to hell and back, but I have never felt such an emptiness inside of me as I feel now.  I have never felt such grief, loss, and sorrow as I have since I had to say goodbye to my sweet angel Iris.

Since being in this coma I have had time...all the time in the world to try and heal from the inside.  However I do not think I have?  Perhaps time has stopped for me, but not for the rest of the world.  Perhaps when I do wake up, if I ever do, everything will be as it was for me so many months ago.  Maybe I will not remember what I have learned from all the lying cheating people that have walked into my hospital room.

Not only have I learned of lies of deceit, but I have also learned that there are people that are cheating on the spouses, want a divorce, are fighting depression, HIV, Cancer, feeling broken, people that have lost hope in humanity, that simply wish to end their life.  Or the guy that is bored with his marriage, but yet has to cheat. Or the female that feels undesired, or the friend whose husband fled the country to seek refuge from the law.  To learn that another dear friend(a male) is in love with a man that is "straight" and another gf that is yearning for love in all the wrong places.

Does time ever truly heal all wounds?

The Mystery Man of Silence....The Coma

I don't know his name,

He has been coming to see me, sit with me while I lay here in this coma. This long lingering god forsaken coma.  He does not really talk to me much, but he does hold my hand, rub my shoulders, and I can feel the warmth of his heart, his compassion. His silence is comforting.  You see everyone that comes to see me and visit my lifeless body explodes with either loud sobs, wild emotional outbursts or feels the need to unburden themselves by revealing truths.

So whoever this mystery man is....he is refreshing.

I have been praying and hoping that both Brady and his twin never come back here again.  And that when I wake up they stay far away.  How could he, how could he have lied to me for so many years about so many things and think the truth would never come out.  The truth always comes out.

While I have had all the time in the world to think about my life...how it was before, my darling diva girl, Having to make the decision to end her suffering.  Being able to hopefully find peace in that, to not take people for granted, hugging those I care and love more....often.  To really fighting to make my dreams become reality.  To maybe even meeting someone actually honest to get to know, become friends, and fall in love with.

I have regrets, yes even Divine Man has regrets.  If I could only go back.  If only I could awaken and start over.

Lies, All Lies.....

So here I am… in this dam coma.

Its been weeks, maybe months… I should say my parents have been with me day and night.  Funny how  it is….I was thousands of miles from them when I lost my Dive Girl Iris.

I have been in this coma like state since late November 2014.   People come and go.  They visit me, they talk to me. 

This unknown man decided to visit my hospital room.   He initially introduced himself as Bryce.  Brady’s identical twin brother.  He sat there for what seemed hours…then I guess walked in Brady.  Brady and Bryce started to argue and yell, scream about me, about Brady’s secret life, his wife, his kids. 

I am trying to move every single inch of my dead body. 

So as I lay there Brady tries to explain and hide his lies, his infidelity, his eternal lies of desperation. 

So I find myself in love with 2…twins, identical twins.  Brady and Bryce.

As I lay there in a coma, I listen to the unfolding information…  I try to move my fingers one at a time…  my hands….  My arms are lifeless…

Brady and Bryce continue to yell at each other about how each of them are better suited for me. 

“Can I say something…guys I am here ….It’s me….Divine Man.  I am here just wake me up.  One of you. 

It’s like love’s true kiss. Like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty… Someone kisssssssss…. Meeeeeeeeeeeee.

They stand there yelling and screaming at each other about how he…..Brady lied….  Lied about what?  Thank God I am in a coma….   So Brady….What did you lie about?  Yet again?    

Brady…Why have you never told Him the truth…  The truth about your wife Kayla.  The fact that you are still married legally to  her, and you intend to stay, to remain that way forever.  Why can’t you let HIM go, let HIM be happy ,find happiness?

What is your problem, you sick twisted fucker?  How could you do this to him, better yet I should have never have done this to him..  At the time I thought I was helping you….like I always did, helping you out of your sick situations.   

The Misadventures Of A Divine Man!: The Coma-Chapter 1

The Misadventures Of A Divine Man!: The Coma-Chapter 1: As I lay here with all the time in the world to think, ponder my thoughts, my feelings of what Brady has shared with me while laying here h...

The Coma-Chapter 1

As I lay here with all the time in the world to think, ponder my thoughts, my feelings of what Brady has shared with me while laying here helpless.  I am still in shock, I am hurt, extremely angry that he sent his identical twin brother, Bryce to meet me that very first weekend!  I have felt used and thrown away like trash but this trumps all of that.  I feel dirty and betrayed.  I was a whore and I did not even know it. 

So I ask myself over and over again, why?  Why would he lie about having a twin brother? Did I mention an identical twin brother?  I just cannot wrap my mind around his motive for doing such a despicable thing to me? To anyone? And if he could lie to me about that- then what else is he lying to me about?

My thoughts are disrupted by my Mother and Father, and what sounds like a number of people. 

One by one each of my dear friends come to my bedside and sit down and touch my face, my hair, hold my hands.  Tell me why is it even in a coma people think I want them to touch my hair?  As if!

Anywho…

First my dear sweet friend Jolene aka The Glam Clam!  Wow how sweet of her to fly in from the Midwest to Paradise to come see me! 

Next is my dear funny and ever loving free spirited gal pal MiMi!  And her crazy Sister, but in a good kind of crazy way….Constance.

Third in line is my favorite costume tailor and sexy ex Lionel aka La Riv and his super sexy wifey who is always full of smiles and kisses for Moi!  

Next is my friend Maryanne.  Now Maryanne is very sweet, has a very big heart, a soft spot for yours truly, yet she always seems to cry when she is around me, just like she is again.  Now I understand why she cries when with me, I mean who wouldn’t….I mean just the thought of being in my company is enough to make you cry! 

I wonder who else they brought.  Did they rent a private jet or a bus? 

They all decide to take shifts sitting with me, hoping and praying that I would open my baby blues.

The Misadventures Of A Divine Man!: The Coma, Chapter 1 Continues....

The Misadventures Of A Divine Man!: The Coma, Chapter 1 Continues....: The next day brought my oldest (did I mention oldest) dearest friend, on again off again paramour and confidant…the one….thee only….Brady. ...

The Coma, Chapter 1 Continues....

The next day brought my oldest (did I mention oldest) dearest friend, on again off again paramour and confidant…the one….thee only….Brady.

You all are likely wondering where was he when I was being struck by that rather large branch in the midst of that wild storm?  I am glad you asked…. He was helping himself to my plush penthouse, indulging himself to my fine box wines, black and white label caviar, and my private stash of clove cigars.

Typical, so typical of a man.

Anywho, at least he is here now. Oh did I mention he was in my summer penthouse in the Midwest? Yeah not here in Paradise.  So in all fairness he did have to take the red eye out to get here.

After a long conversation with Tulips and Big Daddy, he sits down as they go to my paradise penthouse for some much needed rest.  I love my parents, however I can only imagine how rough they look after being here for what could be 24, 48 hours or more? As I have no real sense of time.  All I know is what day it was when I went on that fateful walk.

There we are, me lying there comatose, praying that Tulips made me presentable, and hoping that he can bring me out of this!  If anyone can, I would think it would be him.

Brady starts talking about how HE NEEDS Moi to wake up!  How he is so deeply sorry for not being there that day and has not slept a minute since he got called from my parents.  He proceeds to share with me that he cannot imagine a world in which I am not awake, laughing, being the center of attention at all the glamorous parties, glistening in the sun, smiling and signing autographs…

He then gets real serious.  Divine Man….I need to tell you something, something I should have told you when we first met via penpalsforlife.com.  However I truly never thought we would meet ever, given the fact that you…well….are simply so divine.  But then we did meet.  And I have been harboring a secret from you and the rest of the world. 

This is so hard for me to say this….but…well here goes… I ….am….I have an identical twin brother.  And you need to know EVERYTHING about us is identical….right down to our….

OMFG!!!!!

I cannot believe what I am hearing.  After almost 20 years, he decides to tell me now! WTF!!!!!  Really?  As I lay there I try and try to move my hand …..More importantly I try to give him the “bird” but to no avail. 

He continues his story….

His identical twin is named Bryce. He tells me about Bryce, his existence and that I have met him on many occasions when Brady himself could not be present.  Like the night we had arranged to meet for the first time in person.  

And what a night that was, actually it was a weekend!