Remember My Girl Friday(Marina Lovealots) and her date Richie?
Well about 2 months after that night with Richie Rich, Mutt and Jeff my BFF Marina decided to return to the Windy City for a fabulous job offer! At first Moi was saddened by this, but eventually after a lot of phone calls back and forth to Marina, and a few boxes of bon bons, wine and meditation walks Moi bounced back.
Marina and Moi talked weekly, laughed and she would tell me of all her exciting dates, the not so exciting ones, the one legged ones, and even the ones that lived in basements under mobile homes… “I know, I know, when Moi heard about that one, I was like What the Hell?”
A few months had passed and one particular Wednesday morning Marina calls Moi. She asks me “ Do you remember that guy named Richie?” I reply with “you mean the guy that inserted his tongue down your throat? that one” Marina was like…yeah that one. Well Richie called me today and asked if I still talk with you, and I told him “well da, of course I do!” Anyways I asked Richie why he wants to know and he told me that he thought you were really cool, fun and he does not have any friends to hang out with really and would like to hang out with you. He also asked for your digits and I told him I would have to ask you if you wanted him to call you. So what do you think bud?
Well, I was a bit shocked considering we had not even talked much that night, because his tongue was busy. But Moi thought what the hell? Why not, he seemed nice enough and Moi is always up for making new friends. So I told Marina to have Richie Call Moi!
Later that evening my crystal and gold phone rings and after extending my perfectly tanned and toned arm out to pick it up Moi answers with: My, my, I was wondering when you would call, how the hell are you Richie ole’ boy? Richie proceeded to chit chat with Moi about life, his loneliness, his kids, work, and his wish to meet a good lady to have a relationship with. We made plans to meet for dinner and drinks later that week on Friday night.
We had a great time hanging out that Friday night, and decided to hang out again on Saturday. Moi and Richie were becoming buds, friends and I tried to introduce him to single ladies that I knew. Moi even invited him to go with on a bar drive with a group of my friends. I guess it is the thing to do in the Midwest after a long winter of being stuck indoors. You see the idea of the bar drive is to ride around all day in a school bus playing games to win prizes like drinks, shots, cd’s, movies, etc…
While going to each bar that day Richie and I had many laughs, met a lot of people and had one to many drinks.
About a week after the bar drive event, Richie and I decided to watch a movie at my Victorian townhouse. I made homemade pizza, chilled some micro-brews, and we enjoyed the movie. After the movie, Moi went into the kitchen to get a brew for Richie and Moi. When I returned to the living room there was no Richie to be found. Moi has assumed that he had left and slipped out the front door or something. So I turned off the lights, locked the doors, and undressed in my dressing room. As I got my satin red flowing robe out and wrapped it out around my lavish body I ascend to my boudoir.
I am stunned, shocked and totally astonished at what I find waiting for me on top of my silk draped bed…it was Richie laying there totally nude, exposing his very handsome and sexy toned body. He asks Moi: So how do we do this? Should I stand up? Lay down? Do you want to be on top or the bottom? Again I am so stunned, shocked and astonished. As I stand there my shock turns into disgust and I summon these words: No one is going to stand, lay down, be on top or on the bottom Richie! I don’t know what you think is happening here but I do not, I repeat DO NOT Play With LITTLE GUYS! Understand! Itsy, Bitsy, Teeney, Weeney Short Dick Man!
Let’s just say this, Richie Rich was not so Rich in the bedroom department, and he was what Moi would call a shorty with a slimy interior.
No comments:
Post a Comment