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Thursday, June 16, 2011

3 Martini's And The World's Largest Weiner...

Remember Dr. Feelgood? Moi’s personal Doc that always has something crazy to tell Moi about my body?

Like the time I had the 3 nuts, the 3rd tata forming on my chest? And the 22 Hemorrhoids?

Recently I experienced the sudden urge to empty my bladder, but it would not stop. I mean as soon as I would finish it would start again, and again, and again! Poor guy was all pissed out, or so one would have thought! But no! So Moi thought about it and decided that there must be something wrong? And so I went to see my Doc and told him of my symptoms, he replied with “Divine Man, you need to drop your pants and cough” naturally I did so(I must say it was kind of erotic-nothing better then the feel of cold latex against your skin) and all was good. Next he instructed me to bend over to check my tonsils(HAHA) which was all in perfect shape! I mean what did he think he was going to find up there? A family of mice?

After a few other tests, and blood was taken Moi was called into the Doc’s office. Before me on his desk, were 3 Martini’s. The first one was called: The Full Moon, it was a dark blue color with a pearl onion on a stick. The next one was called: The Pap Smear and was red at the bottom with a yellow cherry and the color became clear as it got to the rim of the glass. The third one was called: The Colonpolitan and was a lovely shade of vibrant pink!

Moi asked Dr. Feelgood what the reason was for all these Martini’s? He told Moi that the only way to determine what was wrong with me was if I drank each one, and if my water stream came out orange while making double arches in mid air the we would know what was wrong. It would either be my colon, my “friend” or my hemorrhoids.

Well after downing each martini we were both baffled by what we discovered. None of them turned my water stream orange. But I sure did have a good buzz going! It turns out that my bladder had been shaken, stirred and mixed up from my recent long 2.5 day limo ride to attend the “World’s Largest Weiner Fest.” Or maybe it was the consumption of the very BIG Weiner that Moi so delightfully enjoyed chewing on, with all it’s juices flowing, streaking down my chin and plopping onto my perky tata’s!

Remember, you are Divine, even when you can’t leave the throne! Just know this: No Weiner is worth it, unless it is golden!!! 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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