Seven days had passed since he had stayed over night and slept in the guest room. It was half way through the week when I had started to remember the steamy dream I had that night. It seemed beyond real in an almost uncomfortable way. What did not make sense was waking up to find a note informing he that he left to attend church. I did not even know that he was religious?
As the week came to a close I finally got a text message from him. He wanted to express his lack of contact through the week. Normally I would be angered by this, however it made me want to see him all the more. It was as if I needed a fix! A fix of something you knew in your gut that you needed to stay away from.
We met for dinner, it was a lovely warm evening sitting outside under the moonlight. There was laughter, gazing into each other eyes, and multiple funny conversations.
We eventually finished our delicious seafood dinner, and made our way to the beach to walk along and enjoy the calming effect of the waves crashing in onto the shore. We stopped to sit for awhile and as we relaxed on the warmth of the sand, he leaned in and pulled me closer to his chest and slowly began to kiss my sweet soft delicate lips. As we kissed his snake like tongue made its way into mouth as I sat there unable to move as if he had taken complete control of my entire body.
My mind became increasingly relaxed, as the rest of my body felt exposed and on fire.
This blog is about life, family, friendships, goals, dreams, today's issues, inspiring stories, laughter, tears, and love. Divine Man is a funny over the top individual with a unique approach to life and situations!
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Wednesday, November 16, 2016
The Deafening Danger, Part 3
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
The Deafening Danger, Part 2
Have you ever met someone who just kinda made your heart break for them?
He most likely would not want me feeling this way, or would he?
As we sat in the quietness of the park overlooking the bay, we began to navigate our way through the barriers of communicating. Not only was he hearing impaired, but he wore 2 devices to aid him in hearing a bit. He also was able to read lips, use sign language, and he could talk some. Surprisingly I was able to understand him and he, I.
As we talked, he told me of his sad and hardened life being abandoned, failed relationships with cheaters, his hearing loss, feeling all alone and broken at times. How could I not want to help him, take him under my wing? Want to care for him? His life experience compelled me to want to do so.
I invited him over for one of my famous "cooked from the heart-made from scratch homemade dinners- that people from all over beg me to prepare for them." I was feeling as if we were establishing a real friendship, building some trust, and a safe zone for each. It was enjoyable to chat with someone while I was in the kitchen, we sipped on wine, and enjoyed the lovely feast.
It was a delightful evening.
A few days later, I asked him to join me at a dear friends pad for cocktails and conversation, as I thought it might be good for him to get out and broaden his social circle. Learn to feel comfortable around others in a social setting. So we went to the party, all was going swimmingly! Everyone was chatting, laughing, he was engaged in a conversation with a few others, and I just sat back and thought "you did good Divine Man."
The party came to a close and we rode back to my palace in the white limo, it was a good thing as we both felt a bit buzzed. I knew he had a 40 minute drive ahead of him to get to his Aunt's home(where he was living) and so I offered him my guest room. At first he resisted, but then caved into the idea of sleeping on a soft bed versus a lumpy couch.
It was still dark outside when I sensed someone in my chambers, I could feel someone breathing, getting closer to me as I laid sleeping. Very gently I felt arms wrap around my fabulous body, and pull me close. I felt safe yet startled all at once. This is the stuff I love about dreams. Anything can happen while asleep. I felt hands slowly begin to explore my naked and butter soft skin, and then a silky wetness descended upon my neck. I moaned as I felt unable to move and release myself from the pleasure I was experiencing.
The morning came, the sun was shining and I woke up to find a note on my kitchen counter that read "Divineness, Thank You for allowing me to stay over, I had to leave early for church."
He most likely would not want me feeling this way, or would he?
As we sat in the quietness of the park overlooking the bay, we began to navigate our way through the barriers of communicating. Not only was he hearing impaired, but he wore 2 devices to aid him in hearing a bit. He also was able to read lips, use sign language, and he could talk some. Surprisingly I was able to understand him and he, I.
As we talked, he told me of his sad and hardened life being abandoned, failed relationships with cheaters, his hearing loss, feeling all alone and broken at times. How could I not want to help him, take him under my wing? Want to care for him? His life experience compelled me to want to do so.
I invited him over for one of my famous "cooked from the heart-made from scratch homemade dinners- that people from all over beg me to prepare for them." I was feeling as if we were establishing a real friendship, building some trust, and a safe zone for each. It was enjoyable to chat with someone while I was in the kitchen, we sipped on wine, and enjoyed the lovely feast.
It was a delightful evening.
A few days later, I asked him to join me at a dear friends pad for cocktails and conversation, as I thought it might be good for him to get out and broaden his social circle. Learn to feel comfortable around others in a social setting. So we went to the party, all was going swimmingly! Everyone was chatting, laughing, he was engaged in a conversation with a few others, and I just sat back and thought "you did good Divine Man."
The party came to a close and we rode back to my palace in the white limo, it was a good thing as we both felt a bit buzzed. I knew he had a 40 minute drive ahead of him to get to his Aunt's home(where he was living) and so I offered him my guest room. At first he resisted, but then caved into the idea of sleeping on a soft bed versus a lumpy couch.
It was still dark outside when I sensed someone in my chambers, I could feel someone breathing, getting closer to me as I laid sleeping. Very gently I felt arms wrap around my fabulous body, and pull me close. I felt safe yet startled all at once. This is the stuff I love about dreams. Anything can happen while asleep. I felt hands slowly begin to explore my naked and butter soft skin, and then a silky wetness descended upon my neck. I moaned as I felt unable to move and release myself from the pleasure I was experiencing.
The morning came, the sun was shining and I woke up to find a note on my kitchen counter that read "Divineness, Thank You for allowing me to stay over, I had to leave early for church."
Sunday, November 6, 2016
The Deafening Danger, Part 1
Perhaps my intuition was off, maybe it wasn't totally balanced yet since awaking from the coma? Perhaps I was vulnerable since my memories of what I heard while I was in that death like state for so many months had started to return to me. Learning what those deceitful twins had done to me unknowingly for so many years, maybe it was the longing for my one true soulmate to return to me again.
I can't believe I am actually gonna do this? How had I fallen from such standards? How had the most simply amazingly divine man come to this moment? As my hands trembled I grabbed for my wine glass and with the other hand I stretched out my right index finger and as I touched the screen on my phone...I thought "here goes nothing!"
I completed my dating profile and uploaded a fabulous selfie, and then sat on my couch waiting and waiting and drinking and waiting and drinking and waiting and then peeing and peeing and then "BING" I heard that surprisingly delightful sound!
Winner winner chicken dinner! Someone had sent me a message! Someone wanted to chat with me!
His name: Jeremiah
Age: 33
Occupation: Nurse
Volunteer: Homeless Shelters
Interests: Walks on the beach, flea markets, movies, swimming, and art galleries.
He is seeking a LTR
And he was hearing impaired. But wore a device that helped him. He was born able to hear until he was 4, when he suffered severe hearing loss from an infection is both ears. Shortly after that his Mother left him with his Grandparents.
WOW, he has survived alot. Which made me think that he was someone whom I thought I could indulge in chatting with.
We chatted for about 2 hours.
It was fun, and on my terms!
After chatting back and forth for about 5 or 6 days, I agree to a meeting.
I can't believe I am actually gonna do this? How had I fallen from such standards? How had the most simply amazingly divine man come to this moment? As my hands trembled I grabbed for my wine glass and with the other hand I stretched out my right index finger and as I touched the screen on my phone...I thought "here goes nothing!"
I completed my dating profile and uploaded a fabulous selfie, and then sat on my couch waiting and waiting and drinking and waiting and drinking and waiting and then peeing and peeing and then "BING" I heard that surprisingly delightful sound!
Winner winner chicken dinner! Someone had sent me a message! Someone wanted to chat with me!
His name: Jeremiah
Age: 33
Occupation: Nurse
Volunteer: Homeless Shelters
Interests: Walks on the beach, flea markets, movies, swimming, and art galleries.
He is seeking a LTR
And he was hearing impaired. But wore a device that helped him. He was born able to hear until he was 4, when he suffered severe hearing loss from an infection is both ears. Shortly after that his Mother left him with his Grandparents.
WOW, he has survived alot. Which made me think that he was someone whom I thought I could indulge in chatting with.
We chatted for about 2 hours.
It was fun, and on my terms!
After chatting back and forth for about 5 or 6 days, I agree to a meeting.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
Pride and Franklin Frankie
As I sit here in my penthouse, wrapped in my red feather boa, red satin shimmering robe as I sip on a glass of wine I poured out of a box I ponder this:
It's Gay Pride month.
And this is the St. Pete Pride Festival.... As in St.Petersburg, FL.
Naturally I normally go, however this year I felt no need to go, to attend. I sit here with a heavy heart, and sense of sadness in my beautiful heart, mind, and body.
My reasons for not attending this evenings parade are: Alot of things in my life changed during and after my coma. For example: Since I woke up, I have begun to slowly remember people, conversations and secrets that were told to me. Also since the coma, I have realized that there are/were people that I held very dear to me that are no longer in my world. In fact one person in particular is at the center of this pain, his name is Franklin Frankie. We met about 3 years ago when I had first arrived in Paradise via the Rainbow Connection.
He was involved in a toxic and tumultuous relationship with a young man that did not respect him, nor care, show/offer moral support or true love. FF and I slowly became friends, and inched our way closer to each other. I met his daughters, his bestie, and each time his ex would surface his slithery spineless head and wreak havoc on FF's life, FF would fall apart and I would always be there to help him pick up all the shattered pieces and re-assemble his life, and his heart.
After the last breakup, he seemed to bounce back quicker and we were attending parties, social events, gallery openings and other such things. His bestie Kelly, would often come with us, and we all got along famously. She was a lovely wild spirit with butterfly wings and a unicorn horn.
FF and I eventually began to hang out just he and I.
Things were good, no they were great. It was the Summer of 69! LOL!!
We became the 3 Musketeer's, and regardless of what we were doing it was fun, joyful and always laughing. I remember the night a group of us went roller skating(first time in 100 years) and then there was the Masquerade Ball, days spent at the pool, potluck's at the penthouse, nights out clubbing, and Costume parties galore!
FF and I were growing closer, not sexually but just closer.
And then nothing. He cut me out of his life.
What is puzzling to me is that the whole time I was in the coma, he never came to see me. There are so many things, unanswered questions I have. It's rather disturbing and not easy to move forward when there are things that remind you of someone on a daily or weekly basis. I just want to know why?
Was it just me? What did I do to make you hate me so much? Was the connection all in my head?
Happy Pride my pets!!
It's Gay Pride month.
And this is the St. Pete Pride Festival.... As in St.Petersburg, FL.
Naturally I normally go, however this year I felt no need to go, to attend. I sit here with a heavy heart, and sense of sadness in my beautiful heart, mind, and body.
My reasons for not attending this evenings parade are: Alot of things in my life changed during and after my coma. For example: Since I woke up, I have begun to slowly remember people, conversations and secrets that were told to me. Also since the coma, I have realized that there are/were people that I held very dear to me that are no longer in my world. In fact one person in particular is at the center of this pain, his name is Franklin Frankie. We met about 3 years ago when I had first arrived in Paradise via the Rainbow Connection.
He was involved in a toxic and tumultuous relationship with a young man that did not respect him, nor care, show/offer moral support or true love. FF and I slowly became friends, and inched our way closer to each other. I met his daughters, his bestie, and each time his ex would surface his slithery spineless head and wreak havoc on FF's life, FF would fall apart and I would always be there to help him pick up all the shattered pieces and re-assemble his life, and his heart.
After the last breakup, he seemed to bounce back quicker and we were attending parties, social events, gallery openings and other such things. His bestie Kelly, would often come with us, and we all got along famously. She was a lovely wild spirit with butterfly wings and a unicorn horn.
FF and I eventually began to hang out just he and I.
Things were good, no they were great. It was the Summer of 69! LOL!!
We became the 3 Musketeer's, and regardless of what we were doing it was fun, joyful and always laughing. I remember the night a group of us went roller skating(first time in 100 years) and then there was the Masquerade Ball, days spent at the pool, potluck's at the penthouse, nights out clubbing, and Costume parties galore!
FF and I were growing closer, not sexually but just closer.
And then nothing. He cut me out of his life.
What is puzzling to me is that the whole time I was in the coma, he never came to see me. There are so many things, unanswered questions I have. It's rather disturbing and not easy to move forward when there are things that remind you of someone on a daily or weekly basis. I just want to know why?
Was it just me? What did I do to make you hate me so much? Was the connection all in my head?
Happy Pride my pets!!
Sunday, June 5, 2016
Mandrake, Dog Shit and the Smiling Man!
"Picture It" ... it's a beautiful sunny morning, the skies are blue, the birds are chirping, there are cute little lizzard like geckos scurrying all around, and the flowers are in bloom! As I skip along the sidewalk unaware that I have stepped off into the grass. I realized this and thought ...why not take off my diamond studded flip flops off and go barefoot? So I did.
I did this for a short while until I stepped in some wet and still warm, moist dog shit! Great, just friggin great! I can imagine now how the rest of my day will go!
Thankfully, there was a Gardner working out in the upcoming yard and so I asked the nice man if he would assist me in cleaning off my perfectly shaped foot. Of course he was more then happy to assist Moi! I mean who wouldn't?
Once the dog shit is cleaned and removed from my delicate foot, I make my way to the marketplace where I begin to look for an assortment of items for a very special recipe!
The following ingredients:
Black Berry Root
Chicory
Hemlock
Henbane
Mandrake
As I make my way through the exotic market, trying to make conversation with the merchants from lands afar, which is not easy as one might think when you don't each speak the same tongue.
Regardless, I was offered samples of teas that possessed healing powers, and little cakes....breads...wines...and they gave Moi capes and magical slippers and a few other things.
As I took a minute from all the walking and mingling with the merchants, I sat down with a chalice filled with summer wine, and relaxed my feet. Across the way, was a cute man, and at first I did not pay any attention to him, but I realized he was...well smiling at Moi... of course he was, I mean who doesn't?
As I sat there, I began to smile back, stir my wine with my left index finger so I could ever so slowly suck the wine from it in a seducing way...
This must have continued to go on for 2-3 hours... we just both sat there and smiled at each other.
Normally I would just approach...but thought I should just be coy and sweet today.
As I sat there smiling hoping and praying this handsome stranger would just get up and walk over to me... and before I know it, two large men in white coats approach the handsome man and as they do he stands up quickly and begins to fight them off. They are big and strong and seem to restrain him.
I realize if I don't try and stop them I might never get to see him again... so I get up and run to his aid!
The men in white coats restrain him as I approach and quickly inform Moi that this handsome man is an escaped mental patient and has a condition called: Angelman Syndrome. Which causes you to permanently smile forever. So even if he did not want to smile or meant to....he was.
I learned a real lesson in life... just because someone smiles at you, find out why.... they maybe wincing from gas, or cramps or they might have Angelman Syndrome. So the next time you step in warm moist dog shit, you should just turn around and go home!
Saturday, June 4, 2016
Uuummmm Sir, you have some shrimp stuck in your neck hair!
So here I am, all dressed up, wearing my Talbot's Flare jeans, black jimmy cho's, slim fit white button up shirt, and my black with white dots tux coat... looking smokin hot and refreshed.
My cohorts, Benny and Donny...a dashing vegan couple and surprising new friends to Moi! The 3 of us all ready for an evening of fun, awards, paparazzi, and fancy people!
We arrive at the Gala event, as we walk in, there are crowds of people laughing, air kissing, diamonds twinkling on the women, and the men and glasses clinking! As we make our way through the people, and head to one of the open bars for wine there is distant voice softly calling my name. I turn ever so slowly around in caution because I know that voice. It's his voice...
I turn completely around to find no one there, just glittering people walking past. Was he just in my head? in my heart and soul? Is he just someone that I made up while I was in the coma? did he really find me?
Benny and Donny walk over to me with wine for us and we raise our glasses at toast to a fabulous evening of merriment and gaiety! There we are, laughing, air kissing diplomats, idiots, headliners and Drag Queens. I notice a young man approach Moi with a tray of appetizers... he is rather unkept looking with wrinkled clothing, messy greasy hair, and unshaven. He offers Moi a spoon full of shrimp and shellfish! I stand there an stare at this guy and I begin to enjoy the seafood in the spoon. I notice he has ...what looks like a piece of shrimp stuck to his long facial hair on his neck.
I just stand there thinking...someone needs to tell this guy about the shrimp that he has gotten tangled in his neck hair! He walks through the crowd with his tray of seafood with me in pursuit of wanting to not embarrass him any. As I'm walking towards him, I am pulled by an admirer for a photo opp! I eventually am able to get away and now I can't seem to find him. I spot him on the other side of the room, and I make tracks towards him hoping to get him alone to tell him about his dangling shrimp!
As I approach him I notice the shrimp is almost like dancing in his neck hair!
I tap him on his shoulder gently as I don't want to startle him and his shrimp falls off his neck and lands on a spoon... Sir, Young Man,..... As he turns to me, I lean in closely to him and point at my neck and say...you happen to have some shrimp on your neck... He replies with well thank you for noticing my skin tag, I really appreciate it, I will now go home and kill myself!
I'm like so stunned and shocked! That's a skin tag? Who walks around with a skin tag the size of a shrimp while serving...shrimp?
I mean...come on dude!
My cohorts, Benny and Donny...a dashing vegan couple and surprising new friends to Moi! The 3 of us all ready for an evening of fun, awards, paparazzi, and fancy people!
We arrive at the Gala event, as we walk in, there are crowds of people laughing, air kissing, diamonds twinkling on the women, and the men and glasses clinking! As we make our way through the people, and head to one of the open bars for wine there is distant voice softly calling my name. I turn ever so slowly around in caution because I know that voice. It's his voice...
I turn completely around to find no one there, just glittering people walking past. Was he just in my head? in my heart and soul? Is he just someone that I made up while I was in the coma? did he really find me?
Benny and Donny walk over to me with wine for us and we raise our glasses at toast to a fabulous evening of merriment and gaiety! There we are, laughing, air kissing diplomats, idiots, headliners and Drag Queens. I notice a young man approach Moi with a tray of appetizers... he is rather unkept looking with wrinkled clothing, messy greasy hair, and unshaven. He offers Moi a spoon full of shrimp and shellfish! I stand there an stare at this guy and I begin to enjoy the seafood in the spoon. I notice he has ...what looks like a piece of shrimp stuck to his long facial hair on his neck.
I just stand there thinking...someone needs to tell this guy about the shrimp that he has gotten tangled in his neck hair! He walks through the crowd with his tray of seafood with me in pursuit of wanting to not embarrass him any. As I'm walking towards him, I am pulled by an admirer for a photo opp! I eventually am able to get away and now I can't seem to find him. I spot him on the other side of the room, and I make tracks towards him hoping to get him alone to tell him about his dangling shrimp!
As I approach him I notice the shrimp is almost like dancing in his neck hair!
I tap him on his shoulder gently as I don't want to startle him and his shrimp falls off his neck and lands on a spoon... Sir, Young Man,..... As he turns to me, I lean in closely to him and point at my neck and say...you happen to have some shrimp on your neck... He replies with well thank you for noticing my skin tag, I really appreciate it, I will now go home and kill myself!
I'm like so stunned and shocked! That's a skin tag? Who walks around with a skin tag the size of a shrimp while serving...shrimp?
I mean...come on dude!
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Succubus or is it Incubus?
As I was walking through the arts & crafts store,
minding my own divine business, pushing my bedazzled (with red glitter and
rhinestones) shopping cart, I felt someone watching me. Which I thought “who would even know me here?
Afterall I was incognito with my white Jackie-o’s, red feather boa, and white
linen jumpsuit.” Unlike Kirstie Alley who always makes her presence known…
Anywho… I continued to walk as I could not allow myself to
look around to find the person who was so obviously starring at Moi. Which really was nothing new, as I have grown
accustomed to the hundreds of thousands of people who merely enjoy just looking
at me.
As I made my way through the store, I realized the only way
to shake this tail was to zig zag through it. After about 4 hours of this, my legs and feet
were beginning to falter and so Moi descended to a room that is used for
classes and workshops. As I sat down,
once again I felt the presence of someone, now even closer than the previous 4
hours.
He approaches me with confidence and a gentle smile, he is
slender, standing about 5’10, thick silver hair that sported a slight wave,
inviting eyes, and spoke with an accent.
He asks… Are you a designer? I naturally replied with, but of course I
am! Which in return I asked him… I can see from your shopping cart that you are
a painter of sorts? He began to tell me of his art, the style in which he
creates in, and a bit about himself.
I sit there and find myself intrigued by this man with the
accent, if I had to guess, I would say he is Cuban or Spanish. He carries himself with a certain presence
that exudes power, status and nobility.
We exchanged an enticing conversation and then he presents
me with his calling card, and writes his personal private number on the
back. I then in return offer him mine,
and part with “I am interested in seeing your stuff, I mean your art…”
I guess a week or two passed and then one early warm and
moist evening, he calls…
I answer the phone with “ This is Divine Man, how may you
help me?” I think he was a bit taken
aback at first as there was a pause and then he spoke to me with his sexy
accented voice. Divine Man, I realize
this is such short notice but would you do me the privilege of meeting me for
wine and spirited conversation this evening?
The next thing I know we are sitting at this dahling little
wine bar, the lights are dim, soft music in the background, and we are the only
2 there(aside from the wine merchant) as if he had arranged it to be just
us. We sat there, toasted to a robust
glass of red wine, and began an exotic conversation which was jolly, and dark
all at the same time. Eventually we
ventured out onto the cobble stone streets and walked in the moonlight as the
fog slowly began to drift in. The air
was still and quiet around us, the moon was full and the shadows danced all
around us. I suddenly trip on a brick,
and he catches me and as he does our eyes lock, his arms grow strong around my
small waist and he quickly pulls me up and extremely close to him. I just stare into his piercing eyes, frozen
and unable to move, not wanting to remove myself from his clutches. He then ever so gently presses his wet lips
to mine, slowly but with intent. And
then wham! His mouth and lips and tongue go full throttle on me. It is as if he is a toilet plunger encasing
my entire mouth area, and forcing his snake like long tongue into my mouth and
down my throat, filling it with his venom.
His strong arms are securely around me, not allowing me to break
free. His hands begin to shift and he
starts to slap my perfectly shaped booty.
He pulls us into a wooded area, dark with uncertainty and
all the while I am fearing for my life, for my inners not to be sucked out of
my fabulous body. I stand there in a
trance yet, as he stands back and looks at me with eyes full of lust and hunger
for Moi.
All I can think is… Succubus or Incubus?
Timing is everything, as I am saved by the bell, so to
speak.
I manage to escape from his menacing clutches and flee the
country, no …not really, but I do flee to my penthouse and begin to pray I
never see him again.
In fact, whenever my handlers and network see him they text
me: Succubus/Incubus sighting!
Jesus Has Left The Building
Like any good story or movie, there is always plot twists, cliffhangers,
roller coasters filled with emotions, and unanswered questions…
Perhaps it was because of my insecurities with relations of
a personal nature? It’s funny really, because I can trust someone with my life,
but not with my heart?
I was beginning to realize quickly on that Jesus …. well let’s
just say this: he did not walk on water. It was more like he walked in
vodka.
I noticed more and more that he seemed to look for any
excuse to have a libation. For example:
a hang nail, having to vacuum his 12 X 12 studio apartment, comb his shaved
bald head, and many others…
Now Moi here, enjoys libations as well, but normally not
until happy hour.
With most things, there is always a price. There is always the good with the not so good.
As fun as Jesus was at times to hang out with, he was also a
tad controlling. He came from a failed
marriage, which had not yet been resolved, a job that would soon be over, and
he would be without employment, no real place to call home, an 11 yr old
daughter who is going on 17, and an arrogance that would rear its ugly head in
the form of sentences which were unwarranted.
As likeable and charming as he could be, he also made it
easy to despise him as well. I guess you
could say it was a love/hate kind of relation.
I’ve always felt that 2 people, whether it be a friendship or
relationship of any stature should bring out the best in each other, not the
worst as well.
I made a decision that would affect us both. I gave him his reason to leave, the push he
needed to remove himself. He very much
needs to find himself, find his own happiness, a place he can call home, and
sometimes that place is home.
As I reflect back on my time spent with Jesus, I can say
this: I learned things about myself, how
to reconnect with my own inner emotions, communicate better, know that when my “gut”
speaks to me, I need to listen. Since my
coma, everything is odd, different and yet still the same. Perhaps it’s not everything else, perhaps I
have changed? Perhaps I no longer need things or people to make me happy,
perhaps I just need to be happy?
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Thawing Out...
We began talking, hanging out, going to happy hours,
laughing at the stupidest things.
It was really nice feeling like I was beginning to live
again after languishing in that coma for so long. It was because of him. He pushed my boundaries, made me start to
slowly thaw. One would think it would be
so easy to thaw a frozen heart? Right? It’s not.
The 2 most unlikely people in the world to meet and build a
friendship. A friendship that would go
full steam ahead, blast on all cylinders, charge forth like a train wreck
waiting to explode!
My walls were so very high since waking up, I slowly started
remembering all the things I learned while in the coma. All the dark deceitful secrets
that had been unleashed into my ears. I
was full of pain, loss, sorrow and icey venom coursing through my veins.
No matter how much I pushed, and created distance between
us, he would push that much harder to reach me, to reach my heart and hold it
gently so that I could open up.
Hours turned into days, days turned into nights, many nights
of endless talking, laughing, crying and just letting go, being me, being
myself, flaws and all.
I only let the world see the polished, pretty, white Jackie-o,
made up in high fashion Divine Man. No
one sees what’s underneath. No one sees
how high the walls really are, the fortress of ice that I have built. No one saw it but him. Jesus, the taxi
driver.
I would soon learn that it was not just I that was afraid
to feel, to live, to care…
I had begun To Let It Go!
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Oh Jesus...the taxi driver!
Where do I begin?
When one has been in a coma for over a year, wakes up,
realizes that you have memory loss, your legs and your body are weak, your hair
is long, your roots are hanging out, and all you can remember from being in a
coma are bits and pieces of drug induced memories, or are they real?
After my first public appearance post my hospital stay, I
have begun to put my life back together, moving forward. Alone. No more sweet Diva Girl, no more Brady and his
twin Bryan. No more of the past.
I still to this day walk with a cane every now and then, I
kinda like it actually, as it accents my fabulous booty. Anywho… Recently I went out to dinner and to
have a glass of wine with my gal pal Amelia.
A little bit about her: she is Puerto Rican, a spit fire of crazy, a big
heart, and a devilish laugh!
There we were sitting off the side of the bar, relaxing and
lounging by the pool, when something walks up and blocks my view of the
moonlight. I then look up to see the man
wearing frayed black jeans, biker boots, a black lace up shirt(with a dragon
design on it) and a black b-ball cap.
Amelia and I look at each other and start laughing. I ask her… who called for the taxi? You know I have a white limo? She shook her head to tell me it was not her. So I ask the man: Whatever can I do for you
taxi driver? He smiles as he informs that he is there to meet me, and that he
is NOT a taxi driver! I inform
him….Everyone here wants to meet Moi!
He proceeds to introduce himself to me. His name is Jesus. As he says this I immediately begin to
snicker and giggle at the thought of this.
Divine Man and Jesus!
HAhAAAhAAAAA! As I giggle I knock
my martini glass over and yell out: Jesus Christ, Almighty! For the love of God! Apparently Amelia and I are the only 2
laughing.
Regardless Jesus is persistent and I think…well why not, let
him stay for a drink. What can be the harm?
The night ends and Amelia and I get into the limo, only
after Jesus pleads with me to call him and agree to go out with him for a
libation in 2 days.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
To Bidet Or Not to Bidet, That Is The Question?
So I recently had the pleasure of attending the opening of a new bistro(it was my first outing since the coma) for a brunch with about 75 of my closet peeps!
As I was sitting there enjoying this very special morning, just being there, alive, awake...signing autographs, having photo ops, air-kissing like crazy, getting a hug like every 5 minutes, and being the center of every ones universe again... all was right with the world.
I was walking with a cane as my legs had grown weak from being in the coma. My cane was rather spectacular, as it was a metallic red along the shaft, and had a rather large Diamond on the top of it. I was wearing a new outfit, which had been designed just for Moi!
My hair was down just past my perky tata's, my ass needed a slight lift, but with the help of duct tape and a new girdle I was looking radiant. My skin was clear and line free as always.
I learned that while I was in the coma, the hospital staff would call me "Sleeping Beauty" as they checked on me.
Anywho...
Our food was delivered to our table and glasses were being poured full with bubbly and everyone was laughing and rejoicing all around me. It was an exceptional moment to behold.
And then I saw him. He appeared as if out of the air.
He smiled at me, nodded his head and placed his hand on his heart. I felt my face grow warm and red, and then that old familiar sturrin' from down under...
As I arose from my seat, everyone stood up and wanted to assist Moi to the restroom. The manager of the lovely bistro offered me the use of his private restroom. I walked in smiling and wincing to try and look gracious and to stop the cramps... I locked the door behind me, and attempted to run to the toilet. I made it just in time, I guess my inners were not yet working perfectly yet. I sat there as I relieved myself, sweating and thinking......why am I always in a restaurant when this shit happens?
I soon realized in horror that there was no paper on the rolls. WTF! I had left my cell phone on the table, so there would be no S.O.S. I sat there thinking....mmmmm...Divine Man, you have been through far worse then this...so I thought... when is France, one must do what the French do... use a Bidet! I very carefully lifted my sagging ass up on top of the sink and turned the warm water on.
I gotta say, it felt amazing! It felt so good that I sat there for about 20 minutes or so....finally I realized that there were people on the other-side of the door pounding in frantic to make sure I was ok.
A Year Lost....Moving Forward
It's been 26 days since I opened my eyes on New Years Eve. My memory is a bit fuzzy, confused and trying to remember what was just dreams versus reality. Having to relive the loss of my Diva Girl all over again, coming home to an empty house, adjusting to life alone.
The night I woke up, in all the confusion of the Dr's and Nurses running around me and the machines beeping etc... I saw him standing there smiling and watching tears drip down his face. In all the commotion all I could see was him. Just him. It was as if time had stopped, the space around us was just us, and yet he was so far from me at the same time. I knew that he was with me, finally ...again after so long....
I was released from the hospital a few days later, my parents brought me to my penthouse, stayed with me until I forced them to leave. I needed time alone...funny really, I was alone for a whole year, trapped in my body. I guess I now needed to begin my life anew. Reclaim the life I had, accept what had happened, what had changed and to embrace a new chapter.
A favorite quote of mine is: When one door closes, another one opens!
Sunday, January 3, 2016
The Awakening...The Homecoming!
I held as tight as I could to his hand, And as I did my eyes began to flutter and my eye sight was blurry. It took about 200 blinks before my eyes were clear to see the man in front of me.
We were fixed on each other, our eyes locked tightly on the other and he just simply held my hands and he smiled at me.
I slowly began to move my lips and try to speak my first words in over a year. I wanted to scream out joy, laugh, giggle, for I was finally awake!
As I moved my lips I was able to slowly get out the following....Is it you, are you him?
He replied...yes my love it is me, Astor. I so very grateful to the Gods for bringing you back to me, to all of the people that love you so.
Everything happened so fast, the Doctor's were running around me, the nurses and other specialists. They made him wait out in the hallway. Not long after my parents were there at my side. We were all smiling and weeping tears of joy. My Mom and Dad were simply glowing with pure joy.
Once they stopped holding me like they were gonna choke me I began to focus my thoughts...
I asked " How is Iris"? how's my baby? How is my Diva Girl?
Friday, January 1, 2016
The Awakening...A Love Beyond Time...SOMETHING amazing...
He seemed to come and go, he did not stay away more then what I felt was minutes. He kept coming back to me. He took my hands in his tightly. He spoke of: You need to remember how our love began...We met a number of centuries ago, we were both young, 20 and 24. I fell in love with you the moment we met. Our eyes met, locked for what seemed like hours.
I courted you, pursued you for weeks, and you pretended not to be intrigued with me, alas you were. We saw each other weekly, then day by day, and then one particular night...I arranged for you to meet me for dinner via a horse drawn sleigh. The snow was falling gently that night, you arrived and walked out of the sleigh.
You were a vision in a red gown, with detailed beading and your hair was curled up on your head of perfection. We had dinner and then went back to my Inn. We proceeded to make love for the first time.
Please wake up my love, please return to me. Please ....Our Love is ....A Love Beyond Time.
As he sat there holding my hands, I realized there was a chime that had begun to ring, It was New Years Eve...
At that moment my body felt energized and renewed, I was remembering him, me, us... our life together, and then...
He bent down to my face, his warmth and scent were intoxicating as was the heat from his lips as they slowly met mine. He gently began to press his moist lips against mine. His lips touched mine and we connected in that powerful moment. SOMETHING amazing began to travel through my entire body, and the climax was in his lips against mine.
As I laid there, by eyes began to flutter, one by one my left eye opened, as did my right.
I laid there with my eyes wide open looking deeply into his...
The alarms blared all around us, and he sat there holding me now in his arms.
Happy New Year 2016
I courted you, pursued you for weeks, and you pretended not to be intrigued with me, alas you were. We saw each other weekly, then day by day, and then one particular night...I arranged for you to meet me for dinner via a horse drawn sleigh. The snow was falling gently that night, you arrived and walked out of the sleigh.
You were a vision in a red gown, with detailed beading and your hair was curled up on your head of perfection. We had dinner and then went back to my Inn. We proceeded to make love for the first time.
Please wake up my love, please return to me. Please ....Our Love is ....A Love Beyond Time.
As he sat there holding my hands, I realized there was a chime that had begun to ring, It was New Years Eve...
At that moment my body felt energized and renewed, I was remembering him, me, us... our life together, and then...
He bent down to my face, his warmth and scent were intoxicating as was the heat from his lips as they slowly met mine. He gently began to press his moist lips against mine. His lips touched mine and we connected in that powerful moment. SOMETHING amazing began to travel through my entire body, and the climax was in his lips against mine.
As I laid there, by eyes began to flutter, one by one my left eye opened, as did my right.
I laid there with my eyes wide open looking deeply into his...
The alarms blared all around us, and he sat there holding me now in his arms.
Happy New Year 2016
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