Defying Gravity On A Blind Date!

Do you remember the “Explosive Date”?

Recently Moi was conned into going on another blind date by my pal Brady. As if the last one that exploded in the bathroom was not enough he felt compelled to continue his quest as a would be matchmaker.

Because Moi is such a good hearted person and does not want to hurt anyone’s feelings I agreed to try the ole’ blind date trick again. And before I tell you about it I must say “It seems all my dates are explosive!”

Anyways…It was a mid week date, and Moi dressed to kill, naturally! Moi wore white shorts that came to just my thighs that are ever so tan, sculpted, and firm. My shirt was light tan, linen and laced up the front to reveal just a enough of my perky chest, while exposing my glistening soft skin. My feet were comfortable in tan sandals and my hair was freshly colored and cut. I looked divine! I looked delicious!

I arrived at a Oceanside restaurant with a perfect view of the Gulf, the waves lazily crashing into the shore, the sun was blazing it’s radiant beams, the palm trees ever so gently swaying, and then there was the flash! In my face! And another, and another!

Moi ran inside quickly to take cover and get a stiff one(a drink that is, perverts) to calm me nerves! After a few sips of my cosmo all was right with the world! I decided that seeing as how I was early I would investigate the restaurant and the patio area. It was such a lovely evening, people were smiling, laughing, clinking wine glasses, a few asked for my John Hancock and my blind date had arrived. WOW…what a hunk! Picture It! He was a vision with black linen pants, a tan and black silky beach shirt on, his chest was broad and I wondered what his arms around my perfect waste would feel like. Think LL Cool J!!!! He was a bronzed chocolate god! He was a Jamaican me crazy and filling me with butterflies.

Dinner was wonderful, our entrees were great and the conversation was perfect. The way he watched Moi, rubbed my hands softly, hung onto every word I spoke and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk or see where he lived? Well I thought “see his pad?” or a walk? I opted for the pad!

His home was on the beach, a traditional Floridian home, with hurricane shutters that were white, the house itself was painted a mellow yellow, with lovely tropical plants everywhere perfectly placed. Once inside I was amazed at how clean, and well decorated it was. Most guys can’t decorate to save their souls! So I was impressed. The rooms were each painted a different color, using earth tones, and sharp accent colors. We made our way to the patio/backyard where he asked if I wanted a glass of wine. And with in a fast minute or two he was back with red wine for us both, soft music started streaming from all around Moi and mood lighting surfaced. He was a perfect host. We talked, laughed and danced. And then he slowly ever so gently wrapped his strong arms around me, pulling me close to his warm body and began to kiss me. And I do mean kiss! His lips were on fire! As were mine. His firmness became obvious and my body was melting!

Eventually we stopped kissing and he excused himself, and Moi just stood there smiling, feeling all tingly and giggly at the recap of what just happened. Once I came back to earth I realized I had to powder my nose and so I wandered into his home in search of the bathroom. I was being quiet as I did not want to disturb the still night air. I saw a light on at the end of the hallway and so I went inside the room. It was his, and so I figured he must have a master bath. He was no where to be found. The coast was clear. I saw the bathroom door, it was slightly open and so I opened the door. To my shock and surprise I was stopped in my tracks by “chocolate god.” He was bent over exposing his naked booty as he was trying to insert suppositories in order to get much needed relief. As he did so without noticing me standing there frozen, he blasted a very loud fart and sent the little suppository bullet in the air right past my head!
　
Let’s just say this: I made a fast dash for the front door, almost as fast as that bullet flew past my head, and I ran for cover!


Moi has learned a lesson: Before going on a blind date ask the following questions: Do you have your own hair, your own teeth, do you bathe, and do you use suppositories?