Divine Man wishes you all a very happy new year! Moi hopes you end 2011 without regrets, without fear in your heart, feelings of despair, or sadness. Always know you are never really alone, not even at midnight tonight wherever you are. Enter 2012 making memories that will last a lifetime! Let true love in, make your dreams comes true, never ever give up. And make sure you stop and smell the roses along the way, because one day your sniffer won't be able to sniff and you will wonder ....why? why did I not enjoy it more?
Live life with no regrets!
Happy New Year, 2012!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Holiday Traditions: Rocky's, Sausages and Boozie Woozie's!
Every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas Moi and Co. have traditions that are a must to experience! I feel it is greatly important have them, whether that be 1 or 20!
Here are some of mine:
Tulips and Moi always have an evening of shopping and Rocky Rococo Pizza. We only do this in December. We shop, laugh, eat, shop, laugh…
Every year the week leading up to Christmas, Big Daddy, the Bro, and Moi get together to make home-made stuffed Italian sausages. We have a grinder, have fresh casings. Can you imagine Moi stuffing those big, plump, and juicy sausages? It is a trip! Big Daddy has been doing this since he was a child with his Dad and Co.
Each year Moi watches: Santa Clause, The Movie.
Of course no holiday would be as merry without the proper libations…
Egg Nog
Tom n’ Jerry’s
Butter Balls
It is a must to drive through the local park to see all the lovely holiday lights and displays.
After which we go to the Eagles Club and try to win the “Boozie Woozie”
Moi has had a lot of wonderful memories of Christmas pasts, and some not so good ones as well, but one thing always remains true…family, love, laughter, and great food!
Happy Holidays!
Here are some of mine:
Tulips and Moi always have an evening of shopping and Rocky Rococo Pizza. We only do this in December. We shop, laugh, eat, shop, laugh…
Every year the week leading up to Christmas, Big Daddy, the Bro, and Moi get together to make home-made stuffed Italian sausages. We have a grinder, have fresh casings. Can you imagine Moi stuffing those big, plump, and juicy sausages? It is a trip! Big Daddy has been doing this since he was a child with his Dad and Co.
Each year Moi watches: Santa Clause, The Movie.
Of course no holiday would be as merry without the proper libations…
Egg Nog
Tom n’ Jerry’s
Butter Balls
It is a must to drive through the local park to see all the lovely holiday lights and displays.
After which we go to the Eagles Club and try to win the “Boozie Woozie”
Moi has had a lot of wonderful memories of Christmas pasts, and some not so good ones as well, but one thing always remains true…family, love, laughter, and great food!
Happy Holidays!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
What Is The Meaning Of Christmas?
Recently Moi was challenged by someone who feels compelled to make Moi feel as if I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THE REAL MEANING OF CHRISTMAS IS.
Divine Man knows very well what the meaning of Christmas is. Let me tell you what I know.
I may not have all of my childhood memories due to a very tragic situation that left me numb for years, but I recall one December as a child and I was standing on the stage of the lower level of the church my family has attended since Tulips and Big Daddy were wed. Anywho, I remember standing up on that stage under the burning bright lights with more then 30 kids that were suppose to be singing “Away In The Manger,” well it seemed that a group effort soon became a solo for Moi! I stood there proud and sang my little heart out. My Mom and Dad were in the audience and sat there with love and pride in their hearts. Love.
My parents have worked very very hard for what they have. They might not be wealthy with millions of dollars, or a mansion in the Hollywood Hills but are the riches people I know. My parents have always wanted my bro and I to know that we are loved. I don’t know of any other Mom that displays this in all she does. Always thinking of others, creating joy, smiles and leaving imprints on the hearts of those she touches. Big Daddy is an entertainer in his own right. Yeah he can be crude, and then some, but he has always made sure that we had a home, clothes, food and security. Under his hard shell is a soft center.
Again, Love.
Over the past days Moi has taken to the streets, the stores and even to the gas station…and has repeatedly asked this question: What is the meaning of Christmas?
I was told the following:
It is about sharing the day with those you love and cherish. This came from an elderly man.
Prayer. To celebrate real unconditional sacrifice. To remember what we have. This came from 2 Nuns.
Making new memories and new traditions. A Bus Driver with a family shared this with Moi.
Giving to those that can not do so for themselves. A teenage girl told me that she volunteers during December at shelters.
Helping people realize what they are worth. An HR Manager.
The spirit of the season is about Love, Giving, Hope, Sacrifice, Celebration, Being Together, Knowing that each of us is here for an individual purpose. Spoken by a Pastor.
After listening and collecting these feelings, opinions and comments I decided to look to my roots and asked Tulips what she felt: She shared with me the following:
Getting together with family and friends, love, I bake special cookies, desserts that I give out to others on plates(that I know will appreciate that simple act of kindness) I also enjoy giving to others things such as gifts to my family and those I love and care about, even you Brady.
Celebrating the spirit in church on Christmas Eve singing ballads and carols. Knowing that everyone has someone to love, people to surprise and shock. Everyone has their own ideas of what this holiday means. Everything I do is because I love those around me. I simply like to give, because one day I will not be here, and until then I want to make memories, smiles and excitement.
Everything that Moi has been told is all true. Christmas is what you as a person makes of it. If you want to be a Scrooge, then so be it, but don’t belittle what others do or how they express what they feel.
Or perhaps you have no family, or because of some unfortunate circumstances you are separated from your family and friends, such as those overseas in the military, or the homeless, those in the hospital, or grieving at a funeral, or because you choose to simply be an ass. Or maybe you are with your family and others you care about and celebrate in whatever fashion you decide to do it in. Who am I to say what it right and what is wrong? Who Are You, who is anyone to say?
So if this season is about Love, Sharing, Giving, Family and Beliefs …then live that. Show it, be it. Think of what others want in their heart, and not about what you only want. Compromise. Work together, instead of against each other like so many do.
Think about it. Love seems to be the common thread we all share.
Moi has a wish this holiday season…that my Godfather receives the miracle of the season, positive health…that those I love can all share in the magic together…to just be able to wake up on the 25th with my Diva Girl, Brady, Tulips, Big Daddy, his “boys” and “the little family.”
That is all I want. I don’t need gifts, material objects, I want and need those I love with me.
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, or whatever you celebrate!
Divine Man knows very well what the meaning of Christmas is. Let me tell you what I know.
I may not have all of my childhood memories due to a very tragic situation that left me numb for years, but I recall one December as a child and I was standing on the stage of the lower level of the church my family has attended since Tulips and Big Daddy were wed. Anywho, I remember standing up on that stage under the burning bright lights with more then 30 kids that were suppose to be singing “Away In The Manger,” well it seemed that a group effort soon became a solo for Moi! I stood there proud and sang my little heart out. My Mom and Dad were in the audience and sat there with love and pride in their hearts. Love.
My parents have worked very very hard for what they have. They might not be wealthy with millions of dollars, or a mansion in the Hollywood Hills but are the riches people I know. My parents have always wanted my bro and I to know that we are loved. I don’t know of any other Mom that displays this in all she does. Always thinking of others, creating joy, smiles and leaving imprints on the hearts of those she touches. Big Daddy is an entertainer in his own right. Yeah he can be crude, and then some, but he has always made sure that we had a home, clothes, food and security. Under his hard shell is a soft center.
Again, Love.
Over the past days Moi has taken to the streets, the stores and even to the gas station…and has repeatedly asked this question: What is the meaning of Christmas?
I was told the following:
It is about sharing the day with those you love and cherish. This came from an elderly man.
Prayer. To celebrate real unconditional sacrifice. To remember what we have. This came from 2 Nuns.
Making new memories and new traditions. A Bus Driver with a family shared this with Moi.
Giving to those that can not do so for themselves. A teenage girl told me that she volunteers during December at shelters.
Helping people realize what they are worth. An HR Manager.
The spirit of the season is about Love, Giving, Hope, Sacrifice, Celebration, Being Together, Knowing that each of us is here for an individual purpose. Spoken by a Pastor.
After listening and collecting these feelings, opinions and comments I decided to look to my roots and asked Tulips what she felt: She shared with me the following:
Getting together with family and friends, love, I bake special cookies, desserts that I give out to others on plates(that I know will appreciate that simple act of kindness) I also enjoy giving to others things such as gifts to my family and those I love and care about, even you Brady.
Celebrating the spirit in church on Christmas Eve singing ballads and carols. Knowing that everyone has someone to love, people to surprise and shock. Everyone has their own ideas of what this holiday means. Everything I do is because I love those around me. I simply like to give, because one day I will not be here, and until then I want to make memories, smiles and excitement.
Everything that Moi has been told is all true. Christmas is what you as a person makes of it. If you want to be a Scrooge, then so be it, but don’t belittle what others do or how they express what they feel.
Or perhaps you have no family, or because of some unfortunate circumstances you are separated from your family and friends, such as those overseas in the military, or the homeless, those in the hospital, or grieving at a funeral, or because you choose to simply be an ass. Or maybe you are with your family and others you care about and celebrate in whatever fashion you decide to do it in. Who am I to say what it right and what is wrong? Who Are You, who is anyone to say?
So if this season is about Love, Sharing, Giving, Family and Beliefs …then live that. Show it, be it. Think of what others want in their heart, and not about what you only want. Compromise. Work together, instead of against each other like so many do.
Think about it. Love seems to be the common thread we all share.
Moi has a wish this holiday season…that my Godfather receives the miracle of the season, positive health…that those I love can all share in the magic together…to just be able to wake up on the 25th with my Diva Girl, Brady, Tulips, Big Daddy, his “boys” and “the little family.”
That is all I want. I don’t need gifts, material objects, I want and need those I love with me.
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, or whatever you celebrate!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
On A Ghostly Plane: Beyond Time
The instant I stepped onto the plane I felt shivers run wild all over my body. There was a coldness in the air that seemed to engulf me as I made my way to my seat. It was 7:00pm and the plane was going to leave shortly. As I reached into my pocket to grab my seat ticket to make sure I sat in the right one, for some odd reason I could not find it. It had been there just prior to stepping on board. So where was it now? As I stood there searching my pockets there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to find a little old frail woman wearing a long black dress and wrap. She was holding out her boney shaking hand which held a piece of paper. She said to me: Find him, you must find him for me! The paper she handed me was a seat ticket. It was old looking with wrinkles and torn. She kept saying to me…YOU will find him, you will find the truth. As our hands touched and I took the paper from her, she was gone.
As I looked at the ticket, I noticed the date, as it was a date I knew only too well…December 21st, the year was 1913. The seat number was 17. All these familiar numbers…was this fate? Was this real?
It was not soon after sitting down in seat 17 that my eyes began to grow heavy and slowly close.
I was awakened by a voice, faint at first and as it seemed to get closer and closer to me I sat there very still as if I were a rabbit frozen at the thought of being discovered by my prey. I sat there trying to contain my heartbeats so that they would not grow louder and be heard. As I forced my eyes out the window of the plane I knew that I was not alone. I knew that if I turned to the right, there would be someone there sitting next to me. Seen or unseen, there would be someone there. This would not be the first time I had a connection to a spirit with a story to tell me. Somehow there was something familiar about this voice?
As I looked at the ticket, I noticed the date, as it was a date I knew only too well…December 21st, the year was 1913. The seat number was 17. All these familiar numbers…was this fate? Was this real?
It was not soon after sitting down in seat 17 that my eyes began to grow heavy and slowly close.
I was awakened by a voice, faint at first and as it seemed to get closer and closer to me I sat there very still as if I were a rabbit frozen at the thought of being discovered by my prey. I sat there trying to contain my heartbeats so that they would not grow louder and be heard. As I forced my eyes out the window of the plane I knew that I was not alone. I knew that if I turned to the right, there would be someone there sitting next to me. Seen or unseen, there would be someone there. This would not be the first time I had a connection to a spirit with a story to tell me. Somehow there was something familiar about this voice?
Monday, December 12, 2011
Divine Man's Birthday Wish List For 12/17/11
Not much has really changed for Moi since last December. I still want and desire the following things:
1) A Publishing Agent
2) A guest spot on Chelsey Lately…move over Ross Matthews!
3) Health and well being for my family and those I love.
4) A smaller booty
5) A radio talk show
6) My own line of Divine products!
7) Mo more Kardashians, Lindsay Lohan or Snookie. I guess trash and big asses are all the rage?
8) I wish politicians could work together to make a better America, not work against each other. A certain party needs to thing of the general public, not just the wealthy sector.
9) Someone to find me, and see what I am truly made of, my talents and my goals. Make them reality!
10) Equal Rights for all!
Happy Birthday To Moi! 12/17
1) A Publishing Agent
2) A guest spot on Chelsey Lately…move over Ross Matthews!
3) Health and well being for my family and those I love.
4) A smaller booty
5) A radio talk show
6) My own line of Divine products!
7) Mo more Kardashians, Lindsay Lohan or Snookie. I guess trash and big asses are all the rage?
8) I wish politicians could work together to make a better America, not work against each other. A certain party needs to thing of the general public, not just the wealthy sector.
9) Someone to find me, and see what I am truly made of, my talents and my goals. Make them reality!
10) Equal Rights for all!
Happy Birthday To Moi! 12/17
Sunday, December 11, 2011
A Silver Bullet, And 2 Days with The Glam Clam!
So over the past few weeks, Moi has been traveling like a honey bee from hive to hive , arm to arm, leg to leg and even a large booty! Well maybe not like that, but I have been busy traveling. In October Brady, Diva Girl and Moi returned to Paradise after 2 hard days on the road in my white limo, filled with wine, champagne, caviar, frozen steaks, a few cigars and holiday décor.
As if my ass was not flat enough my gal pal Jolie of The Glam Clam offered to fly Moi back to The Great Midwest to visit Tulips, Big Daddy & Co.
I must admit, the week was only 5 days short, yet a lovely excursion with Tulips and Big Daddy. ‘Home Sweet Home” there is a great deal of truth in that. On the 5th day Jolie and Moi headed out on the road in her “Silver Bullet” and began a road trip to Orlando, FL.
Along the drive through Illinois we experienced a strongest, most fierce blowing of our lives. Talk about intense and nipply! It literally ripped the clothes off our booties! My shorts ended up on the back end of a semi heading for god only knows? Then after a never ending day of long boring driving through Illinois we started singing these words “ I hate driving through Illinois, Everyone sing with me, I hate….
We finally made it to our first destination “Clarksville” where we were greeted by no one. HA! At this point we did not care, all we wanted was to open one of the 5 gallons of wine we packed, the French bread, Pringles, shower and relax. AAAHHH, there is nothing better then wine and Pringles and a nice soft bed.
As we headed through Tennessee the next day, we decided to go incognito. No make-up on, our hair in hats, sunglasses, each wearing lounge wear and looking ever so radiant. As we got into Georgia we saw some rather odd things. Like for example: there was a rather large animal tied up inside the back of an open pickup truck, it was white with black spots…a Dalmatian? Was it a Cow? OMG! It was a HUGE DOG! Now who does this? Only in Georgia I guess?
Jolie and Moi talked, laughed and talked and laughed non-stop for 2 whole days. We finally pulled into The Sunshine State that evening and made our way to her Condo. And then found the bar where we enjoyed a few martini’s, comfort food and a lovely nights rest. We did all of this for her daughter McNamara. She bought the “Silver Bullet” from Jolie.
Moi was finally on my way back to my little paradise retreat!
And now I find myself once again on a plane heading back to The Great Midwest, Moi is going home for the holidays!
Happy Holidays!
As if my ass was not flat enough my gal pal Jolie of The Glam Clam offered to fly Moi back to The Great Midwest to visit Tulips, Big Daddy & Co.
I must admit, the week was only 5 days short, yet a lovely excursion with Tulips and Big Daddy. ‘Home Sweet Home” there is a great deal of truth in that. On the 5th day Jolie and Moi headed out on the road in her “Silver Bullet” and began a road trip to Orlando, FL.
Along the drive through Illinois we experienced a strongest, most fierce blowing of our lives. Talk about intense and nipply! It literally ripped the clothes off our booties! My shorts ended up on the back end of a semi heading for god only knows? Then after a never ending day of long boring driving through Illinois we started singing these words “ I hate driving through Illinois, Everyone sing with me, I hate….
We finally made it to our first destination “Clarksville” where we were greeted by no one. HA! At this point we did not care, all we wanted was to open one of the 5 gallons of wine we packed, the French bread, Pringles, shower and relax. AAAHHH, there is nothing better then wine and Pringles and a nice soft bed.
As we headed through Tennessee the next day, we decided to go incognito. No make-up on, our hair in hats, sunglasses, each wearing lounge wear and looking ever so radiant. As we got into Georgia we saw some rather odd things. Like for example: there was a rather large animal tied up inside the back of an open pickup truck, it was white with black spots…a Dalmatian? Was it a Cow? OMG! It was a HUGE DOG! Now who does this? Only in Georgia I guess?
Jolie and Moi talked, laughed and talked and laughed non-stop for 2 whole days. We finally pulled into The Sunshine State that evening and made our way to her Condo. And then found the bar where we enjoyed a few martini’s, comfort food and a lovely nights rest. We did all of this for her daughter McNamara. She bought the “Silver Bullet” from Jolie.
Moi was finally on my way back to my little paradise retreat!
And now I find myself once again on a plane heading back to The Great Midwest, Moi is going home for the holidays!
Happy Holidays!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Five Guys Burgers And Fries!
Recently Brady and I were out in search of the FOY(Fountain Of Youth) and after a very early start to the day(5a.m.) and much walking, climbing, and digging we were famished. The noises that one could hear coming from our stomachs was so loud-you would think it was a train racing towards a blown-up bridge only to be saved by Superman as the train raced over his back! WE WAS HUNGRY FOLK!
After heeeing and haaaaing as to what would feed our fires we decided on burgers and fries! Now, the only remaining question was “where to get the best burgers and fries?” As we stood there in the middle of the parking lot and turned around many times as our eyes searched high and low…it was then a lite went on(between the 2 of us) and we raced to the doors of “Five Guys Burgers and Fries.” As we ran to the door, pushing each other out of the way we both hit the wall. No, we really did, we actually hit the wall. As our faces were squeezed upon the glass windows and our bodies slowly sank to the ground, we were stopped by the sign on the door. It read: Open 7 Days A Week 11AM-10PM. It was now 10:48AM! What in the hell are we going to do now? We have 12 minutes Brady!
The next 12 minutes seemed to linger on for hours, days…luckily for us, Moi had nail polish in my murse and so we took turns painting each others toe nails. The color was a brilliant hue of red called “Red Hot Asset.”
Finally the doors were opened!
As we walked into Five Guys, we looked around at the open dining hall, it was white and red, there was a long counter separating us from the grill area. The menu was small but had all the right fillings!
BURGERS DOGS SANDWICHES
FRIES DRINKS
ALL TOPPINGS FREE
We each ordered a Cheeseburger and a large French Fry, one with water, the other with Diet Coke.
We sat outside to enjoy the sunshine and the breeze, and as we sat there for a few minutes, our food was delivered to our table. It was in a brown bag and as I opened it in haste we were delighted at what we found. The bag was filled with old fashioned hand cut potatoes with the skins on each fry. There was a heaping amount of fries staring at each of us! As we dug through the bag we came upon our burgers. They were wrapped in foil and were rather big and heavy! We opened them up and as we did so, our eyes grew bigger and wider as we starred in amazement at the mammoth burgers! It was like having a cow in a bun with everything on it! There were juices flowing mixed with butter, mayo drippings and more. I guess when you order your burger and say “I want Everything On It” you get just that.
Everything includes: Mayo, Lettuce, Pickles, Tomatoes, Grilled Onions, Grilled Mushrooms, Ketchup, and Mustard. Our sandwiches were at least 4 inches tall(thick) and oozing with heaven!
The meat was 100% Beef, No Fillers or Preservatives !
If you seek a really, really awesome Burger and Fries…look no further then…Five Guys Burgers and Fries!
If you want to open a location, go to the website
If you are ever in Paradise and want to satisfy your taste buds …..go to
Clearwater Mall at 2689 Gulf To bay BLVD, Clearwater FL 33759
727.726.0100 FAX 727.726.7373
Divine Man and Brady give this 2 thumbs and 2 Red Hot Asset toes up!
Also you can order online!
www.fiveguys.com
After heeeing and haaaaing as to what would feed our fires we decided on burgers and fries! Now, the only remaining question was “where to get the best burgers and fries?” As we stood there in the middle of the parking lot and turned around many times as our eyes searched high and low…it was then a lite went on(between the 2 of us) and we raced to the doors of “Five Guys Burgers and Fries.” As we ran to the door, pushing each other out of the way we both hit the wall. No, we really did, we actually hit the wall. As our faces were squeezed upon the glass windows and our bodies slowly sank to the ground, we were stopped by the sign on the door. It read: Open 7 Days A Week 11AM-10PM. It was now 10:48AM! What in the hell are we going to do now? We have 12 minutes Brady!
The next 12 minutes seemed to linger on for hours, days…luckily for us, Moi had nail polish in my murse and so we took turns painting each others toe nails. The color was a brilliant hue of red called “Red Hot Asset.”
Finally the doors were opened!
As we walked into Five Guys, we looked around at the open dining hall, it was white and red, there was a long counter separating us from the grill area. The menu was small but had all the right fillings!
BURGERS DOGS SANDWICHES
FRIES DRINKS
ALL TOPPINGS FREE
We each ordered a Cheeseburger and a large French Fry, one with water, the other with Diet Coke.
We sat outside to enjoy the sunshine and the breeze, and as we sat there for a few minutes, our food was delivered to our table. It was in a brown bag and as I opened it in haste we were delighted at what we found. The bag was filled with old fashioned hand cut potatoes with the skins on each fry. There was a heaping amount of fries staring at each of us! As we dug through the bag we came upon our burgers. They were wrapped in foil and were rather big and heavy! We opened them up and as we did so, our eyes grew bigger and wider as we starred in amazement at the mammoth burgers! It was like having a cow in a bun with everything on it! There were juices flowing mixed with butter, mayo drippings and more. I guess when you order your burger and say “I want Everything On It” you get just that.
Everything includes: Mayo, Lettuce, Pickles, Tomatoes, Grilled Onions, Grilled Mushrooms, Ketchup, and Mustard. Our sandwiches were at least 4 inches tall(thick) and oozing with heaven!
The meat was 100% Beef, No Fillers or Preservatives !
If you seek a really, really awesome Burger and Fries…look no further then…Five Guys Burgers and Fries!
If you want to open a location, go to the website
If you are ever in Paradise and want to satisfy your taste buds …..go to
Clearwater Mall at 2689 Gulf To bay BLVD, Clearwater FL 33759
727.726.0100 FAX 727.726.7373
Divine Man and Brady give this 2 thumbs and 2 Red Hot Asset toes up!
Also you can order online!
www.fiveguys.com
Saturday, December 3, 2011
A Kissing Booth, And Baking Potato Super Sized Lips!
Never fear for Divine Man still LIVES! I know I am been in hiding of sorts and you have not heard a peep from me, but let me bend your ear, focus your eyes onto the following words…
Over the past few weeks I have seen lingering rat shit in places I did not even know it could be(which has stressed me), planning next years Halloween costume…I know I am tad early! Then I decided one day that Moi wanted to do something really self sacrificing for others, for all the beautiful men and women walking along on the beaches that seemed and looked lonely. I thought “what ever can I do for these poor folks?” I got thinking…mini-make-overs, new do’s, maybe some fashion tips? And then I had it, sometimes all one needs in life is a bit of inspiration. Some ego boosting old fashion attention. So I opened a booth on the beach…but not just any ole’ booth, but a kissing booth!
I figured I could knock off to birds with one stone…I could provide a absolutely perfect moist kiss to each of these handsome men that appeared single and to the sexy women that appeared to be desperate housewives. So for the next 7 days I collected $8.00 for a minute and a half worth of divine kissing. Not before I made each person gargle with mouthwash! Moi did this for 8 hours a day for 7 days, 7 days I tell ya! And do you know what my lips were like? They were once smooth, flawless, perky, and moist. Well after all that kissing Moi’s lips were all serviced out! Out Of Order! Closed! Needing Repairs! Get the picture? My lips were now flattened, dry, cracking, and bruising(one of the guys thought biting was part of it). Then after the flattening ended, my lips suddenly began to fill up, swell to an enormous size of like…baking potatoes!
So as you can imagine, I refused to go anywhere, look at a mirror, shower, write anything as I was so very depressed at the sight of my baking potato super sized lips! All I could do was eat my the shovel loads…with these new lips I was able to eat everything and anything I wanted to, even the dog! No, just kidding, but I could eat and eat and eat. Next thing I knew, I was sporting a big ass once again, my muffin top had started to rear it’s ugly puffy head, I was experiencing an acne breakout, not only on my face, but on my large ass as well. After a few weeks of self destruction I decided I needed to take control of the situation and to hell with what others thought! I decided to go swimming, but because of the size of my lips I was unable to go underwater(they were like floatation devices) but regardless Moi carried on, I began walking, sipping on low salt chicken broth, drinking only white wine, and eating greens.
Moi was close to being back to normal! Just in time for “The Glam Clam’s 2 Day Road Trip-South”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More to come!
Toodles! Ta Ta! Kiss Kiss!
Over the past few weeks I have seen lingering rat shit in places I did not even know it could be(which has stressed me), planning next years Halloween costume…I know I am tad early! Then I decided one day that Moi wanted to do something really self sacrificing for others, for all the beautiful men and women walking along on the beaches that seemed and looked lonely. I thought “what ever can I do for these poor folks?” I got thinking…mini-make-overs, new do’s, maybe some fashion tips? And then I had it, sometimes all one needs in life is a bit of inspiration. Some ego boosting old fashion attention. So I opened a booth on the beach…but not just any ole’ booth, but a kissing booth!
I figured I could knock off to birds with one stone…I could provide a absolutely perfect moist kiss to each of these handsome men that appeared single and to the sexy women that appeared to be desperate housewives. So for the next 7 days I collected $8.00 for a minute and a half worth of divine kissing. Not before I made each person gargle with mouthwash! Moi did this for 8 hours a day for 7 days, 7 days I tell ya! And do you know what my lips were like? They were once smooth, flawless, perky, and moist. Well after all that kissing Moi’s lips were all serviced out! Out Of Order! Closed! Needing Repairs! Get the picture? My lips were now flattened, dry, cracking, and bruising(one of the guys thought biting was part of it). Then after the flattening ended, my lips suddenly began to fill up, swell to an enormous size of like…baking potatoes!
So as you can imagine, I refused to go anywhere, look at a mirror, shower, write anything as I was so very depressed at the sight of my baking potato super sized lips! All I could do was eat my the shovel loads…with these new lips I was able to eat everything and anything I wanted to, even the dog! No, just kidding, but I could eat and eat and eat. Next thing I knew, I was sporting a big ass once again, my muffin top had started to rear it’s ugly puffy head, I was experiencing an acne breakout, not only on my face, but on my large ass as well. After a few weeks of self destruction I decided I needed to take control of the situation and to hell with what others thought! I decided to go swimming, but because of the size of my lips I was unable to go underwater(they were like floatation devices) but regardless Moi carried on, I began walking, sipping on low salt chicken broth, drinking only white wine, and eating greens.
Moi was close to being back to normal! Just in time for “The Glam Clam’s 2 Day Road Trip-South”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More to come!
Toodles! Ta Ta! Kiss Kiss!
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