An Explosive Date

Have you ever been on a blind date? Has your best friend ever known you well enough not to arrange a blind date for you? Or think that the reason why you look unhappy during lunch at your favorite bistro is because you have been without a date in months? When really in fact the truth is you are just extremely constipated. Haven’t had a good BM in 4 days. The reason your facial expression implies your sadness of the lack of your love life and the “dating pool” is because dating is kind of like being constipated. Nothing happens for days, no dates, no movement, not even a glimmer of those sturrin’s and urges and then out of no where, like a shiny penny glistening in the hot sunlight and that’s when it happens, the moment you have been waiting for. The most intense BM. Kind of like meeting the date of your dreams. Explosive!

So, one of my best friend’s decides to arrange a blind date for moi, as if Divine Man needs assistance in that department. Ok maybe I do just a teeney weeney bit-but only because I spend all my free time entertaining you fine people on this ever so divine blog.

Anyhow, Brady decides to plan the big event…The Blind Date! Now as you know I am currently not in a good way if you know what I mean….remember the 4 day no BM thing? Yeah, that’s right. But I am a good sport and how can I let Brady down? After all he is always encouraging me to date, meet people and enjoy life. So I can see the expression on his face as he hands me a folded piece of rosey pink paper(kind of like the color of the lenses in his bi-focals) as his eyes are all sparkly like a kid on Christmas! I take the paper from his hand and unfold it to find 2 things…a name and a phone number.

As my ever so manicured hands hold the paper and the phone as it is ringing the “mystery date” I take the paper and fold it back up and put it in my knock of Prada man purse and take my right hand and almost cradle my perfectly shaped stomach. Cradling my stomach as if there is a life inside of me…which would explain the twinges and movements.

The call makes the somewhat desired connection and a rather nice calming sexy voice answers with “ Hello, I have been anticipating your call…