Well let Moi tell you all about my rainy days…
This week has been filled with day after day of rain, dull skies, strong winds, did I mention rain? This makes for one long week of bad ass hair(not ass hair, but just bad hair days) and when you have nothing really to do except polish your toe nails, repeatedly. It truly is amazing to see how many layers of polish one can have on toe nails before your shoes no longer fit.
Moi has watched every soap, every talk show, every re-run of Law & Order: SVU and listened to every cd, 45, 8 track and even taken to playing naked twister, which is not fun when you are alone!
So today(Thursday) I decided to go out and get a pedicure, an arch wax and a Brazilian just in case the sun ever returns. Moi decides to drive alone to the salon hoping to get there before another round of rain and wind hits. I am driving along, looking fabulous in my glitter red flip flops, my white Capri’s, my blue gingham checkered satin button up shirt and my red feather boa. As I am driving along, I hear sirens blaring so loudly that it is hard to figure out where they are coming from. As they seem to get closer and closer until there is a police car right behind me, and the officer is speaking thru a speakerphone: “Divine Man is that you? I knew it was, I told Marvin here that it was you, but all he could say was…does Divine Man bake donuts?” anyways, I just had to catch up to you to get your autograph!
Well naturally I did and gleefully signed his pistol. I noticed the wild looking storm clouds heading in the direction Moi was going so I asked Officer Friendly for an escort to the Salon. He happily escorted me there so Moi would not get stuck in a storm.
As Moi parked the car, it hit, the heavy larger then life sized rain drops shattering the earth below me, the cars, and as Moi sat there contemplating what to do. Do I make a run for it, leave, or wait it out?
Moi is fearless except for when it comes to crow’s feet, which Moi has none of unlike Brady, Tulips, Big Daddy, MiMi, Cubes, Jolene, and the others, well they know who they are! Anywho Moi decides to make a run for it. As I run thru what seems like a raging river flowing with rapids in the parking lot getting deeper with each step Moi takes, it happens so fast! One of Moi’s glittered red flip flops decides to swim down stream without Moi!
As the torrential rain keeps coming down harder and harder and heavier now, I decide to swim for my flip flop! Moi has to save it! So I dive into the water and finally get to my precious glittered red flip flop.
Now my stunning outfit is completely drenched. Thank god I left my underwear at home today! My red feather boa is now resembling a drowned beaver, and my perfect hair is now, well let’s just say it is BAD! And if this were a wet t-shirt contest and if I was wearing a white shirt, Moi would totally win!
So I ask you what does one do and how to survive a rainy day?
No comments:
Post a Comment