Joe...A Bit OCD

Dear Divine Man,

First I want to tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog. You have given me something special to look forward to every week.

Second I have a growing concern with my 17 year old son. It seems my son has been coming to my place during the day during the lunch hour with his guy friend that is gay. Now I have no issue with him having a gay friend or them hanging out here. But what I am concerned about is the fact when I get home after work the pillows and comforter on my bed are not where I positioned them in the morning. And I know this because I am a bit OCD I guess about this.

I consider myself a bi-man. His mother and I got divorced this recently and I had a wonderful guy in my life that I neglected or maybe I mistreated in some way. He gave me my walking papers. Which I deserve, my son and my ex bf got along well. My son even opened up a bit with him about his thoughts and feelings. My concern is that maybe he is gay or is exploring his sexuality and it is in my bed. And I wish he would open up to me about whatever it is that he is dealing with. And how do I call my ex and ask him if he knows anything that can help me?

What should I do? Help me please.

Joe
　

Joe, Joe, Joe…

Let me get this clear…you were married and had a BF at the same time? Could this be why you are no longer married? Regardless…

Moi feels you need to do this one with your son’s Mother and openly discuss your concerns with your son. Make it a relaxed atmosphere, perhaps over dinner(Moi’s family has had a lot of sex talks with food present) or doing it casually. That way no one has to feel nervous. Talk about it, give him a chance to express what he is feeling and thinking.

Or

You can contact the wonderful man you neglected and beg for his help. Sometimes a neutral party is the best route to take? Whatever you decide, always know your own actions are what your own child sees and hears. Something to think about.
　
All the best!
D.M.