The Healing Power Of The Season!

Three years ago, a little boy and his grandmother came to see Santa at the Mayfair Mall in Wisconsin . The child climbed up on his lap, holding a picture of a little girl. "Who is this?" asked Santa, smiling. "Your friend?" Your sister?
"Yes, Santa," he replied. "My sister, Sarah, who is very sick," he said sadly.
Santa glanced over at the grandmother who was waiting nearby, and saw her dabbing her eyes with a tissue.
"She wanted to come with me to see you, oh, so very much, Santa!"
The child exclaimed. "She misses you," he added softly.
Santa tried to be cheerful and encouraged a smile to the boy's face, asking him what he wanted Santa to bring him for Christmas. When they finished their visit, the Grandmother came over to help the
Child off his lap, and started to say something to Santa, but halted. "What is it?" Santa asked warmly.
"Well, I know it's really too much to ask you, Santa, but ..." the old woman began, shooing her grandson over to one of Santa's elves to collect the little gift which Santa gave all his young visitors.
"The girl in the photograph .. My granddaughter .. well, you see .. she has leukemia and isn't expected to make it even through the Holidays," she said through tear-filled eyes. "Is there any way, Santa .... any possible way that you could come see Sarah? That's all she's asked for, for Christmas, is to see Santa."
Santa blinked and swallowed hard and told the woman to leave information with his elves as to where Sarah was, and he would see what he could do. Santa thought of little else the rest of that afternoon. He knew what he had to do. "What if it were MY child lying in that Hospital bed, dying," he thought with a sinking heart, "this is the Least I can do."
When Santa finished visiting with all the boys and girls that evening, he retrieved from his helper the name of the hospital where Sarah was staying. He asked the assistant location manager how to get to Children's Hospital.
"Why?" Rick asked, with a puzzled look on his face.
Santa relayed to him the conversation with Sarah's grandmother earlier that day. "C'mon .... I'll take you there," Rick said softly.
Rick drove them to the hospital and came inside with Santa.
They found out which room Sarah was in. A pale Rick said he would wait out in the hall.
Santa quietly peeked into the room through the half-closed door and saw little Sarah on the bed. The room was full of what appeared to be her family; there was the Grandmother and the girl's brother he had met earlier that day.
A woman whom he guessed was Sarah's mother stood by the bed, gently pushing Sarah's thin hair off her forehead.
And another woman who he discovered later was Sarah's aunt, sat in a chair near the bed with weary, sad look on her face. They were talking quietly, and Santa could sense the warmth and closeness of the family, and their love and concern for Sarah.
Taking a deep breath, and forcing a smile on his face, Santa entered the room, bellowing a hearty, "Ho, ho, ho!"
"Santa!" shrieked little Sarah weakly, as she tried to escape her bed to run to him, IV tubes in tact.
Santa rushed to her side and gave her a warm hug. A child the tender age of his own son -- 9 years old -- gazed up at him with wonder and excitement. Her skin was pale and her short tresses bore telltale bald patches from the effects of chemotherapy. But all he saw when he looked at her was a pair of huge, blue eyes.
His heart melted, and he had to force himself to choke back tears.
Though his eyes were riveted upon Sarah's face, he could hear the gasps and quiet sobbing of the women in the room. As he and Sarah began talking, the family crept quietly to the bedside one by one, squeezing Santa's shoulder or his hand gratefully, whispering "thank you" as they gazed sincerely at him with shining eyes.
Santa and Sarah talked and talked, and she told him excitedly all the toys she wanted for Christmas, assuring him she'd been a very good girl that year.
As their time together dwindled, Santa felt led in his spirit to pray for Sarah, and asked for permission from the girl's mother. She nodded in agreement and the entire family circled around Sarah's bed, holding hands. Santa looked
intensely at Sarah and asked her if she believed in angels.
"Oh , yes, Santa ... I do!" she exclaimed.
"Well, I'm going to ask that angels watch over you, "he said.
Laying one hand on the child's head, Santa closed his eyes and prayed.
He asked that God touch little Sarah, and heal her body from this disease.
He asked that angels minister to her, watch and keep her. And when he finished praying, still with eyes closed, he started singing softly,
"Silent Night, Holy Night - all is calm, all is bright."
The family joined in, still holding hands, smiling at Sarah, and crying tears of hope, tears of joy for this moment, as Sarah beamed at them all.
When the song ended, Santa sat on the side of the bed again and held Sarah's frail, small hands in his own.
"Now, Sarah," he said authoritatively, "you have a job to do, and that is to concentrate on getting well. I want you to have fun playing with your friends this summer, and I expect to see you at my house at Mayfair Mall this time next year!"
He knew it was risky proclaiming that, to this little girl who had terminal cancer, but he "had" to.
He had to give her the greatest gift he could -- not dolls or games or toys -- but the gift of HOPE.
"Yes, Santa!" Sarah exclaimed, her eyes bright.
He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead and left the room.
Out in the hall, the minute Santa's eyes met Rick's, a look passed between them and they wept unashamed. Sarah's mother and grandmother slipped out of the room quickly and rushed to Santa's side to thank him.
"My only child is the same age as Sarah," he explained quietly.
"This is the least I could do." They nodded with understanding and hugged him.
One year later, Santa Mark was again back on the set in Milwaukee for his six-week, seasonal job which he so loves to do. Several weeks
went by and then one day a child came up to sit on his lap.
"Hi, Santa! Remember me?!"
"Of course, I do," Santa proclaimed (as he always does), smiling down at her.
After all, the secret to being a "good" Santa is to always make each child feel as if they are the "only" child in the world at that moment.
"You came to see me in the hospital last year!" Santa's jaw dropped.
Tears immediately sprang in his eyes, and he grabbed this little miracle and held her to his chest. "Sarah!" he exclaimed. He scarcely recognized her, for her hair was long and silky and her cheeks were rosy -- much different from the little girl he had visited just a year before. He looked over and saw Sarah's mother and grandmother in the sidelines smiling and waving and wiping their eyes.
That was the best Christmas ever for Santa Claus.
He had witnessed --and been blessed to be instrumental in bringing about -- this miracle of hope. This precious little child was healed.
Cancer-free. Alive and well.
He silently looked up to Heaven and humbly whispered, "Thank You Father. ' Tis a very, Merry Christmas!"

Author Unknown

Happy Re-Birthday!

Do you think it is possible to grow overnight?

I don't mean physically, but mentally.  For me, it has been more then just one night....

Over the past few weeks whenever I am at work, or at home I have noticed myself feeling taller.  Walking taller, with a freshness to each step.  I have felt happy, content, attractive, like something is changing within me.  My walk has changed.  When I leave work I find myself smiling, and not because I am done for the day, but because of what I did all day!

I have re-discovered my passion.  What I so love doing, and I must say...I am very talented with what I am doing.  I have been designing florals and home/office accents for many, many, many years.  As you look at me...you think "this Divine Man can't be more then 25, but alas, I am!"

Perhaps the combination of losing weight, having a purpose each day, and doing what I love has me feeling really good inside?

I have suffered greatly, been torn apart...well no more.

This is the dawn of a new chapter in my life.  And I think today is a great day to start a re-birth.  My Birthday!  From this point on, I am going to do what makes me happy.  Not what I think will make others happy, but what makes my heart smile.  I no longer care if I measure up to others ideas of me or standards.

I do have a goal!

I have a concept!



Happy Re-Birthday Divine Man!

A Tropical Holiday!

Each year, Moi creates new and wondrous holiday trimmings!  Last year was gold, copper and champagne inside, outside was red and lime green!  So I designed this year to switch the two around!

For my inside trees, I wanted tall and slim ones, but could not justify spending the money on fake trees, so I built my own.  The trees started out as 4ft. entry way trees.

 Then I thought...ummmm "I can make them 8ft. tall!  With a little magic!
And presto!

I spiral wrapped a 9ft. plush pine garland around the tree and hung the top from the ceiling using fish line!
Then I began trimming them!

Everything is all done, trimmed and ready for Better Homes & Gardens!

Happy Holiday Trimming!

Lemons?

Have you ever experienced a lack of words?  As if your mind is empty, your thoughts all seem to disappear?  

Over the past few months Moi has been living life, trying to anyways…a lot of serious things have gone down, loss, sadness, anger, health issues, etc…
I have felt uninspired, tired, torn down a bit.  

Recently I had a dream that everywhere I looked, there were lemons.  I realized that as I saw each lemon, there were flashes, recaps of the past months being flashed in front of me.  I stood there with a sour bitter taste in my mouth and realized what I needed to do.

When life throws you lemons…well most make lemonade!  Moi on the other hand decided to make lemon drop martini’s!  That is when the change for the better began to happen!

Since Moi started sipping on my lemon drops instead of spitting the bitterness out of my perfection of a mouth, I have embraced those lemons.  

I guess that ole’ saying is true…How do you look at that martini glass?  Is it half full or half empty?  Moi says filler’ up!  Just think when the glass is half full, there is always room for more! 

What I have learned or re-learned over the past months is:  When you experience a death of a good person, let yourself walk through the grief, don’t try to hide from it.  It will find you.  Just walk the line!  

Always know your self worth!  After all you are DIVINE!  

When you are faced with a medical issue, look forward to the positive side, remember…there are 2 sides to everything.  Since my treatment…I have dropped 23 pounds!  I feel and look healthier and happier!  

When you think you have nothing, that is when you have to look even harder in the Wizard’s Black Bag!  

Willard "The Rat" Romney

Mitt Romney, tell me and the rest of the Americans... how would you have handled the country back in 2008 after your buddy wrecked and ignored this once great country. Only to make his "Daddy" happy and proud to catch a mad man only because Bush Senior could not. So instead of dealing with wars brewing in our own country like Bullying, Child Molestation, Rape, Murder, Mass Shootings, etc...tell the world an honest answer for once...How would you have handled the economy crashing all thanks to the Bush administration? What would you have done differently? How would you, little ole' you have brought the economy back to full force in just only 4 years? Would you have donated half of your millions to do so from your off shore accounts? 
Is it not only fair to rebuild middle America? and force the Wealthy to pay the same taxes as those less fortunate? How would you have turned the country around in 4 years after allowing the country to fail for 8 years? 

Why is it everyone blames Obama for this? if, IF you are elected President, you will now get a head start on rebuilding the economy thanks to Obama. 

Maybe I need to remind the nation that it took many years to build Egypt. It was not built over night. 

Like anything that is worth fighting for, it takes time, and it takes a team. So maybe instead of tearing Obama and his administration apart, maybe...just maybe...you should work together to create a team, a team worth believing in, a nation to believe in...again.

Because the more you slander, the dumber you look. 

And start actually listening to the people, not just Republicans with money, but EVERYONE. 

I challenge you. 

Will you hear my words, most likely not. But it is worth a try.

Divine Man

Tropical Paradise FOR SALE!

                  Tropical Paradise For Sale in Clearwater, Florida!Open to best offer!  

COMPLETELY RENOVATED 2 bedrm/2 bath, Great Rm, walk thru kitchen with counter, dining rm. car port for 2 midsized cars, NEW enclosed patio/Florida Rm, All appliances. UPDATES: freshly painted with tropical colors, earth tones, new carpet both bedrms , new vinyl in updated bathrms, fixtures/fans, new flooring thru out, ALL NEW energy efficient vinyl windows from Home Depot.
Double wide home 24x44 with 12x16 add on, Central Air/Heat two yrs young, Underneath just recently insulated and vapor sealed, roof recoated in white elasomeric roof coating, private back yard (no one behind you) or directly across from you in front. In PET FRIENDLY SECTION if you have one.
La Plaza Community Park--email for more info. Quiet, with pool, clubhouse etc. Close to Hwy 19 and off East Bay Dr., less than 20 mins to Tampa and St Pete...theater, Publix, dining close by.
OPEN TO BEST OFFER. most furniture included with options available. More Pics available!!!!! 

Black Draught, makes you smile from the inside out!

What does one do when he/she is experiencing a draught with their sex life?  Some people buy a dildo, some buy gummy bears, while others take cold showers.  Not Moi, no sir, I decided to get a Colonoscopy!  That’s right my draught was so dry that I thought…why not?

I realized the only way to get to the “bottom” of this was to take it “head on!”

After a number of months constantly running to the throne I finally pushed my fears aside and decided that it was time to go see Dr. Feel Good again.  I should have known that something was not right the night of The Explosive Date, but no Moi just thought I was eating to much cabbage or something?

So I hobble on in to see Dr. Feel Good.  He puts me under and while he does so, I dream of wondrous things.  Of sugar plums and faeries, or was it chiseled bare chested nurses?  Not really sure, everything is a bit hairy…no pun intended!

As I start to awaken and as my beautiful blue eyes begin to flutter open, I realize that maybe it was not a dream after all, because sitting upright in the bed next to me was the most perfect man Moi has ever seen.  He had dark wavy hair, a killer smile, muscled and chiseled abs.  His arms were huge and bulging, as was his….legs, yeah that’s it, his legs!  As I tried to move in my bed and sit up as I starred at him and felt my face smile, and then I noticed water dripping and sliding down my chin.  He was still sitting there starring towards me, smiling and obviously happy to see me.  That’s when I heard the noise from behind me.  I turned my head to see what it was, to my surprise and shock, there stood a very sexy woman in a rather short and revealing nurse’s uniform.

It turns out that while Moi was sedated during the procedure that Brady and Tulips volunteered Moi to be in a commercial.  I guess all the crew needed was a sleeping bloated body that looked like road kill to complete their shoot.

It was a commercial called:  “Black Draught” makes you smile from the inside out!

Black Draught is a freakin’ laxative, as if Moi needs one of those!
Just remember, when you find yourself with a scope up your ass and down your throat, things will get better.  After all it could be worse, the scope could get lost up there!

Dating And Being Single!

I have straight friends and I have Gay/Lesbian friends.  Most of my friends are married, dating someone, partnered and then there are a few that mingle single.

Recently one of my mingle single friends asked me if I thought the dating world was the same for straight people?  So I got thinking...

I have seen and held many of my straight pals hands while they date, mingle single, breakup, marry, date, breakup, marry, etc...

Also I have held many hands, purses, feather boas, and hair up while my Gay/Lesbian pals date, 
mingle single,breakup, marry, date, breakup, marry, etc...
So really dating is the same, regardless of your sexual preference.

My brother and his wife dated, brokeup, disliked each other, screwed around, had an STD, dated each other, brokeup and got pregnant.  Then they got married and now have 3 boys.  They have their share of ups and downs.

As for one of my Gay friends, he and his BF have been "together" for 20 years.  They live together, yet sleep in seperate beds, share finances, bills, etc... they have had their disagreements, ups and downs and are still together.  Which this tale needs to be shared at another time.

My point is, dating and being single is rather the same for everyone, the rules really are not all that different.  Every person and every couple experience pain, love, and everything in between.

Go forth, date, love, hurt, laugh and cry!

Embarrassing Moment, my ass!

I was recently asked what Divine Man’s most embarrassing moment was?
This was asked in front of a classroom full of writing students.

My reply was:  Moi has had so many of them!  But let me see…which one do I share with you first?

“Picture It” it is 1998, a cold night in November.  I am watching Melrose Place and as you know, there is nothing more sinful then watching MP while eating cheesecake!  I decide that during the commercials I would go slip into my PJ‘s(which is a night shirt).  After that I go and get myself a bottle of water from the refridge.  I then go back to the TV and sit down on the floor.  As I continue to watch MP another commercial is on.  All I remember is that it is funny, and I start laughing.  As my laughter gains momentum…it happens so fast-gas is released from my perfectly shaped ass.  What a buzz kill!  But I figure oh well, no one heard this indiscretion but Moi!  MP starts and I continue to sit there and watch all the scandal, sex and lies unfold in front of my eyes.

It is about 8:40pm and I have another 20 minutes to go.  I realize that my water is gone and need a night cap!  So I get up and I notice an odor…I start sniffing and think it must be from the fart.  I brush it off and get some bathroom air freshener.  I do so carefully as I like to watch TV in the dark, Moi comes back into the family room and sprays the air.  I think get a night cap and return to my spot on the floor.

Five, ten minutes pass and again I can smell the odor.  So I spray more freshener.  I don’t remember the ending of the episode.  All I remember is waking up to all these bright lights and my parents, my brother and his GF all standing around me.  I immediately smell that awful odor and start looking at my legs, my night shirt, and that’s when I touch it.  As I pull my fingers away from my booty and where I was sitting…I am mortified to discover poop on my fingers.

It turns out that when I laughed so hard earlier, my fart was a wet one.  It came out so easy and fast.  I never noticed it.  Now it was smeared all over my ass, PJ’s, the carpet, etc…

So whenever you think you have just done something embarrassing…unless you have crapped yourself in front of others, just know it could be worse.

Good Ole' Charlie...R.I.P. 2012

On thursday August 9th, 2012 the County of Fond du Lac, WI and various parts of the world lost one hell of a great man!  He was driving home from the State Fair with two friends, and his two Grand-Daughters(whom he took there everyyear) as he drove them all back home, he suffered a massive heart attack and did not survive.
Moi was very fortunate to know him.  His name is Charlie, Charlie Burnett.  He was...is a very talented man, with mechanics, computers and much much more.  He was... is a very loving father, grandparent, friend...
It's no secret that I did not always approve of some of Big Daddies friends' but Charlie was the exception.
My earliest memories of him take me back to when I was a teenager.  For a number of years he would take me to his country acreage each November so that I could cut down a fresh pine tree for the Holidays.
I never told him this, but one summer when I was 19, maybe 20...I suffered a bout with depression, he took my parents and I to his cabin, and we stayed there over-night.  The next day he presented me with a purpose.  I got onto the thatched roof and removed every single pine needle from it.  It was layered a few inches thick with needles.  For some unknown reason that gave me a sense of purpose, challenge, it was rewarding when I finished.  So I thank you for that.  Thank You Charlie.
Charlie has been a very good friend to my Dad(since they were young men) and to my Mother.   Whatever he could do for them, he did.
Every single time I have ever seen him, whether in his Auto Garage business, under a car, or at a social function...his eyes always have had a sparkle in them.  Not many people have that, but he did.
I always thought of him as "Doc in Back To The Future" -he somehow always reminded me of that character.
His wife, Nancy was ill for many years, and he basically raised their daughter, Holly- on his own.   I have always held much respect for him.  He raised her, and loved her and her children like mad.  He spoke of them alot.  I also respect him for remaining faithful to his ailing wife.  Most men would not.  He was one of the good guys.
Rest Peacefully, You WILL always be in our thoughts and memories!

Mingle Single Events

For those of you that do not know, Moi has been diligently working with beads of perspiration streaming down my flawless head and dripping between my ….fingers as I have been typing away like a chicken on the rag!  The past few months I have been creating and polishing my new business venture!

After attempting to work for a matchmaking firm in the Tampa Bay area I got thinking…Seeing as how this firm can not get it together, I might as well as do it on my own, Moi style!  And so the conception of Mingle Single Events was created.

I was called “home” to tend to some family business and thought …”hey maybe I should start MSE there?”

Divine Man has been busy as a wet beaver trying to build a new home, all the while the currents are pushing me down stream.  It as if a unknown force is telling me…go back to hence you came from!  Which really is in Wisconsin.  So here I am folks feeling like a drowning beaver.  But, never the less Moi shall prevail, I might be a wet beaver, but this beaver is divine!  The most divine one you will ever have the pleasure of meeting!

So if you are single, new to Wisconsin, fresh out of a relationship, a single professional, looking to socialize with other fabulous singles…look no further…

www.minglesingleevents.com   is the place to go…and MEMBERSHIP IS FREE!!!

Also you can find more stories there that will surely make you smile!

Talk About Your Quickie!

When there is a spark, instant chemistry between 2 people and you mistakenly think that an evening of wild sexual erotica is the basis for  a happy and long marriage…well chances are you are wrong!

I recently took on a side gig doing flowers for a wedding.  I am not really sure why these two people were entering into a lifelong commitment exactly?  The wedding was all planned in a matter of 3 weeks.  Talk about your quickie!  Whew!  So I went to the wedding site with all the fresh floral arrangements.  The Bride and Groom emerged looking hung-over, and all she could say was…”how pretty” “Oh it looks soooo pretty!”  I do not think she knew any other vocabulary.  He(the Groom) was smoking and enjoying a glass of beer at 10am.

The father of the Bride was outside in his garage enjoying a home made and rolled joint!  This all added to the ambiance to the backyard wedding!  I was instructed to cover the chairs with white chair covers, they were VERY wrinkled.  As I was doing this, I stepped in dog poop!  This was the breaking point for me.  Between the joint in the garage, the hung-over couple, the wrinkled lines, the dog poop and the food fit for a cookout….well I left!   I later learned that the wedding party ended at 8:45pm so that they could go bar hopping.

The lesson I have learned and want to share with you is:  if you want a quickie, that is fine, but do not turn it into a marriage.  Because before the pregnancy test can be read, the marriage will be over.

Take you time when you meet another person, date, talk, court him/her.  Go out and explore life together, enjoy the romance and make sure not to step in dog poop along the way!

Him or Them, A Guy In Love with Him...

Dear Divine Man,


I am a 25 year old male, a professional(teacher) and jewish.  My family is small, Father, Mother and a older sister who is married.  I have always been a religious person.  My faith has always been steadfast, and family is vital to my existence.  


However I have been living a lie for many years, and I feel compelled to free my life of such a lie and be free, to be who… what I am.  


I am gay, and I recently met this beautiful man whom has awaken me as if for the first time.  He has made me come alive and allows me to feel the freedom I so desperately desire.  On our first date I showed him the college I attended and played him a song on the piano in the music room.  After a few dates, I gathered the courage and kissed him.  It was pure magic!  Each kiss has only gotten more intense with each passing day, night, and date.  


Recently I took him to dinner to meet my very best friends.  It was a great evening.  There is something magical about him, he is so magnetic, so full of warmth and charisma.  He is what I call a “unique gem” in this life.  


Sadly, I am torn by my true love for him and by my love for my parents.  They expect me to be “their straight jewish boy.”  Whereas he loves me for me, for who… what I am. I am a gay male who is in love with a very special guy.  My parents are pressuring me, I am no longer welcomed at temple, and feel as if I am being crucified for being happy and in love.  What do I do?


I feel as if I have to choose them or him.


Help me.


So “Gay Teacher in Need of Help”…………

As for Moi who knows all about love, life and well did I say love?  Moi knows you love him in your mind, maybe in your heart.  But, if you truly love him then be with him.  Don’t think you are going to spare him a lifetime of this pain.  Guess what, if he loves you like you love him, the pain of not being together will be far more damaging.  Give him some credit.  Is he religious?

Have your parents met him and have you given them time to understand your love for him?  To get to know the real you and him?  This is no longer about you and your folks, this is now about another person…him.  He is innocent in this, he loves you for you.

Do you really love him, or do you just love the idea of him and that he is letting you be you?  If you love him, be honest to him, to you, and then your parents.

You need to truly love yourself for who…what you are(as you put it) before you can love another.  Take time to learn about you, him, your feelings, beliefs, what is important in the big picture and what you are willing to sacrifice.  Which no one should ever have to sacrifice one love for another love.

It is called love after all.  Let it go around.

Fleas Of A Thousand Camels!

Have you ever known someone that always seems to really piss you off?  No matter what they do, say, wear, they just always seem to be able to piss you off?

Have you ever gone to work or school or wherever it is that you go or do and your day is going along swimmingly perfect when all of a sudden…that one person decides to piss you off?  and they do this without thinking.  Without thinking about how their lack of respect will effect you?

“Picture It” a lovely spring day, the birds are chirping, the sky is clear and blue with not a cloud in it.  The sun is shining, as the warm breeze lazily blows around your neck and under your arms allowing the moisture to dry some before entering what has always been your favorite store.  You walk in and are greeted by smiles, waves, cameras flashing and everyone is happy with excitement because Moi has arrived!

Anyways…I am walking along and my phone rings…Hello Brady, what’s up?  Got your thumb up your ass?  Heheeheee!!!  No, Divine Man I do not…Brady replies with.  So what can Moi do for you?  Did my absentee ballot come yet?  NO!   As the proud American that Moi is, I look forward to election day!  Whether it be local, state, or national.  A few weeks ago I requested for an absentee ballot to be sent to Moi as I was feeling like a recluse lately(bloating, water retention, etc) and did not want to be seen.  So I sent the proper forms to my city clerk(this was in march).  It is now May 5th and today is election day.  And guess what, do you think Moi ever got the dam ballot?  NO.

This morning I wrote a letter to the evil city clerk that she is:

I mailed you my application for the absentee ballot for today’s election in early spring.  I never received it.  


On April 27th I called you. You did not ask for my name, nothing.  You dismissed me.  You were very rude.  All I simply wanted was to know why I have never received my ballot.  


As an American I have the right and the privilege to vote.   


I hope this does not continue to happen.  Please be sure that my future absentee ballots are mailed to me.    
Have a lovely day! 

I ask myself…what would Sofia(Golden Girls) do?  She would hex a Sicilian curse on her!   So this is what I say:

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch!

He's Got His Thumb Up His Ass!

Do you ever wonder where the phrase “he’s got his thumb up his ass” came from? Or what it really means?

Well let Moi here tell you what it really means, in only the divine way that I possibly can!

“Picture It” Thursday afternoon at 3pm, the day has been busy, full of excitement, the sun is out, and I am walking out to the white limo. Moi is heading to a fan event! As I step into the limo and sit down I realize I forgot my white Jackie-o’s inside the house. So I open the door and stepped out not realizing my right thumb was dragging behind and decided it would rather be stuck in the door! It happened so fast, one minute my thumb is up my ass, the next minute it is in the door being smashed until the blood is oozing out from under the nail. The pain was not instant, it was more like a delayed reaction.

As I pull it out slowly I starting chanting and praying that the nail is still attached. As I stand there in a slow motion moment as the music from “The Six Million Dollar Man & The Bionic Woman echoed in my head” I stare at my thumb. The nail is still attached.

It is then I start screaming “Brady, where the hell are you?” Why are you not holding the door open for Moi? This would not of happened if I had kept my thumb up my ass! But noooo, I had to open my own dam door!

Can you believe it? Open my own dam door? HA! Well needless to say, this is and will be the only time Moi opens my own door! EVVVER!

Moi thinks that the phrase “he’s got his thumb up his ass” has strong meaning and should not be laughed at or ridiculed so easy. Infact had I left my thumb up my ass it would not have been smashed in the door and I would still be able to have it up my ass or be able to use it. Instead it is wrapped in a bandage slowly healing. The nail is now black and blue with a strange hue of red mixed in there.

So just remember, it is ok to have your thumb up your ass, at least there no harm can come to it!

　

　

Bologna, Egg on the face, and Moi's Fat A_ _!

You all must be thinking that Divine Man is dead! Or that I got stuck on my toilet, not the case…in fact Moi has been very, very, very busy!

It seems as if each winter my ass blows up like a balloon! And before I know it I am sitting taller!

I started drinking 3 quarts of water each day, sometimes 4! However, Moi must make sure that I am close to the powder room or there is warm water all over! In addition to that, Moi is simply eating beef bologna, light mayo and whole wheat bread. This is a sure fire way to drop those pesky winter pounds(speaking from past experience)!

Aside from my fat ass, I must say my skin has never looked better, tanner and more radiant then it does after slapping egg whites on it for an hour a day!

In between my egg treatments and bologna sandwiches Moi has been lending a hand to www.mytampadating.com

Life has been full of parties, events, holidays and lots of mirror time as of late! I mean…St. Patty’s Day! Moi cooked and prepared Corned Beef Brisket, an all green salad, sauerkraut, boiled cabbage, potato croquets, and green punch with a kick!

On Easter Moi decided to stay home and do the whole 9 yards! In the morning I stuffed a 8 pound chicken with homemade wild mushroom dressing, and covered the bird with my own special “rub” which is: Cinnamon, Curry, Thyme, Cracked Peppercorn, Garlic, Basil. Rub the bird top and bottom! Then into the oven it goes. Next Moi prepared a 7 pound Ham and soaked it in ginger ale and beer for 2 hours in the crock pot. I decided to add a salad to the list of sides. Moi made Apple Waldorf Salad for the first time! It was sinful! Then I made glazed carrots, and “my special sweat trailer park potato au gratin layered casserole!”

It was a lovely day! My 84 year old neighbor, Karl came, he is very perky! And my Lesbian neighbor, Dee Delicious came! With a bag of wine!

Moi has missed you, and is back in action!

　

　

An EBT Card, Fire Starters and 2 Teeth!

There I was, standing the checkout line at the grocery store when a man’s voice from behind started, as I turned around I realized he was talking to Moi… he asked if I could give him my $20.00 bill I held in my hands in exchange for the use of his shiny new EBT card. I looked at him for a second and replied with…no, as my nostrils began to take in the odor that seemed to permeate from his clothing. His clothes and breath reeked of cigarettes and booze. He began to tell me he had a sick girlfriend and baby. So I asked him “if your EBT card had money on it, then why would you need my cold hard cash?” He did not answer. Then began to get vulgar with me as if HIS issues were my fault. The cashier and bagger stood there, said and did nothing to help contain this situation.

I left the store minding my own business and went to the car. As I put the bags into the back seat and closed the door I then looked up and saw the vulgar man standing there. He again started yelling at Moi for not helping him. When he finally stopped his tantrum fit, I looked him in the eye and simply told him “perhaps you should look in the mirror at yourself for about 7 days straight, without smoking…because maybe then you will have the money you need for more important things like getting your girlfriend and baby the proper medical attention…if they even are really sick? Tell me, do I look like I was born yesterday? And with that I got in the car and left.

As I was driving along I notice a woman standing against a wall and in one hand she was holding up a sign that read “Please Help-Need Money, My house burned down!” and in the other hand she was holding onto a lit cigarette! Really, really? All I could think was “did the cigarette burn it down, she might want to stop that habit, or maybe not be smoking while trying to get free money for her burned down house” I had to giggle at the contradiction of the scene before me.

Soon after that I went into a bagel shop for some fresh lox and bagels. I approached the counter and saw a skinny attractive looking(until she opened her mouth) female clerk. She began to smile and ask if I needed anything. I noticed she only had 2 teeth, and then she wiped her nose with her bare hands. I decided it might be safer if I just left. I guess I now know why she was so thin…because she could not eat the bagels with only 2 teeth.

I can see it now…tomorrow’s bagel of the day…Boogie filled Bagels!

Gray Hairs BE GONE!

Moi has noticed a few gray hairs on various parts of my perfect body!  Can you imagine the horror, the disgust and shame I am experiencing?

Moi has seen some gray hairs, but never on my head or my body!  At this very moment I am drinking right from the box of wine.  I think I will install a shelf on the wall next to my desk that is higher so that I can attach a tube to the end of the nozzle and stick in my mouth.  That way my hands are free to type!  

Anywho...a few days ago I was giving myself a "trim" and that is when the horror began!  So I thought if I remove all the hair, then I will not have to deal with this embarrassing situation.  But then I thought...when it grows back I will either have to shave it all off again or it will grow in with more gray.  So I decided I would color it and that way it would look natural, without the gray.  So I got out my bag of tricks, colored my hair on my head(the one on my shoulders) and then the rest of it as well all the way down to my toes!

After the 45 minute processing time, I stepped into the shower and washed it out.  As I washed I realized that the color had now stained my skin.  The entire front of my body was now mocha brown!  I know I wanted a deep tan, but this was pure awful looking.  What am I to do now?  I will have to cancel my Playgirl photo session for sure! 

I scrubbed and scrubbed my body til it was raw!  I even used bleach, Lava soap, Spic and Span and Mineral Spirits!   Nothing was removing the stain from my once flawless skin.

Needless to say, I will not be out walking around in the buff anytime soon.  Perhaps I could turn this into a new trend? 

Greetings and Gossip from Paradise!

Over the past few weeks Moi has been dealing with a lot of shit! No really, I have had a bad case of diarrhea…and as you already know from “The Explosive Date” when it blows, it blows!

Anywho, recently I got a letter from a neighbor that is in Paradise, and she was filling me in on all the gossip! Apparently there is a woman that has taken up residence on 69^th St. She had lived there years ago with her frail mother. While she was there, she operated a revolving door business out of their home. Now she is back and God only knows what she plans to do this time? Oh, and then there is Jose’ who lives up the street about 2 doors, he is raising chickens in his domain…he is hoping to get the golden egg! He says he likes raising hens, but loves cocks!

Then there is Judith, who has started taking up walking her dog late at night, wearing pj’s, and a miners light strapped around her dam head…people have been complaining that she is using her “flood light” to shine for naked men or women in the trees?

OMG! I almost forgot, the “Paradise Community Managers” were terminated for embezzling, the wife was having sex with a resident and waived his monthly fees, the husband was engaging in sexual relations with minors(let me cut his balls off) and they had 5 other homes in the area that were pot farms.

One never knows who or what is living next to you.

Don’t let the white picket fence fool you, is it always the unexpected ones!

　

　

　

　

　

Hoops Of Fire, Part 2

We all have felt the impact of the fall of the American economy regardless where you are and who you are, unless perhaps you are Mitt Romney. Which is another story all together.

No I am talking about the middle class that seems to be disappearing at a steady clip right before our eyes. Maybe it is the economy, maybe it is just the way the world is now? Maybe it is because of politics and thee ole’ saying the rich get richer and the poor get poorer? There is nothing in there about the middle class? Maybe it never existed?

Moi has a tale to tell(what else is new?) about what the job market is REALLY like these days.

Picture It! A lovely fall day in November, the sun is shining high above Moi, and I find myself surfing the net for jobs(what a shock) and come across a job: Event/Party Coordinator, so I reply to the ad with my resume and the next day I get a reply. This all started on Nov. 9^th 2011. I went in for the interview on Nov. 10^th when I walked into Jazzy Jewels Parties, I was the only one there. The owner’s mother let me into wait for her daughter. When she finally arrived twenty minutes late(with her fast food) she was so casual about the whole thing. In fact, she was more worried about which sandwich was hers, her mother’s and her boyfriends, then she was with interviewing Moi. I started to see red flags, but thought I would give this a chance. Well needless to say she is unprofessional, talks to her staff like they are dirt beneath her wannabe diva heels. She can’t lift a finger, and has no clue about what it means to be organized, professional and honest. She (not to mention names-Alicia) asked me to come to an event with her so she could see Moi in action.

The day of the event comes and I am early, ready for the day and dressed to kill. She drags her feet because she has nothing organized, does not even have the proper tools and supplies for the day. Who does this? Any who…She arrives for the event 45 minutes late. She was suppose to be at least an hour early to do the hair and makeup for the guest of honor. Which means that she has now delayed the whole event, and the client has paid for this ballroom for 3 hours, including a buffet, a DJ, a candy buffet, pictures, and a cake table.

Our negotiations dragged out for a month and a half. I knew she was just a game playing unprofessional who has no remorse for others. Moi does not like to be played with, have my life hanging in the breeze waiting for her to finalize the details. She offered me a full time position at my terms. But then after a month of dragging this out she recanted her offer.

Tell me, how are people suppose to get work when there are people like this screwing with lives?

This is a serious offense, and needs to be addressed. This treatment needs to stop.

I feel compelled to share my experiences with you because if you or if know someone that is/has experienced the games that “professionals” play let Moi know and I will reply or expose the truth!


　
Who wouldn’t want someone like Moi on their team? Crazy I know. I mean all this passion waiting to explode into something...

When It Rains, It Pours!

Moi is very excited!  What a week indeed!  On tuesday I had a really terrific interview, and would love to showcase my talents there.  So I guess if it is meant to be, it will.  Then on thursday I got a call for another 2 interviews elsewhere. Then Friday came along and I attended a social mixer with a friend and did some serious networking.  You know they say, when it rains it pours!    And this morning I applied for Disney!  So somebody better snatch Moi up!

Last evening I attended a grand opening event for a bar/club.  It is called Norton's.  The place was packed like a college party!  Not really my scene, but I did meet a few single's, men and women!  So naturally I put in a plug for my pal Arlie!  Moi has always been a good matchmaker, and I must say I am seriously interested in it.  I can see it now...Divinely Dating!  HAHAHAAHAAAA!!!!

Anywho today I am preparing Chicken Curry Chili!  Moi's own recipe!  I will share with you all, don't fret!

Also making baked chicken wings, and fresh baked biscuits!  Then I will settle in for the long evening of The Oscar's and joining Moi will be none other then Redwood Creek Winery!

Chao!


Divine Man

Jumping Through Hoops Of Fire For A Job, Part 1

Moi is going to be down right honest, blunt, matter or fact. Not that I have not always been, but I am going to tell you the truth, the sad reality of what it is like for people that are just trying to get ahead. For those that want to get a job, to work, to feel worth something again. To know that tomorrow morning when I wake there is something there, something to wake up for. Some people are happy with waking up for food, drugs, alcohol, family, kids, a spouse, etc… But Moi needs more then that, I need to feel it in my soul, on my terms. I want to know I am making a difference, I have no kids, and I don’t do drugs, ok so I have some alcohol like wine once and a while. I have family and someone that knows when my heart is breaking into millions of tiny pieces because of someone else. Because no one will give me a chance. One little chance.

Like a lot of Americans, Moi has been looking for work. Seven days a week, and on average I apply for 10-30 jobs a day. What I have learned is that what you read online is not always true. The bulk of the jobs online that are posted on job banks, company websites and such are not even open, available jobs.

I have applied for the jobs that pay min. wage, I apply for jobs that I am most likely to qualified to do, but I have too. I have no choice. I NEED an income somehow. I will share with you examples of recent interviews and what happened, or lack of.

I will tell you this, I DO NOT APPLY for positions that I am unqualified for. I do not believe in wasting my time or anyone else’s.

The following postings are all REAL LIFE experiences…..

Follow my journey, tune in, I do this to warn you, and educate you, on the cold reality of what I have endured.

I encourage you to tune in to the next installments titled: Jumping through Hoops Of Fire.

　

In The Shower Trenches!

Now I know this will all be shocking to you....because Moi is sooooovery Divine and all, but Moi too does like to get in the trenches now and then and get dirt and paint under my perfectly manicured nails.....

Moi just finished re-bathing a shower!

It was mustard yellow, and now it is glistening Elephant Ivory Tusk!

Many, Many, Many, Many Times!

Moi has been emailed, called, begged, pleaded with on hands and knees many, many, many, many times. Too many times to count, all I know is that it has been many of times. You are now wondering what has Moi been asked to do? It is rather simple really…Match Make! And one would think it is simple as all that, when in fact there is a lot one such as Moi was take into consideration.

I have hooked up opposites, black and white, short and tall, skinny and not so skinny, people totally alike, and equals.

Just last evening as I was sitting at The Garden restaurant(217 Central Avenue) in trendy St. Petersburg FL with my dear friend Marty Manhood enjoying some Sterling Chardonnay, listening to some live music while being surrounded by lush tropical greens, and a rather old and mystical over-shadowing plush tree with magical vines dangling over-head covered us from the droplets of water that dwindled down from the heavens…

Anywho…We was a sittin’ there enjoying the mood all around, when a young man approached Moi and asked if I could help him? I asked “How can I be of service young man?” He told Moi that he was a lonely soul, he had money, a good career, a home, cars, family, a loving soul and a great personality. Not to mention he was handsome! He simply wanted to meet his soul mate. Now Moi, thought to Moi’s-self “hello I am single, how about me, yeah…pick me, pick me! 

Well I told him to get hooked up with:  www.MyTampaDating.com   


And check out the April 10th Dating Event!













　

　

La' Alfredo De La' Trailer Park!

4 tbsp. unsalted butter
3 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 package of Neufchatel Cheese, softened by the glistening sunshine
1 cup milk
4 oz. parmesan, romano, asiago and fontina cheeses grated

2 tbsp.(taste test) of dried sweet basil, or fresh
About a ½ tbsp. of peppercorn or 3 pepper ground from your grinder.

And Moi’s “special ingredient” a pinch of Cinnamon

Always taste test as you go along, to ad more ingredients slowly.

This will make 2-4 servings, for 4-8 servings, double the above measurings.


Directions

Melt unsalted butter in a medium, non-stick saucepan over medium heat(5 setting). Add minced garlic and cook for 2-3 minutes. Add softened Neufchatel cheese, stirring with whisk until utterly smooth. Add milk, slowly, a little at a time, whisking until utterly smooth. Whisk in parmesan, romano, asiago and fontina cheeses. If need be, depending on how you prefer the thickness, you can slowly add a touch of milk. Remove from heat when sauce reaches desired consistency. Sauce will thicken quickly.

Pour over cooked fettuccine, garnish plate with dried basil along the edges.

Grilled Prawns basted in a garlic butter sauce are a lovely addition for the palette, or grilled chicken with a cinnamon, cracked peppercorn, curry, garlic, and sea salt rub.



As we say here in “Paradise Park” ….enjoy and lick the plate clean!

Those Chocolate Filled Hearts, Oh My!

Happy Of Happiest Loving hearts Day!   May you be surrounded by unconditional love, surprises, romance, and those that are most important to you.  Moi is enjoying the day with my case of bonbons, caramel turtles, fried pickles, and some bubbly! 

I am staying away from the chocolate filled hearts this year, As I have learned that chocolate is not always good for the body, maybe the mind, but not the body!



Happy Valentine's Day!
May your day be filled with all the chocolate you can handle!

Queen Of The Night- Whitney Houston

She was a power house of sex appeal, intensity, soul and had the voice of an angel, the last years of her life she seemed like she was "Waiting To Exhale" underneath her armour, while under a toxic influence of addiction and a roller-coaster ride of a marriage.  What she desperately needed was a "Bodyguard," a prince charming like in "Cinderella" that would love her unconditionally.  In many ways she was "The Preacher's Wife" always looking for the hope, the faith, and joy in people and places. 

She IS Whitney Houston! Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mother and Diva!

We Will Always Love You...

Sandy- A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime!

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

Moi has a very dear friend, someone that I hold very close to my heart. We met in 2003, when Moi entered beauty college. At first I thought she was going to be a mean educator, someone I might buck horns with. She stands about 5'4, with dark chocolate colored hair, always perfectly in place, reddish lipstick, she is a cross between Gladys Presley and Doris Roberts(Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond) and a pistol she is. She has shared with me many of life lessons, pain, loss, victory, inspiration, humor beyond humor, and love. She is and always has been my mentor, not just in the classroom, but in life as well.

When Moi was in beauty college I was discovering who I was, what I wanted and where I wanted to go. Moi was also a prankster along side my sidekick Lisa. One day she and Moi decided we could not take "Perking 101" any longer, we needed to de-stress. So we took a box of perm end papers, a pail of cholesterol and proceeded to go out back to "Sandy" SUV and put the end papers in her SUV on her antenna, under her wiper blades, and a pile of the cholesterol on the ground right where she would step to get in! The next day she came in and told the story of the 1,000's of perm end papers that flew in and out of her SUV as she flew down the high-way. Her telling of the story was full of humor, love and non stop laughter from all in the room. Another time Lisa and I decided to microwave a chocolate nut candy bar and smear it all over the toilet seat in the women’s restroom at the school. We even had it on the floor, and the wall. We put perm end papers all over it. We had to leave our signature mark! We then told "Sandy" that someone had shit all over and she needed to clean it up. She went in with her arm covering her nose and screamed and ran out! She said "someone blew shit all over the dam toilet, they freaking exploded!" Lisa and stood there trying to maintain a normal expression on our faces, but it was too much, we needed to release the laughter from within us!

One of the classes at school wanted to have a surprise birthday party for "Sandy" and so they asked Moi if I would make my famous meatballas and noodles! Naturally I said YES! So that night Moi made 95 meatballas, a gallon of homemade marinara sauce, and 5 boxes of noodles! She was so surprised and touched that I think she had a droplet or water that day trickling down her check!

A few years later I found myself working with her, my mentor and dear friend. Everyday was an event with her, a funny, over the top event. Once a week we would get McDonald’s for breakfast, she always ordered the #12 with a diet coke, no ice. Her and I both love Mayo, we would eat Mayo sandwiches, discuss Days Of Our Lives and snap our gum. Sandy has had her share of pain and struggle, but she has always come out stronger and truer to herself and those she loves.

Sandy is a friend for a Reason, Season and a Lifetime! My life is blessed because of her, I am a better person because we met, and I can wrap a perm perfectly because of her!



I Love You Sandy!

When Real Life Collides

What happens when real life collides with fantasy? Is it a war of two worlds? Is it a romance in the making, or maybe it is pain, loss and heartache? Or maybe, just maybe it is a small spark that will ignite into a billowing ball of fire...

Dreams, they are the secret wishes our hearts develop, sometimes at a very early age. Sometimes they are discovered later in life, and sometimes not at all. I have read so many stories of faith, hope, believing, and success. I have watched the movies and read the cliff notes, and in each of them the lead character has a happy ending, eventually.

I am in a place in my life where I am lost I guess? The passions that have stoked my fires have all slowly burned out one by one. It is due to the hardships in life, circumstances, hopes, desires, dreams, talents, and being beaten around. Being dragged through hell, the mud, and yeah sure I come out with scars, but I MAKE them heal. I make sure I am still standing. And right now I am standing. That is all I am doing. Standing and looking out over the openness, at the void.

A Blind Man, The 400 Pounder, and Mr. BIG

Recently Moi here went on a blind date, only to find out that the “date” was actually blind.  Really?  Really?  I mean what are the chances of that happening to Moi?  A few days later I went on a date with someone that I had met online, spoke on the phone with numerous times and he suggested with meet at my favorite bistro for dinner.  Moi of course thought “ like ok, I guess we can just meet there…

He did tell me he had his own wheels, so oh well.  Moi arrives looking sexy, confident, and showing just enough of my ever so flawless skin.  I tell the host that I am meeting someone and he tells me to follow him.  As I follow Harry(the host) to an empty table I see that there is a dirty martini waiting for my perky lips to suck on.  I am excited at the thought that “he” planned this.  Impressive.  A few minutes go by and I am sitting there enjoying my martini, when a very handsome man comes rolling up to me(in an electric scooter) and says to Moi: Good Evening you stunningly gorgeous creature!  How is your martini?

Well Moi is stunned, just stunned, I mean when he said he had his own wheels, he was not fooling around.  As he pulls in, Harry comes over and asks if he was ready for his libation?  He answered with a firm YES.  Moi chimes in and orders an even dirtier martini. 

The evening was great, the conversation was full of laughs and intelligence.  Eventually he approaches the “talk” about his “wheels” and what put him in the chair.  It is a sad story…He was at a ever so crowded dance club, it was packed back to back.  He and his friends were having a blast, all was great, the music was pumping, the drinks were flowing, and the phone numbers were flying!  And just as the music got a little faster there was a bunch of loud nose, screaming and the sounds of metal shattering through the air.  It happened so fast, the balcony above his was ripping away from the wall high above.  Everyone looked up and starting running, pushing people to get out, he was tripped to the floor,  In what seemed like a fast half a second he looked up and saw this big black darkness coming towards him.  All went dark.   When he regained consciousness, there were paramedics all around him, he had a air mask on his face, and they were trying to lift a 400 pound black woman off of his legs.  Sadly to say, she was only bruised, he had broken her fall.  But his legs were smashed.  His legs had been smashed by a 400 pound woman.  He would never walk again.

Another recent date I accepted was by someone I met online, again.  Now I know agreeing to meet someone online is risky, so that is why I asked for a picture.  He sent me  a pic of himself, he seemed rather tall and attractive.  He told me in an email that he would make a reservation at wherever I wanted to dine.  He said his friends called him “Big.”  I choose one of my fav places to dine: Guppy’s.  I arrived early and told the host(Buzz) who I was meeting for dinner.  He directed to the table and to my surprise there was a booster seat waiting on one of the seats.  I thought to my divine self…maybe he has a kid?  I only hope the kid is sedated! 

Shortly after my arrival, I hear a soft and sexy spoken man’s voice from behind me saying…my, my ,my, you are even more divine in person!  It seemed to be coming from below me almost.  I turned slightly to the left and saw this short man standing there with roses.  Not only was he short, but he was little, I mean a LITTLE MAN, a hobbit, a dwarf, a munchkin!

As they say, sometimes size does matter.  And sometimes it is not how big the package is, it is what is inside that counts!

So what does Love really have to do with it?

So what does love really have to do with it?  Is love really worth all the pain, sadness, loss, confusion and heart wrenching situations really worth it all?  Oh sure there are moments of happiness, maybe weeks, months and the first few years of a relationship that seem flawless.  They can even seem eternal bliss until one day you turn on the computer that you are your beloved share and what is staring you in the face is his email account…wide open for all to see.  As you sit there pondering…do I or do I not look?  He loves me, he loves me not?  After all you bought the dam thing to begin with, so you feel justified.  But you sit there and ponder more…biting your lips, picking your nose, scratching your ass…

Finally you decide to just take a quick look and see what he has been up too. 

As you are moving the mouser across the screen, you look at your engagement/commitment ring as it sparkles brightly up at you…and you think to yourself “there is nothing incriminating to find, what am I worried about?” but you keep looking.  And just when you think there is nothing to find, your eyes are wide open as you read the subject line: I can’t wait to meet you sexy.

As your heart begins to beat faster and faster, your head starts pounding, your fingers are now shaking like French fries on a platter during an earthquake…you open the email and read it.  It reads: I am so excited that we are going to meet, I will be at the club called “Black Diamond” at 7:00pm on Thursday evening.  I will be wearing tight black pants, a short sleeved tight black shirt and waiting at the bar for you.  Here is my phone number:  000-000-0000  call me anytime today!  I can’t wait to hear your voice!

Thinking of you,

Young Lover

As my eyes are reading this in disbelief I scroll down to see my man’s reply.

He writes to “Young Lover” the following…

It was so great to talk with you yesterday and it was even better hearing your sweet, sexy young voice!  I can not wait until we meet and hopefully…well who knows what will come of it?

I am now crying, feeling like my world has just been blown apart. As if my heart has been ripped out of my chest.  What is wrong with me?  Why does he not love me anymore?   What did I do wrong?  I am going to kill him!  I hate him!  He is going to pay for this! 

All these raw emotions are flooding my mind and my shattered heart.  So while under the influence of heart ache I call him at work…he is in the middle of a board meeting and he answers the call…hey honey, I am in a meeting, can I call you back?  And I reply with…ummm well actually I have something I would like to share with everyone(as they all know me)…can you put me on speaker phone?  He replies with, well sure I guess so.
So I start with saying hi to everyone!  And then ask him who “Young Lover” is and what makes his voice sexier then my own?  And that he can pack his dam bags and get the fuck out!  In fact I will help you pack.  In fact everything will be in the garbage like trash should be, which is exactly where you belong!  Everyone, have a lovely afternoon, and just know that your boss here is a male whore!  An OLD male Whore, but a whore all the same!

So I ask you, what does love really have to do with it?  If this had happened to Moi I would have printed out the emails, and kept them for the perfect moment when they would be of most use.  And in the meantime I would have held my tongue and made sure he knew how much I loved him, made sure I got anything I wanted, and then made copies of all the emails and mailed them to all his employees, his family, his friends, and then I would have kicked his ass to the curb…into the gutter!










You are a divine creature, and do not, DO NOT ever let anyone make you feel less then that!