I bet you think Moi’s Friday nights are really wild? Right?
Let me see…ummmm…not so much. How can going to the grocery store on a Friday night be exciting? Well ok, I will confess! Just Friday evening Moi decided to go over to the big supermarket with my red feather boa, white Jackie-o’s placed perfectly on my perfect head. While I sported linen white Capri’s(I know the scandal of wearing white before Memorial Day) and a see-thru white half buttoned shirt slightly exposing my perky tanned and glistening chest. Oh and I splashed some scent onto my luscious neck! Then I gathered my fabric grocery bag in one hand, and in the other were Moi’s coupons in my coupon sack!
Of course as you know I can not even go to the supermarket without being asked for pics and my John Handcock! Ever wonder how John’s last name came to be? Heeeheheee! Anyways…focus! After I did the pic thing and autographs Moi went on my merry way with my shopping cart and came across the most glorious green, firm, curved, BIG and I bet juicy as hell cucumber. It began to take be back to the summer of 1997. But that is another story for another day!
Focus Focus with Moi! I reach for the beautiful BIG cucumber in slow motion and as my finger tips are almost touching it and I can taste it in my mouth, juicy and crisp this woman out of no where grabs it. Well I do declare! I looked at this woman and asked her “what the hell is your problem?” can’t you see, this is my cuke! Not your’s but Moi’s! she replies with a sharp “NO it is mine” and I tell her….go ahead look closer at it, and as I take it from her hand I slyly place a “Divine Man” sticker on the underside! And to her horror and amazement there it is, Moi’s name! the sticker reads: Property Of Divine Man!
Well, the lady just stood there in shock picking her nose, and pulling her underwear out of her large crack. I happily went on my way with my BIG cuke and shopping cart. Like, you should never mess with Moi during “that time of the month” for one, second-you should never try and steal the one and only BIG cuke that I have my sights set on, and three…HELLO it is Moi!
This reminds me of the time I….
No comments:
Post a Comment