No Dog Here!

Why do people think that when they see you, they get this urge, this idea that they should pat you on the head, as if I….Divine Man is a dog, a mutt just waiting for someone to fondle my head…not going there!


Anyways, the last time I went to the beauty parlor…OMG did I just use that term? I did, sounds kinda high end ehh? So I went to get my hair did and my hair mistress gave me a new design upon my lovely gorgeous head. She styled it, and sent me on my way looking …well….Divine!

So as I am waiting out by the curb for my “date” to come and gather me up and whisk me away for an evening of total and complete romance(truth be told it was a Brat BBQ-a BIG one!) my “date” arrives and immediately has to pat me on the frickin’ head! In this moment I am thinking “I have been a good boy, do I get my bone?” I gave the look of daggers and death! “oh no you did not just do that” Divine Man spent money on this new do!

Just today I walked my divine self into the …..yes that is right! The beauty parlor for a sprucing up! My hair mistress “Minnie” is overjoyed to see me but of course! I say “ Minnie give me something sexy and shorter, and wax my caterpillars for me dear!”

So Minnie does her thing and in 30 minutes later I am even more divine then when I walked in, if that’s even possible? So I decided to cancel the next 5 dates in fear of being patted like a dog on the head! I mean come on, if am not going to get a bone, jewelry, or a blank check don’t “pat” my luscious brown locks!

As I sit here wearing my white Jackie o’s, red boa, and my cut off blue paint splattered joggers and my lovely red wife beater t-top I ponder many thoughts…

Oh, which I will share with you in next episode of “The Misadventures of a Divine Man”


And remember…”Go Out And Find Your Own Divine Self”