What started out as a just another Sunday for Moi, with the usual routine in the morning. First I slowly awake and fluttering each eye ever so delicately so as not to overwhelm my baby blues with the bright morning sun. I then ever so gently lower my pedicured feet and step into my gemstone embossed red slippers and gather up my long flowing red robe, feathers and all.
I am sitting in my living room, comfy on my chaise lounge admiring my stunning profile in the mirror I so strategically placed opposite the chaise lounge. As I lay there looking Divine and enjoying my Mimosa from the freshly squeezed blood oranges I special ordered for just a morning like this. The phone rings, it is my Mother- Tulips! She tells me that Big Daddy is out for the day and that I should come over for drinks and a lite brunch around 11:00 a.m. and that we will conclude with a stroll.
Tulips, my Mother is a brunette with a striking white streak at her front hairline, with fair skin, not a line on her face and sparkly blue eyes! She is a saintly simple woman with a great amount of love, respect and dignity about her. However, she also has a wild fun streak in her as well. We enjoy a lovely brunch and a few sloe gin fizzes, which are rather refreshing on a nice warm fall day. And they kind of make you a bit fizzy/buzzed. Tulips tells me about her friend Lucinda whom is a bit of a trollop at times. Long legs, perky tatas, flaming red hair(dyed) and a bit of a wide ass! Anyways it seems she has gotten herself in a bit of a situation. She went out on one of her binges and now has a tattoo of some guys penis on her backside that reads “Lil D”
And can not remember whose “Lil D” it is.
We decide to go for our stroll, the sun is shining and the birds are chirping with excitement. As we walk along, looking fabulous of course, I notice there is some noise ahead and it seems to be coming from the bushes on the right. It is the sound of rustling leaves, twitching branches and as we approach closer there seems to be some ever so soft moaning of sorts. I quickly glance at Mother and she moves in closer to hear. The moaning gets louder and more rapid. In a fast second a man emerges from the bushes, the sun light spraying rays of light all around him, as our eyes begin to focus on his face, bare shoulders, arms and chest. And what a sexy, defined, hairy chest is it. His eyes meet ours and stands there almost in shock, as Tulips and I stare back at the naked man. Our eyes begin to lower to his broad muscular mid torso and then I do a double take and pat my mother on the arm and say “Ma, have you ever seen such enormous balls on a human man before? Tulips replies with “they are so BIG, I mean my god, no wonder the poor man was moaning, can you imagine walking around with those things, day after day? I wonder if he has bad chafing? Mother, I say “they are freaking huge-bigger then grapefruits” Mother adds “They are like coconuts…dam I wish I liked coconuts! Hell they are melons….and you know how much I love sucking on melons!
And within a flash, a streak, the sexy man with the massive balls(and a bit hairy might I add) took off in a sprint and we noticed there was something written across his bare backside…it read “1 800 big balls”
If you ever find yourself looking face to balls with a man of such massive proportions just remember…be Divine and think “what would Divine Man and Tulips do?”
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1 comment:
Love it...especially the "1-800-Big Balls" Maybe someone ought to give that number a call!! So sounds like mother also was enchanted by the big balls. Keep the big balls coming or should I say anecdotes.
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